A random question regarding English Language

My sister did some practicing on question 5 before doing her English language Exam and it was based on writing a story about a disagreement and she wrote about a girl called Aki going to Brazil with her boyfriend Ben who got fired and the holiday acts as a way for Ben to relax and release the pent up tension he had, but when they came home from Brazil, Ben gets mad at Aki for leaving the suitcase that has the last of his salery from before he got fired when he specifically told her to get it and blamed her for not getting it, when Aki tells Ben that it wasn’t her fault and he could’ve done something to get it as well. This has the disagreement leading to Aki getting slapped and so she runs up to her room, leaving a guilty Ben (from what my sister said) to think about what he did. This story includes punctuation such as “, !, ? Along with personification, hyperboles, metaphors ect. Also one sentence paragraphs and well structured enough paragraphs. She was worried that her answer wouldn’t be marked high so I’m here to ask: what mark would she have gotten out of 40 if it were a real exam?

-24 marks for content/ organisation
-16 for technical accuracy

Reply 1

amber.07

Well it absolutely depends on language choice e.g. ambitious vocabulary, spellings, grammar, on the story as a whole. I couldn't give it a mark without seeing it, but it sounds like it was a structured piece of writing. Did she use a semi-colon (I mean not compulsory ofc but a great way to bump up your marks) and what type of vocabulary did she use (e.g. was it ambitious vocabulary?)

I mean by the sounds of things it was a structured piece of writing with considerate use of language techniques which would instantly give you I'd say 25+/40

Reply 2

Anonymous #1

Original post by amber.07

Well it absolutely depends on language choice e.g. ambitious vocabulary, spellings, grammar, on the story as a whole. I couldn't give it a mark without seeing it, but it sounds like it was a structured piece of writing. Did she use a semi-colon (I mean not compulsory ofc but a great way to bump up your marks) and what type of vocabulary did she use (e.g. was it ambitious vocabulary?)
I mean by the sounds of things it was a structured piece of writing with considerate use of language techniques which would instantly give you I'd say 25+/40

Yeah, she used a lot of ambitious vocabulary, and used a colon at some points like describing the emotions Aki felt during the disagreement that ultimately led to more conflict, adding in language devices at every chance she got to make enough coherent sense and really trying to capture the emotions of the characters because in the context of her story, it was the first time that a disagreement between Ben and Aki led to conflict as bad as how it got with compelling build up to the confrontation. She tried being as descriptive as she could get to bump up the marks.

But yeah, I told her she should be happy with what she wrote , she’s a really good student grade based but has a bit of a self-doubting problem and was worried about how she worded it

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