Help

Sorry this might be quite long but i guenuinly dont know what to do anymore. Ever since yr 7 i have been in so many year groups leading up to now which im in yr 11. But i never felt happy in any friendgroup i gave been in. In one friend group there is this girl that would always look at ne differently and act rlly close with the other friends so i could never feel close with any of them. Then everyobe in this friebdgroup started avoiding this girl in our friebdgroup and fellt bad for her so i started hanging our with her and i told my friebdgroup that im sorry for not hanging out wity them. But then the gurl i started hanging out with starting becoming distant with me and closer with someone else and starts leavibg me on seen when i send her tiktoks. Its rlly annoying cuz so many ppl look at me differently. In another friebdgroup i have been in there was thus girl who clearly didnt like me and on leavers day when we walking out of class she shoved me to the door so she can walk out first with her friends and she would quickly bring her rriends into a tight circke to take pocs purposefully leaving me out and now im in tears cuz idk what to do anymore. Since its gcse season that means we have to all sit in the same room so i sit with that girl that instarted hanging out when nobody in our previous friendgroup were but once all her friends come that “friend” leaves instantly with them leaving me on the table by myself so i have to pretend im revising whilst everyone is sat together on their own tables. Luckily its halfterm now so i dont see anybody but all of this is hurting me so bad. Even now when im writing this im crying cuz it hurts. I dont feel happy anymore and have become so quiet and always felt like crying during sch. I always worried every morning where im gonna sit at sch to revise cuz its always so crowded. I only need to come to sch for an exam then i can leave straight away. Once this halfterm ends i have 6 more exams im so happy. But then there is prom. Ever since yr 7 i have been dreaming about the beautiful dresses that i can wear but now i have decided not to go because i have noone to hang out with at prom. I rlly want to go to prom but ik ill just end up in tears when i arrive. My mum kept asking me why i dont want to go to prom and that i shoukd to get pics with eveyone but i just said i dont want to. I msged my “friend” a few days ago saying i wont come but she just said” fair enough”.
Pls help i dont know want to do anymore. I just want to be happy

Reply 1

Liqht

Hi there,
I'm also in year 11 and I do understand how this must feel. What I can say is that you're so close to the end of high school. I don't know if you're going to the same sixth form as those girls, but I would say to wait for sixth form. New people come, old people go and you can start again. You can make new friends, be a new person and forget those girls. I'm so honestly sorry that they're acting that way towards you, it's awful, and basically bullying. Do not let them see that it gets to you. Focus on yourself and your studies and I promise you, you will find a good friend, after GCSEs, in whatever education you decide to pursue, reach out and make new friends, and feel that liberating feeling of leaving behind a toxic group. I am telling you that you will be happy again.
And about prom, honestly, I'm not going either. I lost a lot of my friends and I'm so insecure in myself that I'm not going. I just want you to know that a lot of people don't go to prom, I don't know if this will make you feel better but it might help you realise you're not alone. Prom is one aspect of your whole life. I doubt if in 10 years time someone asks whether you went to prom, you'll have had so much life happen to you by then that prom will be irrelevant. If it's something you really want to go to, you can still go, look utterly beautiful, maybe just turn up and see how things go and leave if you don't feel comfortable. Or alternatively, if you really think going is going to make you feel worse and not better, just enjoy your day / night. While they go to prom, do something you love, maybe pull an all-nighter and watch a movie with snacks, or do some shopping that day just because, just try to enjoy that night as it may make you feel happier knowing that you did something even if it wasn't going to prom.
Also, there will be parties when you're older and prom is just prom in the end. Nothing that special or fancy like they make it out to be in the movies. The stories people will post? Just a small glimpse of what it is. In reality, or what it is at my school / for me, it's just turn up in dresses and eat some food, chat in groups, if you're not popular it's awkward, and I'm not popular so that's a bit why I'm not going.
I don't know if any of this will make you feel better, or feel less alone, or give you hope, but please don't let some silly girls get in the way of smashing the rest of your GCSEs and having a wonderful summer. In a few years, you won't even remember them and will have found new friends. That's part of growing up. Going into the world, meeting new people and realising what true friends are, meeting people with similar thoughts and interests as you.
You will be happy, you've just got to wait out this small storm <3