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mark my biology essay

i answered the question: “Write an essay on the importance of receptors in living organisms” for AQA alevel biology.

my teacher gave me 15/25 because i didn’t interlink the paragraphs. thing is, my teachers say you have to link the paragraphs to eachother, but i’ve heard otherwise from others. ms estruch on youtube said AQA themselves said you only need to link back to the main essay title, and not between paragraphs??

I linked the pics of my essay (sorry for the awful handwriting you can try make sense of it) can someone just tell me if my teacher is right to give me 15 marks, or if i deserved more because of this issue?? thanks


https://docs.google.com/document/d/1-R_hZkz5AUD3m6wGZ0Q7Ni6p2OfRpbkV4HaGJi57Kh4/edit
i answered the question: “Write an essay on the importance of receptors in living organisms” for AQA alevel biology.
my teacher gave me 15/25 because i didn’t interlink the paragraphs. thing is, my teachers say you have to link the paragraphs to eachother, but i’ve heard otherwise from others. ms estruch on youtube said AQA themselves said you only need to link back to the main essay title, and not between paragraphs??
I linked the pics of my essay (sorry for the awful handwriting you can try make sense of it) can someone just tell me if my teacher is right to give me 15 marks, or if i deserved more because of this issue?? thanks
https://docs.google.com/document/d/1-R_hZkz5AUD3m6wGZ0Q7Ni6p2OfRpbkV4HaGJi57Kh4/edit

Hi hun, I know this is frustrating however according to the mark scheme the highest amount of marks you could achieve is 15. I'll break this down for you:

To achieve full marks you need to show the importance of the receptor instead of just writing about topics that include receptors. Also to achieve full marks you need to include at least 5 topics in your answer.

You have 5 topics in ur answer and they are mostly detailed, however you won't reach beyond 15 for the following reasons:

According to the mark scheme due to the fact you have covered several aspects but unfortunately they are all unrelated, the highest mark you could attain is 15. If you found a way to link all 5 topics, you would reach up to 20 marks - so long as there is only ONE significant error.

However you make 2 significant errors - your mixup with IAA and your sentence about organisms gaining energy from feeding on plants which is incorrect.

In order to reach 20, I would find a way to LINK all 5 paragraphs to EACH OTHER and also correct your errors.

In order to achieve 21-25 this is what the mark scheme states:
Response shows holistic approach to the question with a fully integrated answer which makes clear links between several different topics and the theme of the question. Biology is detailed and comprehensive A-level content, uses appropriate terminology, and is very well written and always clearly explained. No significant errors or irrelevant material. For top marks in the band, the answer shows evidence of reading beyond specification requirements.

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