The Student Room Group

is this normal?

I broke up with my first boyfriend a little bit ago, and as he was sort of my first everything, I just wanted to ask if I was being weird or if this is out of the ordinary

we got into an argument once because I felt like during sex he never tried to make me finish. He COULD do it, like it wasn't an issue with his skills, and he wanted to , he just wouldn't try unless I asked. He said he didn't know if I wanted to or not and that relationships are two way and I need to communicate more but I was just really confused - he finished every time, because he's a man and he can from just sex. Most of the time I'd end up doing it to myself while he just kissed my neck or something.

The argument also evolved a bit because he said that everyone needs help, and apparently I couldn't make him *** with my hands or mouth unless he grabbed my head or something but I didn't feel like that was the same thing and it just made me feel bad, especially as he said the only time he'd *** from a blowjob without "helping" as he put it, was with his ex. He said I was great at it but he needed to help me to finish it (this is fine, it's just the ex comment).

We also were still talking for a bit after the breakup but we got in a fight, I brought up the topic of that other argument (which I know is petty), he said that he'd made every other girl he'd been with *** without them asking, it was just me?? He also had some issues with losing an erection while we were together and said that hadn't happened, "never once in the two years I was with my ex". He said that the highs with me were the best he had, but that consistently he preferred having sex with her because something just felt off with me, or he was just hornier in that relationship. I unadded him after this.

He later told me in person that he had lied about preferring his ex to make me upset, but it felt too specific to be a lie imo, I think he just felt guilty. Because I haven't been with anyone else I genuinely have no idea if any of this is just how sex goes, and I'm being stupid, like you're supposed to ask if you want to finish.

Sorry, this is more of a rant than anything else but I do want some perspective.
Original post by Anonymous
I broke up with my first boyfriend a little bit ago, and as he was sort of my first everything, I just wanted to ask if I was being weird or if this is out of the ordinary
we got into an argument once because I felt like during sex he never tried to make me finish. He COULD do it, like it wasn't an issue with his skills, and he wanted to , he just wouldn't try unless I asked. He said he didn't know if I wanted to or not and that relationships are two way and I need to communicate more but I was just really confused - he finished every time, because he's a man and he can from just sex. Most of the time I'd end up doing it to myself while he just kissed my neck or something.
The argument also evolved a bit because he said that everyone needs help, and apparently I couldn't make him *** with my hands or mouth unless he grabbed my head or something but I didn't feel like that was the same thing and it just made me feel bad, especially as he said the only time he'd *** from a blowjob without "helping" as he put it, was with his ex. He said I was great at it but he needed to help me to finish it (this is fine, it's just the ex comment).
We also were still talking for a bit after the breakup but we got in a fight, I brought up the topic of that other argument (which I know is petty), he said that he'd made every other girl he'd been with *** without them asking, it was just me?? He also had some issues with losing an erection while we were together and said that hadn't happened, "never once in the two years I was with my ex". He said that the highs with me were the best he had, but that consistently he preferred having sex with her because something just felt off with me, or he was just hornier in that relationship. I unadded him after this.
He later told me in person that he had lied about preferring his ex to make me upset, but it felt too specific to be a lie imo, I think he just felt guilty. Because I haven't been with anyone else I genuinely have no idea if any of this is just how sex goes, and I'm being stupid, like you're supposed to ask if you want to finish.
Sorry, this is more of a rant than anything else but I do want some perspective.
good thing you broke up with him. He only cared about his own pleasure given that he didn't have to worry abt what girls felt. The fact that he compared you to his ex was a red flag. You're not being weird, what u felt is normal. While yes, it's ur first relationship so you don't have much experience but its not okay for him to just use you for your own pleasure and just expect that you are the same as his ex, whilst shaming you and comparing you to others. You dodged a bullet
Original post by cherrycosmos
good thing you broke up with him. He only cared about his own pleasure given that he didn't have to worry abt what girls felt. The fact that he compared you to his ex was a red flag. You're not being weird, what u felt is normal. While yes, it's ur first relationship so you don't have much experience but its not okay for him to just use you for your own pleasure and just expect that you are the same as his ex, whilst shaming you and comparing you to others. You dodged a bullet


i second this, seemed like he didn’t care about your feelings or about you also enjoying sex as well & im so sorry abt it, sex should be enjoyable for you and the person(s) involved and clearly if he can’t make you *** and complains that you can’t make him *** he’s not the man for you, he doesn’t seem very nice & seems like a very selfish and entitled person; someone else out there will make you feel so loved💕
People getting wayyy to comfortable on this app
Original post by Anonymous
People getting wayyy to comfortable on this app


???
you’re allowed to post things like this on tsr i don’t get it
could’ve jus scrolled past
Reply 5
Original post by Anonymous
People getting wayyy to comfortable on this app

yeah, if I'm anonymous lmao
Reply 6
Original post by cherrycosmos
good thing you broke up with him. He only cared about his own pleasure given that he didn't have to worry abt what girls felt. The fact that he compared you to his ex was a red flag. You're not being weird, what u felt is normal. While yes, it's ur first relationship so you don't have much experience but its not okay for him to just use you for your own pleasure and just expect that you are the same as his ex, whilst shaming you and comparing you to others. You dodged a bullet

thank you, he is a nice person and obviously I can't communicate everything in this post. he's just a bit immature and a little strange in some ways, but thank you for reassuring me that this isn't the norm because while I did enjoy having sex with him I felt like I was going crazy when we argued about that!!
Reply 7
Original post by Anonymous
i second this, seemed like he didn’t care about your feelings or about you also enjoying sex as well & im so sorry abt it, sex should be enjoyable for you and the person(s) involved and clearly if he can’t make you *** and complains that you can’t make him *** he’s not the man for you, he doesn’t seem very nice & seems like a very selfish and entitled person; someone else out there will make you feel so loved💕

thank you, slut era for uni is needed I think 🤣💞

Quick Reply