English Language Paper 2 Q5

Can someone see if it is good.. I did it in the 45 min frame

Taking endless selfies can only have negative consequences for teens. It teaches them to value the superficial surface and seek approval of others. Selfies are a poison to a healthy mindset.

Write an article for your school website regarding this issue

Imagine this: you are in a restaurant with your best friend celebrating a private and special occasion. Imagine: your heart aching, crying, yearning for the attention of your friend to be in this present moment. You are confused. On one hand, she is here with you, smiling at your jokes. Simultaneously, she is zoned out looking at the rectangular brick on her hand. It is almost as if this brick is more important than you. Every minute, she angles her face like a model making sure the light above them hits at a perfect angle. Again, they commit this deed unintentionally. The precious day which was only supposed to be focused for you and them only turns upside down into a world full of that distraction. Posing, posting publishing: it is a never-ending cycle that we can never escape in the world of technology..

For those who aren’t already aware, here’s the issue: too many young people are consumed and influenced by the ideas that are normalised in society (which shouldn’t be). The main issue is the constant posting on selfies. It has been entrenched in our brains that we need to show people what we are doing or even what it seems that is happening in our lives. But in reality, that is far from the truth. The ubiquitous nature of this shown everywhere on social media does not allow us to sense the danger that it poses.

There are many reasons why we should tackle the issue of endless selfies. Firstly, is the fact that most selfies people take these days contain a plethora of filters. Ones that make our eyebrows longer, ones that make our skin perceived as much smoother, ones that ultimately make us seem different than we actually are in real life… and the list goes on. Although, people may argue that there are a lot of funny filters too, that is in the minority that teenagers use these days. Why do we need these filters? What may be seen as a non harmful way of making yourself look ‘beautiful’, is actually a poison in disguise. It is safe to say that we are exposed to influencers online that have the ‘ideal’ appearance, therefore, we are longing to look like them. Perfect, stunning,breathtaking: this is what they want to have in their own looks.It is combined with the comment section full of strangers from the other side of the world, liking, sharing, and praising their faces. As a result, they succumb to making themselves like this, so making use of filters aids them to hide what is depicted in society as ‘flaws’. This is what we need to address; filters are a symbolism of teenagers' unhealthy mindset and low-self esteem. We need to be proud of what they are whether in appearance or in personality but unfortunately, selfies hinder this idea.

So here is the solution I propose: we need to raise awareness that no one (absolutely noone) in this world is the Barbie and Ken-like dream and appearance. Embrace what you see in yourself, and ignore the raised eyes around you that shake their heads in disapproval. I promise, this would dramatically improve your mental health, because it is being nourished with strength and self-love. Another solution is to take a break from social media and focus on the things that surround you. Family, nature and friends are what you should value and pay attention to rather than the pernicious and addictive phone. Our world doesn't revolve in digitally and the constant praise of other people but revolves around living your life to the fullest without distractions.
Imagine this: you are in a restaurant with your best friend celebrating a private and special occasion. Imagine: your heart content, traquilled, smiling for the attention of your friend to be in this present moment. You are at peace as she is here with you, smiling at your jokes.. Every minute, their eyes are fixated on you instead. The precious day which was only supposed to be focused on yourself and them has not been disrupted by the world of technology. Posing, posting, publishing: it is a never-ending cycle that we are able to escape if we put our mind to it.

Thanks in advance xx

Reply 1

useless-student

oh MY GAWD!! definately the best writing that's real and u better teach me how to write like that!!!grade 10!!!💯

Reply 2

koolkhad

Original post by useless-student

oh MY GAWD!! definately the best writing that's real and u better teach me how to write like that!!!grade 10!!!💯

Paint a picture: You need to begin by hooking a reader by making them picture something in their minds straight away and establish why the isssue is important.

Use phrases like- ‘Picture this:’ 'Imagine the scene’ - then make it descriptive so they can picture it

Ethos: Establish why it is worth reading your viewpoint (anecdotes)

Begin with a motif/ extended metaphor/ cyclical structure here

What is the issue?: Outline the issue that you will be discussing. Make your opinion clear through a topic sentence.

Logos: Prove to me that this is a problem- facts/statistics/ rhetorical question followed by hypophora

‘For those of you that aren’t already aware…’

Currently in the UK

‘So why is everyone talking about… ? Here is the issue:’

10.

Argue once: Give your first main argument for why reasons that your opinion is ‘correct’ Sound as well-informed as possible.

11.

Topic sentence should build on previous paragraph using discourse marker- ‘therefore, beyond this, furthermore’

12.

‘Pathos’- Ppl are persuaded via emotions. Link back to anecdote at the beginning. Use emotive Language, repetition and pronouns you build feelings of guilt and responsibility

13.

Argue against: Present counter argument then dismiss it.

14.

Discourse markers at the beginning of the paragraph ‘Alternatively, further to this you may argue’

15.

Could add counter argument f appropriate or just build on previous point.

16.

Resolution: Provide a solution to your problem. Don’t make it too extreme. Make it impossible not to agree!

17.

Big picture ideas - How can you make it about wider issues in society

18.

Change the tone to one of hope and positivity through a semantic field ‘ The solution is simple:’ Your argument may have become too negative and you need to show them there is hope

19.

Link: Go back to what you said in your intro and twist it to a positive.

20.

‘Now picture this:’ ‘So, now let’s imagine a world where.. So let us picture a different scene’

21.

How is your motif/extended metaphor/ cyclical structure going to finish?

I hope this helps! Feel free to ask any question

Reply 3