Put yourself in the shoes of a physically attractive heterosexual woman. What would you want from a man?
Sex, companionship, romance, financial partnership, parenting partnership? Anything else?
How would you go about getting it?
Would you be passive, or would you be pro-active?
Bearing in mind sexual infection and pregnancy risk. As well as social conditioning on how one should behave, how selective would you be as a woman? And what would determine your selection as to yay or nay?
How much of the decision would be based on logic and how much on feelings?
What could or should you do as a man to trigger the right feelings?
What do so many men do that results in them not triggering the right feelings?
Sex, companionship, romance, financial partnership, parenting partnership? Anything else?
How would you go about getting it?
Would you be passive, or would you be pro-active?
Bearing in mind sexual infection and pregnancy risk. As well as social conditioning on how one should behave, how selective would you be as a woman? And what would determine your selection as to yay or nay?
How much of the decision would be based on logic and how much on feelings?
What could or should you do as a man to trigger the right feelings?
What do so many men do that results in them not triggering the right feelings?
Tinder, whether it originally was intended that way or not, has been designed to promote and reward the most superficial behaviours in the dating world. That's why.
Most dating apps are to a large extent the same. I've been pondering using Hinge lately, which is supposed to be better than most, until I had a chat about it with my flatmate the other day.
Dating multiple people at a time has in many cities apparently become the norm now, which is especially easy for women because of how horny many guys are. It doesn't mean those dates will necessarily be any good of course, which is only part of the reason why lots of women now do this. I can't be bothered to list the other reasons. I'm growing out of winging about these things.
If you have a problem with how dating apps work, then don't use them. Or at least, have a hard think about what it is you are looking for, set yourself some robust standards and deal breakers, stick to them religiously, and toss the people who don't measure-up to them. Don't compromise just because she might have blonde hair or whatever other bs. I've simplified my deal-breakers a lot:
I value my time, for one, and I'd expect the above list to save me a lot of wasted time going on dates with people who just aren't worth the effort... but that also assumes that they will just compliantly filter themselves out. Most of those questions aren't the typical ice-breakers you would ask on a first or even second date, but it's best to get it out of the way rather than finding out about that sort of crap 3 months in, then trying to backtrack and instead ending up in a 'situantionship' because you no longer like them as much as you thought or wanted to based off your initial impressions of them.
The four points above cover all the main bases I can think of in very practical terms, yet without getting into the boring minutia. Point 1 covers lifestyle. Point 2 covers financial responsibility. Point 3 covers attachment styles. Point 4 covers personality / trustworthiness. Those 4 points together correlate strongly enough with a multitude of over deal-breakers of mine (including the controversial "body count" issue) that I probably don't even have to worry much about those anymore. I might need to soften-up point 4 though, so it comes across less aggressive. I'd like point 4 to not even be necessary, but experience taught me not to take anything for granted anymore.
Most dating apps are to a large extent the same. I've been pondering using Hinge lately, which is supposed to be better than most, until I had a chat about it with my flatmate the other day.
Dating multiple people at a time has in many cities apparently become the norm now, which is especially easy for women because of how horny many guys are. It doesn't mean those dates will necessarily be any good of course, which is only part of the reason why lots of women now do this. I can't be bothered to list the other reasons. I'm growing out of winging about these things.
If you have a problem with how dating apps work, then don't use them. Or at least, have a hard think about what it is you are looking for, set yourself some robust standards and deal breakers, stick to them religiously, and toss the people who don't measure-up to them. Don't compromise just because she might have blonde hair or whatever other bs. I've simplified my deal-breakers a lot:
1.
No drugs
2.
No credit card debt
3.
Not currently in a relationship, open relationship, situantionship, recently broken up or dating multiple people
4.
Not lying or withholding information about any of the above
The four points above cover all the main bases I can think of in very practical terms, yet without getting into the boring minutia. Point 1 covers lifestyle. Point 2 covers financial responsibility. Point 3 covers attachment styles. Point 4 covers personality / trustworthiness. Those 4 points together correlate strongly enough with a multitude of over deal-breakers of mine (including the controversial "body count" issue) that I probably don't even have to worry much about those anymore. I might need to soften-up point 4 though, so it comes across less aggressive. I'd like point 4 to not even be necessary, but experience taught me not to take anything for granted anymore.
(edited 9 months ago)
because they have an infinite supply of chads on there
Original post by NonIndigenous
Tinder, whether it originally was intended that way or not, has been designed to promote and reward the most superficial behaviours in the dating world. That's why.
Most dating apps are to a large extent the same. I've been pondering using Hinge lately, which is supposed to be better than most, until I had a chat about it with my flatmate the other day.
Dating multiple people at a time has in many cities apparently become the norm now, which is especially easy for women because of how horny many guys are. It doesn't mean those dates will necessarily be any good of course, which is only part of the reason why lots of women now do this. I can't be bothered to list the other reasons. I'm growing out of winging about these things.
If you have a problem with how dating apps work, then don't use them. Or at least, have a hard think about what it is you are looking for, set yourself some robust standards and deal breakers, stick to them religiously, and toss the people who don't measure-up to them. I've simplified my deal-breakers a lot:
I value my time, for one, and I'd expect the above list to save me a lot of wasted time going on dates with people who just aren't worth the effort... but that also assumes that they will just compliantly filter themselves out. Most of those questions aren't the typical ice-breakers you would ask on a first or even second date, but it's best to get it out of the way rather than finding out about that sort of crap 3 months in, then trying to backtrack and instead ending up in a 'situantionship' because you no longer like them as much as you thought or wanted to.
The four points above cover all the main bases I can think of, without getting into the minutia of it all. Point 1 covers lifestyle. Point 2 covers financial responsibility. Point 3 covers attachment styles. Point 4 covers personality / trustworthiness. Those 4 points together correlate strongly enough with a multitude of over deal-breakers of mine, that I probably don't even have to bring those up anymore.
Most dating apps are to a large extent the same. I've been pondering using Hinge lately, which is supposed to be better than most, until I had a chat about it with my flatmate the other day.
Dating multiple people at a time has in many cities apparently become the norm now, which is especially easy for women because of how horny many guys are. It doesn't mean those dates will necessarily be any good of course, which is only part of the reason why lots of women now do this. I can't be bothered to list the other reasons. I'm growing out of winging about these things.
If you have a problem with how dating apps work, then don't use them. Or at least, have a hard think about what it is you are looking for, set yourself some robust standards and deal breakers, stick to them religiously, and toss the people who don't measure-up to them. I've simplified my deal-breakers a lot:
1.
No drugs
2.
No credit card debt
3.
Not currently in a relationship, open relationship, situantionship, recently broken up or dating multiple people
4.
Not lying or withholding information about any of the above
The four points above cover all the main bases I can think of, without getting into the minutia of it all. Point 1 covers lifestyle. Point 2 covers financial responsibility. Point 3 covers attachment styles. Point 4 covers personality / trustworthiness. Those 4 points together correlate strongly enough with a multitude of over deal-breakers of mine, that I probably don't even have to bring those up anymore.
I'd like to add a number 5 to that (very good) list, albeit less of an important one. For me I wouldn't want to be with someone who doesn't find me funny (or enjoy being around me as I am now if I generalise it), because I don't want to change to make someone be into me. I need them to like who I am first.
And in response to the OP, I'd like to say that most of the women on Tinder probably don't count as the 'best girls'. Maybe to look at, but to be with? I'm not convinced.
Original post by Doomotron
I'd like to add a number 5 to that (very good) list, albeit less of an important one. For me I wouldn't want to be with someone who doesn't find me funny (or enjoy being around me as I am now if I generalise it), because I don't want to change to make someone be into me. I need them to like who I am first.
And in response to the OP, I'd like to say that most of the women on Tinder probably don't count as the 'best girls'. Maybe to look at, but to be with? I'm not convinced.
And in response to the OP, I'd like to say that most of the women on Tinder probably don't count as the 'best girls'. Maybe to look at, but to be with? I'm not convinced.
It's a good point, but hard to determine if you genuinely find someone attractive and funny enough, until you have actually met them. That may be a point no. 5 to keep as an ace up your sleeve once you actually go on a date (rather than putting it on your dating profile). Otherwise if you say that she should find you funny, there is a chance she might start pretending like she does once you meet. There's lots of pretending going on.
Original post by Doomotron
I'd like to add a number 5 to that (very good) list, albeit less of an important one. For me I wouldn't want to be with someone who doesn't find me funny (or enjoy being around me as I am now if I generalise it), because I don't want to change to make someone be into me. I need them to like who I am first.
And in response to the OP, I'd like to say that most of the women on Tinder probably don't count as the 'best girls'. Maybe to look at, but to be with? I'm not convinced.
And in response to the OP, I'd like to say that most of the women on Tinder probably don't count as the 'best girls'. Maybe to look at, but to be with? I'm not convinced.
To be honest I only care about looks
Original post by Rr600
To be honest I only care about looks
Do what you want, but I really don't think that's the right frame of mind for meeting people.
Original post by Doomotron
Do what you want, but I really don't think that's the right frame of mind for meeting people.
Most people only care about looks when dating
Original post by Rr600
Most people only care about looks when dating
1.
That's not actually true.
2.
Even if it was, it wouldn't be a good thing.
Original post by Doomotron
1.
That's not actually true.
2.
Even if it was, it wouldn't be a good thing.
Do you like ugly girls? Lol
Being attractive ≠ being able to find someone that is the right fit for them in their day-to-day lives.
Dating apps are great for trying to meet people outside of your existing social circles.
Dating apps are great for trying to meet people outside of your existing social circles.
(edited 9 months ago)
Original post by Rr600
Do you like ugly girls? Lol
If you date solely by looks, good luck finding someone you get along with. You'll have a lot more luck dating by personality first rather than looks.
You can change how someone looks - if the person you date is a bit overweight, you can to to the gym together - but you can't change someone's personality.
OP making the word 'Best' do an awful lot of work here 😅
Original post by Doomotron
If you date solely by looks, good luck finding someone you get along with. You'll have a lot more luck dating by personality first rather than looks.
You can change how someone looks - if the person you date is a bit overweight, you can to to the gym together - but you can't change someone's personality.
You can change how someone looks - if the person you date is a bit overweight, you can to to the gym together - but you can't change someone's personality.
Dating by personality only is pointless to me, I need physical attraction to be interested. Good luck being happy with someone you find ugly
Original post by StriderHort
OP making the word 'Best' do an awful lot of work here 😅
Well I'm sure most guys here would sell their mother to date Tinder girls. That proves they're the best
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