Relationship ****

It’s all about the past, and I am having a hard time getting over it. She let guys touch her easily, and knowing this about her past makes me feel like I’m just one of them. Despite her saying she loves me, it's hard to trust completely.

When I came across her old texts with those guys, I saw how flirtatious and lovey-dovey she was with them. She got attracted so easily, which made me feel not special. She met me when I was looking for a serious relationship, and now we’re staying together because I’m not like those guys. If it wasn’t for me, she might have been played by many others.

Sometimes, I feel like she doesn’t deserve me. It seems like she isn’t putting in the effort, while I am putting in too much. I always take care of her, cook for her, text her, and share everything about my life. However, if I don’t text her, she wouldn’t text me back or ask about my day. While she does reciprocate occasionally, it’s not as much as I do for her.

Reply 1

Anonymous #2

Original post by Anonymous

It’s all about the past, and I am having a hard time getting over it. She let guys touch her easily, and knowing this about her past makes me feel like I’m just one of them. Despite her saying she loves me, it's hard to trust completely.
When I came across her old texts with those guys, I saw how flirtatious and lovey-dovey she was with them. She got attracted so easily, which made me feel not special. She met me when I was looking for a serious relationship, and now we’re staying together because I’m not like those guys. If it wasn’t for me, she might have been played by many others.
Sometimes, I feel like she doesn’t deserve me. It seems like she isn’t putting in the effort, while I am putting in too much. I always take care of her, cook for her, text her, and share everything about my life. However, if I don’t text her, she wouldn’t text me back or ask about my day. While she does reciprocate occasionally, it’s not as much as I do for her.

Hey there!

I don't know who you are or about you partner or what advice you want but this is my opinions:

Maybe you're over thinking things? Have you had someone else's point of view? Or any of your friends mention anything? Maybe you're just being too clingy or over protective?

Honestly I would sit down and talk to her about it, be open and honest and let this be the opportunity to ask any awkward/embarrassing or angry questions if needs be. So you can get it out of your system and so she can justify or be open about her behaviour.

Considering the fact that she lives with you shows you are special to her and she trusts you, but in contrast I would say her behaviour is a bit sketchy.

Reply 2

jelllyfiiish

Life & Style Forum Helper

Original post by Anonymous

It’s all about the past, and I am having a hard time getting over it. She let guys touch her easily, and knowing this about her past makes me feel like I’m just one of them. Despite her saying she loves me, it's hard to trust completely.
When I came across her old texts with those guys, I saw how flirtatious and lovey-dovey she was with them. She got attracted so easily, which made me feel not special. She met me when I was looking for a serious relationship, and now we’re staying together because I’m not like those guys. If it wasn’t for me, she might have been played by many others.
Sometimes, I feel like she doesn’t deserve me. It seems like she isn’t putting in the effort, while I am putting in too much. I always take care of her, cook for her, text her, and share everything about my life. However, if I don’t text her, she wouldn’t text me back or ask about my day. While she does reciprocate occasionally, it’s not as much as I do for her.

Honestly, you deserve better than to be treated like you could be disposed of any minute. You did nothing wrong and what she did made you feel upset.
A relationship is always built on love and trust - you can’t have a loving true relationship without having trust in both sides. From your perspective, it seems like there isn’t much trust in both sides and from her actions - it looks like she was the main reason why the wall of trust built is knocked down.
So from this you really did deserve better.

I wish you all the best and hope you find happiness within the rest of the day. :smile:

Reply 3

Anonymous #3

Original post by Anonymous

It’s all about the past, and I am having a hard time getting over it. She let guys touch her easily, and knowing this about her past makes me feel like I’m just one of them. Despite her saying she loves me, it's hard to trust completely.
When I came across her old texts with those guys, I saw how flirtatious and lovey-dovey she was with them. She got attracted so easily, which made me feel not special. She met me when I was looking for a serious relationship, and now we’re staying together because I’m not like those guys. If it wasn’t for me, she might have been played by many others.
Sometimes, I feel like she doesn’t deserve me. It seems like she isn’t putting in the effort, while I am putting in too much. I always take care of her, cook for her, text her, and share everything about my life. However, if I don’t text her, she wouldn’t text me back or ask about my day. While she does reciprocate occasionally, it’s not as much as I do for her.

It's important that you feel happy in a relationship, just because she has something to do with her past doesn't mean ur current feelings aren't valid. You both deserve to have trust and feel comfortable in the relationship so talk oto her abt it or just end it

Reply 4

NonIndigenous

Moral: don't pursue or enter into a relationship with someone you can't trust.

There are maybe just 3 women currently in my life whom I'd trust enough to enter a relationship with them. Two of them are in stable relationships already. The 3rd one is really nice but from what I've gathered probably wants different things from me, so we probably wouldn't be compatible long term, which burns a little because I do like her.

One of the things they all have in common is they don't fool around with lots of guys. And they don't lie, not even once. Whereas from my experiences, promiscuous and fickle people often learn to lie a lot. This goes for men and women (they're not much better). And the older they get, the smoother they get at it, making it even harder to trust them as they age. Save yourself the hassle & don't bother in the future.

(edited 7 months ago)

Reply 5

Wired_1800

Original post by Anonymous

It’s all about the past, and I am having a hard time getting over it. She let guys touch her easily, and knowing this about her past makes me feel like I’m just one of them. Despite her saying she loves me, it's hard to trust completely.
When I came across her old texts with those guys, I saw how flirtatious and lovey-dovey she was with them. She got attracted so easily, which made me feel not special. She met me when I was looking for a serious relationship, and now we’re staying together because I’m not like those guys. If it wasn’t for me, she might have been played by many others.
Sometimes, I feel like she doesn’t deserve me. It seems like she isn’t putting in the effort, while I am putting in too much. I always take care of her, cook for her, text her, and share everything about my life. However, if I don’t text her, she wouldn’t text me back or ask about my day. While she does reciprocate occasionally, it’s not as much as I do for her.

The two important factors that you should consider are trust and reciprocity i.e. fair value exchange. If you think that you cannot trust her, then end it. If you also think that there is no reciprocity i.e. then you should look for other options, as value exchange should be the bare minimum.