The Student Room Group

Making friends

As a person who hasn’t had any’ real’ friends ever since secondary, I want to know does it get better when u go to uni? Starting college I thought it would be a nice experience and chance to meet a lot of ppl. Turns out ppl are just stubborn, sticking to their friend groups and ignoring u. When ur with them ur third- wheeling and u just want to leave atp. Leaving college now, I realised it was hopeless and I wouldn’t say I’m unfriendly in the slightest. Ppl I meet acknowledge that I’m easy to get on with etc.
Reply 1
Original post by Anonymous
As a person who hasn’t had any’ real’ friends ever since secondary, I want to know does it get better when u go to uni? Starting college I thought it would be a nice experience and chance to meet a lot of ppl. Turns out ppl are just stubborn, sticking to their friend groups and ignoring u. When ur with them ur third- wheeling and u just want to leave atp. Leaving college now, I realised it was hopeless and I wouldn’t say I’m unfriendly in the slightest. Ppl I meet acknowledge that I’m easy to get on with etc.

Sometimes people are very insular, people in a group are comfortable with that group and don't want any 'outsiders' attaching themselves to that status quo for fear of the group breaking up or the group leader 'losing power'

This is probably nothing you've done or said it is probably the immature mindset of those within those groups.

Don't give up hope. When you get to Uni there are many many thousands of new students of all ages and backgrounds from all over the world looking to find others 'on their wave length' and that is a lot of leeway and a whole load of mindsets.

Hold your nerve, know what you know, be pleasant and outgoing, immerse yourself in every fresher activity session going during the formative few weeks at the start. Fingers crossed you will find your niche (or your perch) You will naturally gravitate to people who are on a similar wave length, and even if your own wave length is a rare and an unusual one I can guarantee eventually you will find a few more souls on campus who have the same frequency given the sheer number of people living there

😀
Reply 2
Original post by Muttly
Sometimes people are very insular, people in a group are comfortable with that group and don't want any 'outsiders' attaching themselves to that status quo for fear of the group breaking up or the group leader 'losing power'
This is probably nothing you've done or said it is probably the immature mindset of those within those groups.
Don't give up hope. When you get to Uni there are many many thousands of new students of all ages and backgrounds from all over the world looking to find others 'on their wave length' and that is a lot of leeway and a whole load of mindsets.
Hold your nerve, know what you know, be pleasant and outgoing, immerse yourself in every fresher activity session going during the formative few weeks at the start. Fingers crossed you will find your niche (or your perch) You will naturally gravitate to people who are on a similar wave length, and even if your own wave length is a rare and an unusual one I can guarantee eventually you will find a few more souls on campus who have the same frequency given the sheer number of people living there
😀


Thank you very much for the reassuring message, I really appreciate it. The problem is I had high hopes for college and now it’s crushed them. I don’t really have any hopes for uni because I already experienced this now and I just don’t know what to do. It’s like seeing other ppl in their friend groups and laughing and enjoying themselves makes me feel upset because I know I can’t experience that.

Quick Reply