ay so it’s recently just struck me that I genuinely have no friends. I have people to sit with at lunch and people that are nice and friendly to me but if I’m honest, I don’t enjoy their company and the only reason I hang out with them is so I don’t look like a complete loser.
Now back to my question.. I just want to be alone and undisturbed but at the same time, I don’t? I don’t like other people’s company but if I were to sit in the lunch hall on my own, people give you strange looks of pity and the looks they give you make you want to die and just punch yourself for being so lame. So that’s why I tend to eat with others even if I don’t necessarily talk to them. But I’ve just decided that I don’t want to be that odd one out in the group anymore. Nobody is outright mean to me or tells me to leave the lunch group but it’s quite obvious that I don’t belong with them. The library, has a no food policy, which is sad because it would be the ultimate place for me to go. Common rooms at my school have a lot of people there too, which is the opposite of what I want and classrooms are off limits so I’m completely stumped on where I could eat my lunch in peace, on my own, without any human interaction.