The Student Room Group

ignore.

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(edited 1 month ago)
Hiii, honestly what I think is that new people will definitely NOT know your status in school whatever, I think you should talk to them while you have the chance + make a good first impression!
It will defo not be their place to judge you for being ‘lonely’ bc they’re in a new environment.
If they act cocky n stuff then that wouldn’t be a good first impression of them to your school tbh
Choosing the least popular course is pretty useful in my opinion, you’d probably feel more concentrated in class (and if you have seating plans then make the most of it!)
I also suggest going to a club to make friends; whether it be outside of school or inside!! Interacting with people who share similar interests is fun
just be yourself and be kind to the new people you meet.
Original post by thesuperpaws
first off, apologies if this is in the wrong place or format, im completely new.
basically i have a question about making friends with new girls at school. i am nearing the end of gcses at the school i have been at for 5 years now. i plan to remain there for sixth form. problem is, the social structure is very rigid with everyone (particularly girls, and im female) being in groups. a few months ago i had a permanent fallout with the group i’d been in for years, for private reasons, and now i’ve tried unsuccessfully to join in with any others (there are only a small number of groups, and from only two that i actually like, i have been rejected).
there will be new people starting but im worried i will be judged by them for being alone and not in a group (they might wonder why i have no friends, if i’ve been a bully, no one likes me etc) and so might just join a group as it’s more secure and friendly and easy etc. another disadvantage is that our school offers 2 courses and i am choosing the least popular course with historically least popular subjects for girls (physics etc). also the majority of people are staying on with their friends anyway.
i have a taster day after my last exam in june where we meet the new people and our new forms (terrified for it). how do i make sure i can actually make some friends, find a group and not end up alone for 2 more years? thank you :smile:

i can really relate to you as i went to an all girls school where the social structure was extremely rigid + i joined late after everyone else, so i know the feeling of being stuck and not wanting to be lonely but not wanting to be unhappy either.
Groups are the WORST. It's so annoying when you fall out with a group because you have to complete the whole process again of becoming friends with people from another group, leaving your own group, and joining their group all over again, etc. My best advice is do what you know will make you happy in the long term, even if it means being lonely for the time being. At one point, i had to choose between staying in a toxic friendgroup or leaving and being alone, and i chose to be alone because i knew that i would find new friends eventually even if it meant drifting from people for a while.
So i suppose what i'm saying is that even if it means you feel lonely and horrible for a short amount of time, don't join another group where you know you will be unhappy in, trust me. Don't be fooled by the feeling of security and trust that comes from being in a group - you might find you're more unhappy being in one than being alone!
And take advantage of the fact that you're going into sixth form and mixing with new people! Chances are, most of these groups will eventually begin to break once new people join, so talk to the new people and they might be feeling more lonely than you. If they judge you for not being in a group when they join, then you'll know they're not the right friends for you. If you are really desperate, you can join a group for the time being, but do not be afraid to mix with the new people and remember that most people will probably be feeling nervous going in to sixth form with a whole new bunch of people as well.

And join clubs!!! They saved me during the period of time where i had left my group - you'll have something to do in the time being and you'll meet new people.

Hope this helps xx

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