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Erectile dysfunction help

I lose my erection whenver I'm inside my partner, meaning my penis comes out. It never feels securely in. Generic brand viagra/sildenafil helped a bit like getting me erect before I got in but it still doesn't really work.

I'm 21 years old, not overweight, don't smoke or do drugs etc, only medication i'm on is ritalin. And used to take antidepressants but no longer do.

Have always had this issue with all 3 women I've had sex with.

How do I fix this? If its psychological how is it fixed? I want a quick and easy fix so me and my partner can have enjoyable sex.

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Reply 1

Original post by Anonymous
I lose my erection whenver I'm inside my partner, meaning my penis comes out. It never feels securely in. Generic brand viagra/sildenafil helped a bit like getting me erect before I got in but it still doesn't really work.
I'm 21 years old, not overweight, don't smoke or do drugs etc, only medication i'm on is ritalin. And used to take antidepressants but no longer do.
Have always had this issue with all 3 women I've had sex with.
How do I fix this? If its psychological how is it fixed? I want a quick and easy fix so me and my partner can have enjoyable sex.

Infact it seems that Ritalin can have opposite of the described affect. Maybe ask Doctor.

https://www.fda.gov/drugs/drug-safety-and-availability/fda-drug-safety-communication-fda-warns-rare-risk-long-lasting-erections-males-taking

Also, I suggest Hypnotherapy as there are some Hypnotherapists who say can "cure" erectile dysfunction, by basically relaxing you and other things to help.

Reply 2

Yesterday she said for the first time she was worried that it was her fault I wasn't maintaining an erection, which I reassured her it absolutely was not. When I asked whether she was more upset about thinking it was her fault, or more upset about her not having good sex, she said the latter. I said if its anxiety based which she thinks it is, it might take time to sort out. She said she didn't want it to take too long, and that she hadn't had long sex in a while.

I was really hurt by this I know she was vocalising what I suspected but I am more upset about this situation than she most likely realises. It's made me question my masculinity and makes me feel weak and its embarassing. I love her but its just upset me that shes thinking of a time limit on this, as if our relationship is dependent on the quality of sex. She has upset me with certain actions/behaviour , but I don't mention them because I try and see the bigger picture and remember why I love her.

I think I would be more devastated not about potentially breaking up, but potentially breaking up because of this issue. I am trying to solve it. I went to the doctors and am having blood tests done.

I honestly don't know how to solve it if its anxiety or psychologically based as I was pretty ****ed up in my late teens with mental health issues and a couple of years on antidepressants. Both my previous sexual encounters resulted in which I failed to maintain an erection to penetrate (though in my girlfriend's case i do have one to actually get in, its just it doesn't stay in), resulted in me being chucked out of the room and blocked.

There are sex positions I want to try but my girlfriend prefers missionary which is fine but I have other ideas. I don't feel our sex is very sexy to begin with, partly because the tablets mean it has to be planned.
I'm hurt and unsure of what to do

Reply 3

Original post by Anonymous
I lose my erection whenver I'm inside my partner, meaning my penis comes out. It never feels securely in. Generic brand viagra/sildenafil helped a bit like getting me erect before I got in but it still doesn't really work.
I'm 21 years old, not overweight, don't smoke or do drugs etc, only medication i'm on is ritalin. And used to take antidepressants but no longer do.
Have always had this issue with all 3 women I've had sex with.
How do I fix this? If its psychological how is it fixed? I want a quick and easy fix so me and my partner can have enjoyable sex.

Do you have this issue with other forms of sex or just with intercourse?

Reply 4

Original post by ageshallnot
Do you have this issue with other forms of sex or just with intercourse?

Just penetration

Reply 5

Original post by Anonymous
Just penetration

That suggests to me that it's a psychological issue not a physical one, which is probably why the sildenafil wasn't much help.

Do you think that the other positions would be better for you?

Reply 6

Original post by ageshallnot
That suggests to me that it's a psychological issue not a physical one, which is probably why the sildenafil wasn't much help.
Do you think that the other positions would be better for you?

Maybe. I don't know
iot probably is psychological but what can i do to solve that? as that takes time and my girlfriend might not be willing to wait

Reply 7

Original post by Anonymous
Maybe. I don't know
iot probably is psychological but what can i do to solve that? as that takes time and my girlfriend might not be willing to wait

Is it that missionary is a massive turn off? Do other forms of sex excite you more? Why won't your gf try other positions?

If it's psychological you should get professional help.

Reply 8

Original post by ageshallnot
Is it that missionary is a massive turn off? Do other forms of sex excite you more? Why won't your gf try other positions?
If it's psychological you should get professional help.

doggy yes but she said she struggled with it when she did it before.
yes but that takes time, money, and no guaranteed fix. i don't even know where to start. i don't want to lose her and i don't want to put my life on hold

Reply 9

Original post by Anonymous
I lose my erection whenver I'm inside my partner, meaning my penis comes out. It never feels securely in. Generic brand viagra/sildenafil helped a bit like getting me erect before I got in but it still doesn't really work.
I'm 21 years old, not overweight, don't smoke or do drugs etc, only medication i'm on is ritalin. And used to take antidepressants but no longer do.
Have always had this issue with all 3 women I've had sex with.
How do I fix this? If its psychological how is it fixed? I want a quick and easy fix so me and my partner can have enjoyable sex.


Book a GP appointment

Reply 10

Original post by Anonymous
doggy yes but she said she struggled with it when she did it before.
yes but that takes time, money, and no guaranteed fix. i don't even know where to start. i don't want to lose her and i don't want to put my life on hold

Well, sex can be about compromise. If she won't try it once with you then that's pretty poor.

As above, start with your GP.

Reply 11

I have. I'm getting tested for testosterone levels and cholesterol and general blood things.
Honestly I'm pretty down about the whole thing right now

Reply 12

Original post by Anonymous
I have. I'm getting tested for testosterone levels and cholesterol and general blood things.
Honestly I'm pretty down about the whole thing right now

I'm not surprised.

(Fwiw I find missionary an appalling position.)

Reply 13

Original post by ageshallnot
I'm not surprised.
(Fwiw I find missionary an appalling position.)

She's on top which is better than me but it just does nothing for me. Every time when I visualise sex its doggy or whatever

Reply 14

Original post by Anonymous
She's on top which is better than me but it just does nothing for me. Every time when I visualise sex its doggy or whatever

Slightly confused by your first sentence.

Reply 15

when we do missionary, she's on top of me, which is better than me being on top of her, but it doesn't actually turn me on that much being in that position

Reply 16

This is like reading p*rn

Reply 17

Original post by Anonymous
This is like reading p*rn

don't read it if you don't like it.

Reply 18

Original post by Anonymous
don't read it if you don't like it.


Didn’t say I don’t like it

Reply 19

Original post by Anonymous
Yesterday she said for the first time she was worried that it was her fault I wasn't maintaining an erection, which I reassured her it absolutely was not. When I asked whether she was more upset about thinking it was her fault, or more upset about her not having good sex, she said the latter. I said if its anxiety based which she thinks it is, it might take time to sort out. She said she didn't want it to take too long, and that she hadn't had long sex in a while.
I was really hurt by this I know she was vocalising what I suspected but I am more upset about this situation than she most likely realises. It's made me question my masculinity and makes me feel weak and its embarassing. I love her but its just upset me that shes thinking of a time limit on this, as if our relationship is dependent on the quality of sex. She has upset me with certain actions/behaviour , but I don't mention them because I try and see the bigger picture and remember why I love her.
I think I would be more devastated not about potentially breaking up, but potentially breaking up because of this issue. I am trying to solve it. I went to the doctors and am having blood tests done.
I honestly don't know how to solve it if its anxiety or psychologically based as I was pretty ****ed up in my late teens with mental health issues and a couple of years on antidepressants. Both my previous sexual encounters resulted in which I failed to maintain an erection to penetrate (though in my girlfriend's case i do have one to actually get in, its just it doesn't stay in), resulted in me being chucked out of the room and blocked.
There are sex positions I want to try but my girlfriend prefers missionary which is fine but I have other ideas. I don't feel our sex is very sexy to begin with, partly because the tablets mean it has to be planned.
I'm hurt and unsure of what to do

I would say it is almost Certain that Stress and Anxiety is the Cause. Trouble is that is compounded as you then
probably get more stressed each time you dont succeed. As I say, visit a good Hypnotherapist ,be well worth the £70 or so for a hour.

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