What do guys like in a girl?

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HELLL NAAA WHO TOLD U THAT idm a chubby girl , nor do i care abt the other 2 things , shes js gotta be herself and kind caring and respectful and LOYAL

No, I didn't say you were. I'm just saying the guys in my school have horrible taste.

Reply 21

Meheraj

Original post by NonIndigenous

I'm flexible provided she meets certain minimum criteria:

No drugs, or other addictions

No credit card debt, and generally acts with good financial sense

Little/no history of 'situationships', dating multiple/lots of people, sleeping around, 'bad boys', etc. Among other reasons, I also can't be f-ed to deal with the trauma.

Looks after her health. Eats right & exercises. Not obsessive about it, just normal.

Has healthy ambitions (not greedy/entitled).

Has nice friends and/or nice family. The sort of company you keep, is a reflection of your choices. I take a dim view if her friends are crappy, and often people surround themselves with others who are like-minded. Thus if her friends appear significantly different from her and also don't meet the same criteria on this list, it's probably because she's holding back something and not being truthful with me. I don't like that. I've seen it several times already. Nope. By contrast, most of my friends tick most of the items on this list.

I think provided those criteria are met, we can probably work something out. It's not usually not actually a big deal if they fall short on one or two points (depends which though). Drugs are a hard no & I bomb those people out of my life.

Respect, mate! I want these characteristics too.

Reply 22

Anonymous #4

Original post by Anonymous

No, I didn't say you were. I'm just saying the guys in my school have horrible taste.

ohhh lmao mbmb

Reply 23

Anonymous #5

hi i’m so confused idk how to use this thing. i’m just joining in random convos don’t mind me

Reply 24

Anonymous #6

Original post by NonIndigenous

I'm flexible provided she meets certain minimum criteria:

No drugs, or other addictions

No credit card debt, and generally acts with good financial sense

Little/no history of 'situationships', dating multiple/lots of people, sleeping around, 'bad boys', etc. Among other reasons, I also can't be f-ed to deal with the trauma.

Looks after her health. Eats right & exercises. Not obsessive about it, just normal.

Has healthy ambitions (not greedy/entitled).

what about weed?

Reply 25

NonIndigenous

Original post by Anonymous

I think everyone has at least one of these "sins".

I don't, and I know a handful of people who don't either. There aren't many though. I've fallen short on point 6 in the past, and there is nothing I can do about my family being what they are. I just keep them at a distance that I feel comfortable with.

My priorities have changed actually. All them are important, but point 3 is now number 1. If she has history of sleeping around, open relationships, 'situantionships' or other bs, it better be at least 3 years in the past. I want to see proof that she is capable today of being confidently and authentically single, aka not using people for validation or to fill a void. Either that, or has been in a stable and reasonably healthy relationship those past 3 years.

I understand that people can change, with effort. But it takes time.

I'm not dealing with anyone's silly emotional rollercoasters. They can go do it elsewhere until they numb themselves dry, instead of sh*tting where I eat. That's fine, I don't care then.

(edited 1 week ago)

Reply 26

Anonymous #3

Original post by NonIndigenous

I don't, and I know a handful of people who don't either. There aren't many though. I've fallen short on point 6 in the past, and there is nothing I can do about my family being what they are. I just keep them at a distance that I feel comfortable with.
My priorities have changed actually. All them are important, but point 3 is now number 1. If she has history of sleeping around, open relationships, 'situantionships' or other bs, it better be at least 3 years in the past. I want to see proof that she is capable today of being confidently and authentically single, aka not using people for validation or to fill a void. Either that, or has been in a stable and reasonably healthy relationship those past 3 years.
I understand that people can change, with effort. But it takes time.
I'm not dealing with anyone's silly emotional rollercoasters. They can go do it elsewhere until they numb themselves dry, instead of sh*tting where I eat. That's fine, I don't care then.

You seem like a very well adjusted individual with a very normal world view. I hope things work out for you :smile:

Reply 27

NonIndigenous

Original post by Anonymous

You seem like a very well adjusted individual with a very normal world view. I hope things work out for you :smile:

I try...

And thanks. I wasn't always this way. It took a lot work. I used to get into some very heated arguments, even rows, with some people about these some of these things. There even are traces of it on this forum.

I am not prepared to compromise on my values or boundaries. I still have my issues. I've just compartmentalised them out of peoples' sight. Those are my problems to deal with in my own time. People who challenge those boundaries, often quickly realise why they shouldn't once I give them a glimpse of what is on the other side. Nothing dramatic. Just a change in my facial expression does the job.

Our culture, civilisation even, constructed a set of social codes for us all to live by. "10 commandments" are a good example that most people have heard of. These codes evolved over centuries and were designed to curtail our worst impulses towards one another, for our own collective and mutual good. Unfortunately, some people will never understand that... and think that it's all just a joke, or nonsense made up by dead men with grey beards. Today's culture unfortunately is increasingly promoting nihilism instead, that goes hand-in-hand with numerous self-destructive lifestyle choices (such as drugs, meaningless hookups, financial recklessness, cheating, lying, etc.). It is part of the reason we have falling birth rates. It is part of the reason we have a cost of living crisis. It's a little complex why - I won't write an essay on it now.

I just don't want those kinds of attitudes near me in my personal life. I can only handle very limited doses of it before I start getting aggravated, and it shows.