Can my parents forcefully take me back to my home country legally?

Hello,
I am an 18 year old Middle Eastern girl, I am just finishing off my A level exams this June. Recently my parents especially my mum have been mentioning taking me back home permanently and take me out of the UK or getting married by the end of next year when they have their passports ready to leave. I of course refused and said I am too young to get married and don’t wanna go back home because I have already applied to unis and got offers and wanna get my degree. They’re threatening me by saying they will forcefully take me out of the country if I am not married by then, I am getting really concerned and hopeless, I don’t wanna lose my mum couldn’t care less about my dad but I also don’t wanna leave my education and everything behind here and be miserable back home as I know how women are treated there. Does anyone have any tips? If they do end up making me go back is there anyway I could get back to the UK?

Reply 1

shamsi499

3

your where in the middle east?

Reply 2

Anonymous #1

OP

Original post by shamsi499

your where in the middle east?

I am from there but I moved to the Uk when I was 10

Reply 3

ageshallnot

21

Original post by Anonymous

Hello,
I am an 18 year old Middle Eastern girl, I am just finishing off my A level exams this June. Recently my parents especially my mum have been mentioning taking me back home permanently and take me out of the UK or getting married by the end of next year when they have their passports ready to leave. I of course refused and said I am too young to get married and don’t wanna go back home because I have already applied to unis and got offers and wanna get my degree. They’re threatening me by saying they will forcefully take me out of the country if I am not married by then, I am getting really concerned and hopeless, I don’t wanna lose my mum couldn’t care less about my dad but I also don’t wanna leave my education and everything behind here and be miserable back home as I know how women are treated there. Does anyone have any tips? If they do end up making me go back is there anyway I could get back to the UK?

Once you're 18 it would be illegal to force you to do so against your will.

Reply 4

shamsi499

3

look your parents want the best for you (even though they shouldn't force you to do something you don't want)

just talk to them AFTER you become 18 tell them this:
I want the best for my family and I want to study so I can have a well-paying job to support you (your mum) and tell her you will think about marriage after graduation from uni

Reply 5

Raspbearry

10

Original post by shamsi499

look your parents want the best for you (even though they shouldn't force you to do something you don't want)
just talk to them AFTER you become 18 tell them this:
I want the best for my family and I want to study so I can have a well-paying job to support you (your mum) and tell her you will think about marriage after graduation from uni

I would not say parents always want what is best for their children, or rather their idea of "what is best" is based on their own cultural predisposition. I am supposing marrying off young is for giving a women (and by extension- her family) stability in a culture where women often don't have the opportunity for independence. In this instance, OP appears to be already pursuing some level of independence as she is pursuing education.

Legally, your parents cannot take you where you don't want as you are now 18 but that is not to say they can't make you. If you haven't already, have a proper discussion about this. As the commenter said it may be that they wants what is best but are not aware that women can be perfectly independent in the UK and that you will be fine here. If they do not understand, I would highly recommend establishing your own stability and independence as best as you can so that you will not have to rely on their whims. Not saying you have to cut them out, but rather put yourself in a position where they can't make you do anything.

I hope that even when you stand your ground your family will support you or at least not turn their back on you but your wellfare should be your biggest priority. I wish you the best.

Reply 6

Surnia

Life & Style Forum Helper

20

There's information here; you can get help to stop this happening:

https://www.gov.uk/stop-forced-marriage

Reply 7

Compyjo

10

There are a number of support organisations including charities who can help you.

https://www.met.police.uk/advice/advice-and-information/forced-marriage/forced-marriage-support-organisations/

https://www.hematgryffe.org.uk/

Reply 8

Stiffy Byng

19

This organisation could also help

https://southallblacksisters.org.uk/

Reply 9

Anonymous #2

Do you have any other family here in the UK you can talk to? Perhaps they may be able to help convince your parents.

I’m from a similar background so I’m going to assume you’re also Muslim. I really suggest talking to your parents and explaining to them that forcing you to marry someone or withholding you from education against your will is haram. They’re prioritising culture over religion which is prohibited especially since you aren’t consenting. If that doesn’t change their mind then worst case scenario you should seek legal help. Putting culture above the law of the land they live in as well as religion is extremely wrong. I hope things go well for you ❤️

Reply 10

Anonymous #3

Original post by Anonymous

Hello,
I am an 18 year old Middle Eastern girl, I am just finishing off my A level exams this June. Recently my parents especially my mum have been mentioning taking me back home permanently and take me out of the UK or getting married by the end of next year when they have their passports ready to leave. I of course refused and said I am too young to get married and don’t wanna go back home because I have already applied to unis and got offers and wanna get my degree. They’re threatening me by saying they will forcefully take me out of the country if I am not married by then, I am getting really concerned and hopeless, I don’t wanna lose my mum couldn’t care less about my dad but I also don’t wanna leave my education and everything behind here and be miserable back home as I know how women are treated there. Does anyone have any tips? If they do end up making me go back is there anyway I could get back to the UK?

Hi. I’m so sorry to hear about your situation. I am Arab too and I understand your situation. Assuming you’re Muslim, you could convince them that your education is more important by taking them/ making them watch Islamic talks about the importance of education, as it is consistently mentioned in the Quran and several hadiths. You could also consider going to unis closer to your house/hometown as the idea of going away for uni , as girl, does not sit right with many Middle Eastern parents. If you can’t do anything to convince them, depending on where they are taking you back, you could always explore education opportunities there, but obviously this is a last resort as the unis for women in the Middle East are limited. You could talk to a family member and try to convince them to talk to your parents. Sorry for the lengthy post, just trying to help out ✨

Reply 11

Anonymous #4

Original post by Anonymous

I am from there but I moved to the Uk when I was 10

So you are fluent in 2-3 languages. I hope it all works out for you. Are there any relatives Who would support you

Can my parents forcefully take me back to my home country legally?

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