The Student Room Group

Traumatic experiences with immature students at university

I am in my 2nd year of university. Far from my expectation that people would be mature, most people I met during my time turned out to be the exact opposite. A few of those have said or done some absolutely hideous things which I still cannot get over.
In my first year, there was a girl who lived in the same corridor as me who disturbed me enormously with the various things she said and did. She would actually write pornographic scenarios about people in the corridor (most of them targeting me) and in general because of what she was saying was creepy and disgusting.
She was friends with another girl who kept making extremely offensive and explicit remarks in my direction (and then was saying I had no social skill) and had an issue with near-nonstop swearing as well.
This year, however, I met someone of absolutely unparalleled depravity. This person is just gross- one time, she was trying to convince a group of people that an Egyptian obelisk points up because the male reproductive organ points up. Later, this escalated into (I suspect, intentionally) ruining my sleep by stomping right above my room and being loud in the kitchen, which caused horrific insomnia which I still cannot get over, because I was afraid of sleeping and ended up taking 2 exams in a sleep-deprived state because of her (which I feel went shockingly well considering how I felt)
Is this behaviour common at university? These people are now 20 and 21, I am 22. I keep on encountering-and getting traumatised by- such people, no matter to what accommodation I move. Maybe I expected too much because of the behaviour of a mature 30-year old PhD student I am friends with.

Reply 1

They are kids still. Why anyone thinks that age group is mature boggles my mind. One's definition of adult and its relation to age is clearly wrong.

Reply 2

Original post by Anonymous
I am in my 2nd year of university. Far from my expectation that people would be mature, most people I met during my time turned out to be the exact opposite. A few of those have said or done some absolutely hideous things which I still cannot get over.
In my first year, there was a girl who lived in the same corridor as me who disturbed me enormously with the various things she said and did. She would actually write pornographic scenarios about people in the corridor (most of them targeting me) and in general because of what she was saying was creepy and disgusting.
She was friends with another girl who kept making extremely offensive and explicit remarks in my direction (and then was saying I had no social skill) and had an issue with near-nonstop swearing as well.
This year, however, I met someone of absolutely unparalleled depravity. This person is just gross- one time, she was trying to convince a group of people that an Egyptian obelisk points up because the male reproductive organ points up. Later, this escalated into (I suspect, intentionally) ruining my sleep by stomping right above my room and being loud in the kitchen, which caused horrific insomnia which I still cannot get over, because I was afraid of sleeping and ended up taking 2 exams in a sleep-deprived state because of her (which I feel went shockingly well considering how I felt)
Is this behaviour common at university? These people are now 20 and 21, I am 22. I keep on encountering-and getting traumatised by- such people, no matter to what accommodation I move. Maybe I expected too much because of the behaviour of a mature 30-year old PhD student I am friends with.

That's hardly "unparalleled depravity"!

Reply 3

Original post by Anonymous
I am in my 2nd year of university. Far from my expectation that people would be mature, most people I met during my time turned out to be the exact opposite. A few of those have said or done some absolutely hideous things which I still cannot get over.
In my first year, there was a girl who lived in the same corridor as me who disturbed me enormously with the various things she said and did. She would actually write pornographic scenarios about people in the corridor (most of them targeting me) and in general because of what she was saying was creepy and disgusting.
She was friends with another girl who kept making extremely offensive and explicit remarks in my direction (and then was saying I had no social skill) and had an issue with near-nonstop swearing as well.
This year, however, I met someone of absolutely unparalleled depravity. This person is just gross- one time, she was trying to convince a group of people that an Egyptian obelisk points up because the male reproductive organ points up. Later, this escalated into (I suspect, intentionally) ruining my sleep by stomping right above my room and being loud in the kitchen, which caused horrific insomnia which I still cannot get over, because I was afraid of sleeping and ended up taking 2 exams in a sleep-deprived state because of her (which I feel went shockingly well considering how I felt)
Is this behaviour common at university? These people are now 20 and 21, I am 22. I keep on encountering-and getting traumatised by- such people, no matter to what accommodation I move. Maybe I expected too much because of the behaviour of a mature 30-year old PhD student I am friends with.

That’s insane.

Reply 4

I'm in my early 50's, a graduate, a mature student, employee, and a parent of three daughters, two of which are at university. Over the years I have come to understand that maturity isn't defined by a number but by your behaviour, attitude to others and the degree with which you know and are comfortable with yourself. When you leave home it's both exciting and scary. At 18 years old and out of parental control, some teenagers literally revel in their new found freedom, rampant, while others are petrified, seeing this extreme antisocial behaviour can be distressing and confusing. Everybody is sussing everyone out, hormones, drink etc,etc. I always marvelled at those who seemed secure in what they wanted to do/be, seemed so sure of themselves.
My eldest daughter took a couple of years out before starting her degree and it really did help in her approach to her studies and student living. She did get very frustrated some of her course mates when they didn't show up for group work or when her younger flatmates lacked consideration in tidying, cleaning, noise etc. Being upset about it shows you are a caring individual with a certain set of values that make their behaviour alien. My daughter has emerged a sweeter more considerate human being with some lovely friends. Universities don't just teach you a subject, they are great preparation for life and the challenges and characters you meet in the workplace and beyond. Just stick to your values, don't be afraid to say when somebody's behaviour causes you offence. My mother said to me when I left home, just be kind, don't judge and be a friend. Good luck!😊

Reply 5

Normal I'm afraid. My uni was a total joke and at least half the people there would have been better off doing an apprenticeship or finding a basic job. They weren't remotely intelligent and regarded uni as a non-stop party or holiday, many were on drugs a lot of the time thinking they were cool rock stars or movie stars or something. For a lot of people uni was just about partying, going to raves and clubbing, and trying to get laid and really nothing else. Most seemed more interested in bands, instagram and the latest trainers from adidas than studying. There were people who rarely turned up to classes and just copied essays from other people and somehow passed, which wasn't that difficult as the professors told us all the exam questions in advance. There was a snobby competitive atmosphere with rich kids from posh families looking down on everyone else and making sarcastic comments about people's accents. Even now, there are people I would love to throw a pint of beer over if I see them again. And this, apparently was a top 10 Russel Group institution. It was dreadful really.

Reply 6

Original post by Anonymous
Normal I'm afraid. My uni was a total joke and at least half the people there would have been better off doing an apprenticeship or finding a basic job. They weren't remotely intelligent and regarded uni as a non-stop party or holiday, many were on drugs a lot of the time thinking they were cool rock stars or movie stars or something. For a lot of people uni was just about partying, going to raves and clubbing, and trying to get laid and really nothing else. Most seemed more interested in bands, instagram and the latest trainers from adidas than studying. There were people who rarely turned up to classes and just copied essays from other people and somehow passed, which wasn't that difficult as the professors told us all the exam questions in advance. There was a snobby competitive atmosphere with rich kids from posh families looking down on everyone else and making sarcastic comments about people's accents. Even now, there are people I would love to throw a pint of beer over if I see them again. And this, apparently was a top 10 Russel Group institution. It was dreadful really.

what uni?

Reply 7

Original post by Anonymous
I am in my 2nd year of university. Far from my expectation that people would be mature, most people I met during my time turned out to be the exact opposite. A few of those have said or done some absolutely hideous things which I still cannot get over.
In my first year, there was a girl who lived in the same corridor as me who disturbed me enormously with the various things she said and did. She would actually write pornographic scenarios about people in the corridor (most of them targeting me) and in general because of what she was saying was creepy and disgusting.
She was friends with another girl who kept making extremely offensive and explicit remarks in my direction (and then was saying I had no social skill) and had an issue with near-nonstop swearing as well.
This year, however, I met someone of absolutely unparalleled depravity. This person is just gross- one time, she was trying to convince a group of people that an Egyptian obelisk points up because the male reproductive organ points up. Later, this escalated into (I suspect, intentionally) ruining my sleep by stomping right above my room and being loud in the kitchen, which caused horrific insomnia which I still cannot get over, because I was afraid of sleeping and ended up taking 2 exams in a sleep-deprived state because of her (which I feel went shockingly well considering how I felt)
Is this behaviour common at university? These people are now 20 and 21, I am 22. I keep on encountering-and getting traumatised by- such people, no matter to what accommodation I move. Maybe I expected too much because of the behaviour of a mature 30-year old PhD student I am friends with.

I understand you totally. I thought the same like this is not high school anymore but people are just the same , forming groups , being childish, etc. The good news is that not everyone is like that and sometimes you just need to take yourself out of that environment. Maybe you could have changed halls ? I remember when I was in halls , I requested a new room on the other side of the building and they said sure . Ofc like we can all have a laugh and a joke and chill but you would think that people at uni would not behave like year 9. Best advice , remove yourself from that group of people. Sometimes we tolerate things we don't need to.

Reply 8

Original post by ageshallnot
That's hardly "unparalleled depravity"!

Maybe not to you

Reply 9

Original post by random_matt
They are kids still. Why anyone thinks that age group is mature boggles my mind. One's definition of adult and its relation to age is clearly wrong.

No , they are young adults . Kids are in highschool.

Reply 10

Original post by Luckylionxs
Maybe not to you

Nor to anyone with much life experience, imo.

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