Uni Flatmate

Just want to know how do you social with flatmate?
Sitting and chatting in the kitchen for a whole day or just spend time together at night?

I am a quiet person and don't like spending too much time to social, not sure if it is weird. I think I will live with my friends this Sep if we can get into the same Uni and I don't know what they will think if I not spending the whole day with them during holidays.

Reply 1

CardiffUni Rep 2

Official Rep

Original post by Anonymous

Just want to know how do you social with flatmate?
Sitting and chatting in the kitchen for a whole day or just spend time together at night?
I am a quiet person and don't like spending too much time to social, not sure if it is weird. I think I will live with my friends this Sep if we can get into the same Uni and I don't know what they will think if I not spending the whole day with them during holidays.

Its not always sitting and chatting with them the whole day! I found that I often interact with my flatmates when we're all cooking in the kitchen, for breakfast lunch or dinner. I find that it's helpful to at first eat my food in the kitchen, as this allows me to socialise with my flatmates 🙂 I don't think there is any expectation for you to spend all your time with your flatmates! Since you might be taking different courses, or have different interests.

Sometimes I'd like to invite my flatmates to interesting events at the start of the year, such as Freshers Fair, or if the student union is holding events like movie nights etc. They tend to be quite fun!

~ Fatiha, Cardiff University Student Rep

Reply 2

Kingston Reps

Official Rep

Original post by Anonymous

Just want to know how do you social with flatmate?
Sitting and chatting in the kitchen for a whole day or just spend time together at night?
I am a quiet person and don't like spending too much time to social, not sure if it is weird. I think I will live with my friends this Sep if we can get into the same Uni and I don't know what they will think if I not spending the whole day with them during holidays.

Hi!

First off, it's completely understandable to want some time to yourself whilst living with others, so try not to feel any obligation to spend your holiday periods solely interacting with your flatmates. After all, they might have their own plans for the day, or want to do something that doesn't necessarily interest you - and that's perfectly okay! Lots of students are naturally introverted, and I can assure you that your flatmates won't think it's weird that you don't want to socialise constantly. 🙂

When you do want to hang out, consider inviting them to activites that you think might interest you both/all - for example, if there's a new film you might want to see, or a series you've talked about watching on Neftlix. Remember that not every activity has to involve going out; you guys could bake something together, or host a flat dinner party.

Hope this has helped you a bit, and best of luck with starting unversity!
Eve (Kingston Rep).

(edited 1 year ago)

Reply 3

BCU Student Rep

Official Rep

Original post by Anonymous

Just want to know how do you social with flatmate?
Sitting and chatting in the kitchen for a whole day or just spend time together at night?
I am a quiet person and don't like spending too much time to social, not sure if it is weird. I think I will live with my friends this Sep if we can get into the same Uni and I don't know what they will think if I not spending the whole day with them during holidays.

Hi Anon,

There are tons of ways to socialise with your flatmates aside from chatting in the kitchen. It might be difficult to find things to do or to approach them in the beginning. I remember in my first year, I would go out to the kitchen whenever I heard someone and just to do my own thing (like make a coffee or lunch). Although we weren't cooking together and socialising in that way, it gave us the opportunity to start conversation and get to know each other.

As time escalates your friendship circles may overlap and you could hang out with your flatmates outside of your flat. Getting groceries together is a canon event that would surely bring you guys closer together. Hosting dinners or pre's are a great idea too.

Hope this helps,
Danish
BCU Student Rep

Reply 4

hallamstudents

Official Rep

Original post by Anonymous

Just want to know how do you social with flatmate?
Sitting and chatting in the kitchen for a whole day or just spend time together at night?
I am a quiet person and don't like spending too much time to social, not sure if it is weird. I think I will live with my friends this Sep if we can get into the same Uni and I don't know what they will think if I not spending the whole day with them during holidays.

Hi there,

It really depends on each flat and how everyone is but it is very unlikely that people will be spending all day every day together! Most people tend to do their own thing sometimes or at least for some of the day, even if you are in a flat with people that like to do things with others a lot. In my first year flat, we spent a lot of time together in the evenings and on the weekend but during the day on weekdays we all just did our own thing as everyone was at uni at different times which is likely to happen to you too.

There's nothing wrong with spending time on your own and wanting to go to your room for a bit to chill out, it's your flat and if that's what you do at home and that's what you want to do then do it! Nobody will think it is odd so don't worry. Even really extroverted people need time on their own too sometimes so it's likely that your new flatmates will want time to themselves too.

I agree with the others that have commented that when you first get to uni and your new flat it is a good idea to spend time in the kitchen and eat your meals there rather than in your room as this way you will get to know your flatmates more and it's just a good idea to try and be social in this time!

Also, it is good to try and do things with your flatmates that aren't just sitting in the flat. Try and go to the freshers fair together or ask if anyone wants to go to town together and explore! It's likely that they will and this way you are getting out of the house and doing something fun rather than just staying in which can get boring.

I hope some of this helps,

Lucy -SHU student ambassador :smile:

Reply 5

University of Huddersfield

Official Rep

Original post by Anonymous

Just want to know how do you social with flatmate?
Sitting and chatting in the kitchen for a whole day or just spend time together at night?
I am a quiet person and don't like spending too much time to social, not sure if it is weird. I think I will live with my friends this Sep if we can get into the same Uni and I don't know what they will think if I not spending the whole day with them during holidays.

Anon,

Try not to put too much pressure on yourself but try to make the most of opportunities to invite your flatmates to hang out with you. For e.g. you might have a car at uni and instead of just going to do your own supermarket shopping, you might ask if anyone wants to come. It may be that you are into baking and so you might ask if anyone wants to help you with a new recipe you want to try out or to make a favourite of yours. If you share some of the same hobbies, it might also look like joining a society together.

You don’t have to spend all your time with your housemates, but if you can create an environment where you can knock on a housemate’s door if you need to borrow something, or can have a good chat if you’ve had a bad day, or you feel free to hang out sometimes in the kitchen together, then that’s good. It’s not healthy to spend all your time in your room! The most important thing is that you have a good relationship with your housemates as you’ll be sharing the same space for a year.

All the best,

Oluwatosin – 3rd year student – University of Huddersfield

Reply 6

UCLan Ambassador

Official Rep

Original post by Anonymous

Just want to know how do you social with flatmate?
Sitting and chatting in the kitchen for a whole day or just spend time together at night?
I am a quiet person and don't like spending too much time to social, not sure if it is weird. I think I will live with my friends this Sep if we can get into the same Uni and I don't know what they will think if I not spending the whole day with them during holidays.

Hi there,

I relate to you on this one as I am a quiet person too and enjoy having my own space. Socialising with flatmates comes organically even if it’s small chats whilst you make a cup of tea for example which may lead to doing a food shop together. Who knows they might love the same genre of films or have a similar hobby which you could then implement into your friendship.

University can become a busy time so wanting time to yourself is understandable so don’t feel the pressure that you will have to spend all your time with them.

I hope this helps 😊

Zac - Final year Fashion promotion and marketing student

Reply 7

ARUStudents

Official Rep

Original post by Anonymous

Just want to know how do you social with flatmate?
Sitting and chatting in the kitchen for a whole day or just spend time together at night?
I am a quiet person and don't like spending too much time to social, not sure if it is weird. I think I will live with my friends this Sep if we can get into the same Uni and I don't know what they will think if I not spending the whole day with them during holidays.

Hiya,

I wouldn’t worry about being ‘weird’. It’s not weird to enjoy your own space and prefer that over socialising. Lots of people love their own company more than spending time with others. If you are worried, you can always explain to your flat mates that you’re not a big socialiser. I’m sure they’ll be understanding and won’t judge you for it!

Just socialise in the house when it feels right for you. Sometimes you might catch up with someone in the kitchen as you pass each other, or maybe at times you’ll choose to sit with them when they’re together. Either way, do what’s best for you and don’t worry about what other people think.

As long as you’re happy and comfortable that’s what’s important🙂

Good luck!

Sophie (ARU)

Reply 8

Uni of Southampton Students

Official Rep

Original post by Anonymous

Just want to know how do you social with flatmate?
Sitting and chatting in the kitchen for a whole day or just spend time together at night?
I am a quiet person and don't like spending too much time to social, not sure if it is weird. I think I will live with my friends this Sep if we can get into the same Uni and I don't know what they will think if I not spending the whole day with them during holidays.

Hi there,

I totally understand how you feel and where you are coming from. I remember when I moved into my flat at the University of Southampton, I felt extremely anxious about socialising with my flatmates.

Initially, I remember spending more time in the kitchen and the common room during evenings and dinner time. This helped me to get to know my flatmates without feeling overwhelmed. I sometimes also invited them to go to events and activities taking place on the campus with me, especially during the freshers week. I didn't spend the whole day with them, as everyone was busy with their own schedules. When we were free during the evening, we would sometimes play games or go grocery shopping together(which I think is a great way to bond with your flatmates). During Holidays, we would sometimes spend more time together, maybe go out for a meal or watch a movie. However, I'd spend enough time alone aswell, doing university work or simply relaxing. I think it is always okay to just say that you're going to your room to relax or work for sometime.

It is important to find the right balance between socialising with your flatmates and enjoying your alone time. Socialising is more often about quality rather than quantity. As long as you communicate well with them and go to some group events, you will be able to develop a good friendship with your flatmates.

I hope this helps, and all the best!

If you have any further questions or need more advice, please feel free to ask and I will get back to you as soon as possible.

Thank you,
Akshita Gupta
(University of Southampton Student Rep)