Upset after University interview

2

I was delighted to be invited for an online interview by my dream Uni for a master’s program i am really excited about pursuing, to my dismay the interview went really horribly. For reference i am on the spectrum with social anxiety and i don’t do well in speaking in groups. First part involved speaking in a group session meeting student ambassadors
It was hard for me to articulate my thoughts well, losing my ability to find words at times when i do force myself to participate. And for the 1:1 interview part i stuttered so bad the interviewer laughed after i tried blaming it on the internet 😅 i went back to the “group” zoom room cause we were told to get back there after the interview but apparently i didn’t have to as the student ambassadors seemed annoyed that i was there and even said “ugh” loudly when i unmuted to thank them and leave the room, it seemed like i did give very awkward and off putting vibes for that to happen. I just want to vent here, i am extremely devastated that i likely ruined my chance to get in, i kept crying all day yesterday after the interview. Still stuck in my head and i feel hopeless

Reply 1

hotpud

18

Original post

by Lilal555

I was delighted to be invited for an online interview by my dream Uni for a master’s program i am really excited about pursuing, to my dismay the interview went really horribly. For reference i am on the spectrum with social anxiety and i don’t do well in speaking in groups. First part involved speaking in a group session meeting student ambassadors
It was hard for me to articulate my thoughts well, losing my ability to find words at times when i do force myself to participate. And for the 1:1 interview part i stuttered so bad the interviewer laughed after i tried blaming it on the internet 😅 i went back to the “group” zoom room cause we were told to get back there after the interview but apparently i didn’t have to as the student ambassadors seemed annoyed that i was there and even said “ugh” loudly when i unmuted to thank them and leave the room, it seemed like i did give very awkward and off putting vibes for that to happen. I just want to vent here, i am extremely devastated that i likely ruined my chance to get in, i kept crying all day yesterday after the interview. Still stuck in my head and i feel hopeless

I am sorry you feel it didn't go well. However, there are lots of positives to take from it.

1.

You need to practice 1-1 interviews

2.

You need to work out strategies for working in group situations

3.

You mustn't blame the internet if you start stuttering and perhaps again, work out a strategy of how to manage that situation if you do start stuttering.

You have been wrapped in educational cotton wool up to now with schools being required to accommodate your individual needs and that is a good thing and right. However, now you are moving into the big world, where as it is reasonable to expect some adaptations, people you meet in the instance won't know who you are or the issues you face and it is therefore up to you to either temper expectations or manage the situation.

This isn't the end of the road, but I do think it provides an excellent learning and development opportunity for you to grow.

There are lots of very successful people out there who have social anxiety but still have jobs that entail lots of socialising and managing teams. It can be done. It is just a skill to acquire.

(edited 1 year ago)

Reply 2

Lilal555

OP

2

Original post

by hotpud

I am sorry you feel it didn't go well. However, there are lots of positives to take from it.

1.

You need to practice 1-1 interviews

2.

You need to work out strategies for working in group situations

3.

You mustn't blame the internet if you start stuttering and perhaps again, work out a strategy of how to manage that situation if you do start stuttering.

You have been wrapped in educational cotton wool up to now with schools being required to accommodate your individual needs and that is a good thing and right. However, now you are moving into the big world, where as it is reasonable to expect some adaptations, people you meet in the instance won't know who you are or the issues you face and it is therefore up to you to either temper expectations or manage the situation.
This isn't the end of the road, but I do think it provides an excellent learning and development opportunity for you to grow.
There are lots of very successful people out there who have social anxiety but still have jobs that entail lots of socialising and managing teams. It can be done. It is just a skill to acquire.

Thank you so much for your input, you have good points

Reply 3

De Montfort University

Official Rep

17

Original post

by Lilal555

I was delighted to be invited for an online interview by my dream Uni for a master’s program i am really excited about pursuing, to my dismay the interview went really horribly. For reference i am on the spectrum with social anxiety and i don’t do well in speaking in groups. First part involved speaking in a group session meeting student ambassadors
It was hard for me to articulate my thoughts well, losing my ability to find words at times when i do force myself to participate. And for the 1:1 interview part i stuttered so bad the interviewer laughed after i tried blaming it on the internet 😅 i went back to the “group” zoom room cause we were told to get back there after the interview but apparently i didn’t have to as the student ambassadors seemed annoyed that i was there and even said “ugh” loudly when i unmuted to thank them and leave the room, it seemed like i did give very awkward and off putting vibes for that to happen. I just want to vent here, i am extremely devastated that i likely ruined my chance to get in, i kept crying all day yesterday after the interview. Still stuck in my head and i feel hopeless

Hi👋🏻

I am sorry to hear you had a bad interview experience!

Sometimes we place too much pressure on ourselves and we make mistakes! This is okay! Your worth and value is not based on a successful interview! Be proud of yourself that you attended and completed the interview! That is more than many people would do. We are our worst critics! No one will think it went as badly as you do. We always criticise ourselves more than anyone else. 😁

My best advice is to take this as a learning curve! Use any feedback you get and take this in your stride. Also, maybe contact the university in regards to the ambassadors manner. This isn’t acceptable for any ambassador to act! We should be welcoming and encouraging and provide a warm, friendly atmosphere. I’m sorry that you had a bad experience with them!

I hope this helps!😊

Hannah🐄
DMU Student Rep
MSc Psychological Well-being🧠

Reply 4

Analyst89

20

Original post

by Lilal555

I was delighted to be invited for an online interview by my dream Uni for a master’s program i am really excited about pursuing, to my dismay the interview went really horribly. For reference i am on the spectrum with social anxiety and i don’t do well in speaking in groups. First part involved speaking in a group session meeting student ambassadors
It was hard for me to articulate my thoughts well, losing my ability to find words at times when i do force myself to participate. And for the 1:1 interview part i stuttered so bad the interviewer laughed after i tried blaming it on the internet 😅 i went back to the “group” zoom room cause we were told to get back there after the interview but apparently i didn’t have to as the student ambassadors seemed annoyed that i was there and even said “ugh” loudly when i unmuted to thank them and leave the room, it seemed like i did give very awkward and off putting vibes for that to happen. I just want to vent here, i am extremely devastated that i likely ruined my chance to get in, i kept crying all day yesterday after the interview. Still stuck in my head and i feel hopeless

Social skills:

Be open, relaxed, approachable, friendly, lighten up

0) You can try nlp exercises, meditation, breathing techniques, visualisation. You can read books on this subject and there is a wealth of resources on the internet, youtube regarding this subject.

1) Relax, imagine you're just observing or there as a traveller. For example, if you are on holiday, you go there to experience and observe the attraction, you're not going to get anxious doing that are you?

2) Smile, smiling in contagious.

3) Be confident, respect yourself, accept yourself, work out, wear good clothes, feel good, focus on your passions, know you are a good person who treats people well, you have got as much right as everyone else.Think positively, be proud of yourself, do things that make you happy, remember your happy times, what makes you confident? What makes you proud? Do you have a skill you are good at? Do things like cooking, driving, learning that increases your confidence daily. Relax.Have good posture, body language, improve your appearance. Be happy with yourself.

4) Dress well, have good grooming, hairstyle, have good posture.

5) Just say hi or hey to people in your vicinity, who cares if they don't say anything back?

6) Ask how they are, how's everything, how's it going, what's the latest, what made them choose this course, their plans for the future, their plans for the rest of the day, weekend, how was their weekend, their day, what they will get up to, what they got up to, ask them about their hobbies, talk about what's happening. You could read up on current affairs.Talk about the weather or did you see that sports game? Just mingle with them,Compliment them, say "I like your jacket".If you know they went on a holiday or somewhere, ask them about it etc.

7) Be passionate about life.

8) In group discussions, relax and talk to someone close or if someone says something you know, you can talk then. Stay relaxed.

9) Lighten up, have a laugh, laugh easily, be friendly, approachable, interested, relaxed.

10) You can write things down and come up with a rational reframed response, keep a journal of your thoughts, reach out to people slowly

Upset after University interview

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