I’m gay and I feel like I’m suffocating

I’m gay and I’m in my mid 20’s, I’ve not told any of my family and I don’t think I ever will, my family also don’t like it when I go out so it makes life very difficult.

I’ve never really had any friends to confide in however recently I started a job (6 months ago) and I’ve become very chatty with a girl there, we exchange jokes and conversation so naturally. She always says she likes me a lot. I don’t know if she likes me in a romantic way but I really like her as a friend.

I want to ask her out to dinner, but obviously not a date so I’m thinking of telling her that I am gay. I hope that if I tell her this, it could lead to a strong friendship?

I need opinions. Should I tell her I’m gay, this way we can be friends and my family won’t mind me hanging out with her as she’s a girl.

Reply 1

MagnificeMillo

Original post by Anonymous

I’m gay and I’m in my mid 20’s, I’ve not told any of my family and I don’t think I ever will, my family also don’t like it when I go out so it makes life very difficult.
I’ve never really had any friends to confide in however recently I started a job (6 months ago) and I’ve become very chatty with a girl there, we exchange jokes and conversation so naturally. She always says she likes me a lot. I don’t know if she likes me in a romantic way but I really like her as a friend.
I want to ask her out to dinner, but obviously not a date so I’m thinking of telling her that I am gay. I hope that if I tell her this, it could lead to a strong friendship?
I need opinions. Should I tell her I’m gay, this way we can be friends and my family won’t mind me hanging out with her as she’s a girl.

It's understandable that you're facing challenges in navigating your identity and relationships, especially with your family's disapproval and lack of support. It's important to prioritize your well-being and seek out supportive connections in your life.

Regarding your situation with the girl from work, it's commendable that you value her friendship and are considering opening up to her about your sexuality. Here are some considerations to help you make a decision:

1. **Trust and Comfort**: Before disclosing your sexual orientation to someone, ensure that you trust them and feel comfortable sharing this personal aspect of yourself. Consider the level of rapport and understanding you have with the girl from work.

2. **Friendship vs. Romantic Interest**: Clarify your intentions when asking her out to dinner. If you see her as a potential friend and want to establish a strong platonic connection, it's important to communicate this clearly to avoid any misunderstandings.

3. **Supportive Friendship**: Sharing your sexuality with someone can lead to a deeper level of understanding and support in your friendship. If she responds positively and offers you support, it could strengthen your bond and provide you with a trusted confidante.

4. **Respect Boundaries**: Be mindful of her feelings and boundaries when sharing personal information. Respect her response, whether it's supportive or not, and give her space to process the information.

5. **Seeking Support**: Consider reaching out to LGBTQ+ support groups, online communities, or counseling services for additional support and guidance in navigating your identity and relationships.

Ultimately, the decision to disclose your sexuality is a personal one, and it's important to prioritize your comfort and well-being. If you feel ready and trust the girl from work, sharing this aspect of yourself could lead to a deeper connection and understanding. Remember that you deserve to be surrounded by supportive and accepting individuals who value you for who you are.

Reply 2

Zarek

I’d tell her how much you value her friendship and that you are gay and see how things go. I imagine it will be ok

Reply 3

Anonymous #1

Original post by Zarek

I’d tell her how much you value her friendship and that you are gay and see how things go. I imagine it will be ok

I’m going to do this, I feel like a problem shared is a problem halved. If I don’t start showing a little bit of my authentic self It’s going to make me go crazy.