bf sa'ed me?

i won't get graphic but i woke up to my bf doing stuff to me and i had a sort of freeze response and tried to act like i was still asleep so i didn't confront him at the time or the morning after and i still haven't because i don't know how to or what to say. i know the obvious advice would be to break up with him, but we're both doing our a level exams right now and it would most likely to be detrimental to both of our exams, which i obviously don't want. its really messing with my head and distracting me from revision - we've been dating for ages and i never thought he would do anything like that.
help?!

Reply 1

Wired_1800

20

Original post by Anonymous

i won't get graphic but i woke up to my bf doing stuff to me and i had a sort of freeze response and tried to act like i was still asleep so i didn't confront him at the time or the morning after and i still haven't because i don't know how to or what to say. i know the obvious advice would be to break up with him, but we're both doing our a level exams right now and it would most likely to be detrimental to both of our exams, which i obviously don't want. its really messing with my head and distracting me from revision - we've been dating for ages and i never thought he would do anything like that.
help?!

Tell your parents.

Reply 2

Smart282

16

I mean he is your bf so I don’t get it why that’s like bad is it because he didn’t ask for consent but I mean I would have pushed him off me immediately tf

Reply 3

Anonymous #2

Original post by Smart282

I mean he is your bf so I don’t get it why that’s like bad is it because he didn’t ask for consent but I mean I would have pushed him off me immediately tf

UMMMM yeah consent hello??!? Just because you’re in a relationship doesn’t mean consent isn’t needed. She was unconscious that is crazy.

Reply 4

username7007125

0

4

Original post by Anonymous

i won't get graphic but i woke up to my bf doing stuff to me and i had a sort of freeze response and tried to act like i was still asleep so i didn't confront him at the time or the morning after and i still haven't because i don't know how to or what to say. i know the obvious advice would be to break up with him, but we're both doing our a level exams right now and it would most likely to be detrimental to both of our exams, which i obviously don't want. its really messing with my head and distracting me from revision - we've been dating for ages and i never thought he would do anything like that.
help?!

Hey girly, I hope you’re doing okay, I’m sorry that happened to you. I understand that you don’t want to break up when you’re both doing your A levels, (im also doing my a levels rn,) but if you aren’t gonna be able to concentrate on revising for them while you’re still together, staying together means it impacts your revision and breaking up will obviously have an impact on your a levels too but that’s a definite whereas if you breakup at least you may be able to concentrate at least until your exams are over then address your relationship again? Idk if this makes sense but this is the way I think I’d go about it. But do what’s best for you and I’m here if you need to talk x

Reply 5

Anonymous #3

I’m so sorry this has happened to you, first of all. It’s devastating on so many levels. I know it’s really really hard not to, especially if you’ve been together a while, but please focus on how you feel rather than on how he feels. He’s done something terrible to you and made you feel really unsafe. If his A levels are impacted, that’s a consequences of his own actions. He can always retake exams later. You need to focus on what makes you safest and what makes you feel safest. That means telling adults you trust, removing him from your life (breaking up and blocking as soon as you’re able, but in these circumstances it’s also 100% ok just to ghost him.) You deserve far better and your safety comes first.

In terms of your exams, they’re important, but not worth sacrificing your safety for. You can always retake if they’re impacted, plus they’re definitely going to be impacted ofnyou stay in a relationship that hurts you all the way through exam season. If you want to go to uni and you miss your grades, there are often ways of explaining extenuating circumstances to unis and they might make allowances based on that. Otherwise, retaking and taking a gap year after won’t change your likelihood of success in life.

I’m so sorry you’re going through this, I really
Hope you can feel safe again soon.

Reply 6

ivanita12

14

Original post by Anonymous

i won't get graphic but i woke up to my bf doing stuff to me and i had a sort of freeze response and tried to act like i was still asleep so i didn't confront him at the time or the morning after and i still haven't because i don't know how to or what to say. i know the obvious advice would be to break up with him, but we're both doing our a level exams right now and it would most likely to be detrimental to both of our exams, which i obviously don't want. its really messing with my head and distracting me from revision - we've been dating for ages and i never thought he would do anything like that.
help?!

you need to ell him you were not comfortable bc if u are stressing out about it it will effect your exams and your mental health will go bad

Reply 7

Anonymous #1

OP

Original post by Anonymous

I’m so sorry this has happened to you, first of all. It’s devastating on so many levels. I know it’s really really hard not to, especially if you’ve been together a while, but please focus on how you feel rather than on how he feels. He’s done something terrible to you and made you feel really unsafe. If his A levels are impacted, that’s a consequences of his own actions. He can always retake exams later. You need to focus on what makes you safest and what makes you feel safest. That means telling adults you trust, removing him from your life (breaking up and blocking as soon as you’re able, but in these circumstances it’s also 100% ok just to ghost him.) You deserve far better and your safety comes first.
In terms of your exams, they’re important, but not worth sacrificing your safety for. You can always retake if they’re impacted, plus they’re definitely going to be impacted ofnyou stay in a relationship that hurts you all the way through exam season. If you want to go to uni and you miss your grades, there are often ways of explaining extenuating circumstances to unis and they might make allowances based on that. Otherwise, retaking and taking a gap year after won’t change your likelihood of success in life.
I’m so sorry you’re going through this, I really
Hope you can feel safe again soon.