Can muslims date?
Hey so as a muslim girl i was wondering if it would be sinful to date. I dont mean kisses and all that. A bunch of ppl in my school do and its been happening so much to the point where it confuses me
I am 16 rn and I had a guy who confessed to me and wants us to be a thing. I really want to stay away from this behaviour bet I can't help but be interested.
I am 16 rn and I had a guy who confessed to me and wants us to be a thing. I really want to stay away from this behaviour bet I can't help but be interested.
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Reply 1
Original post by Anonymous
Hey so as a muslim girl i was wondering if it would be sinful to date. I dont mean kisses and all that. A bunch of ppl in my school do and its been happening so much to the point where it confuses me
I am 16 rn and I had a guy who confessed to me and wants us to be a thing. I really want to stay away from this behaviour bet I can't help but be interested.
I am 16 rn and I had a guy who confessed to me and wants us to be a thing. I really want to stay away from this behaviour bet I can't help but be interested.
Salaam sister I am going to give you two options: 1. Studying and Education or 2. Boy pick wisely. Hint: wisely
(edited 10 months ago)
Reply 2
No you can’t date . Only marriage
Reply 3
Original post by Anonymous
Hey so as a muslim girl i was wondering if it would be sinful to date. I dont mean kisses and all that. A bunch of ppl in my school do and its been happening so much to the point where it confuses me
I am 16 rn and I had a guy who confessed to me and wants us to be a thing. I really want to stay away from this behaviour bet I can't help but be interested.
I am 16 rn and I had a guy who confessed to me and wants us to be a thing. I really want to stay away from this behaviour bet I can't help but be interested.
Reply 4
It depends on what you mean by dating, the sect and type of islam you have chosen to practice.
Looking for a future spouse- online, offline or through a religious introductions service with full parental permission & supervision?
Dating for marriage trying to find a compatible spouse without asking for parental permission or the knowledge of nearest practicing male relative?
Legally within the uk, anybody over the age of 16 can date as long as there is no criminal conduct like child porn or adult abuse of trust provisions involved.
Most religious absolutist, fundamentalist and ultra-conservative followers of islam believe in very strict biological sex segregation.
With all unsupervised non-essential social contact and other face to face interactions in the same room between girls & guys outside of the immediate family forbidden under the free-mixing classification.
Immediate family to include parents, siblings, uncles, aunts and sometimes in-laws.
This approach to islam prohibits all other attempts to find a spouse that do not involve the supervised arranged marriage practices involving older relatives every step of the way or a representative outside of the family that the nearest practicing male relative gives his authority to.
Looking for a future spouse- online, offline or through a religious introductions service with full parental permission & supervision?
Dating for marriage trying to find a compatible spouse without asking for parental permission or the knowledge of nearest practicing male relative?
Legally within the uk, anybody over the age of 16 can date as long as there is no criminal conduct like child porn or adult abuse of trust provisions involved.
Most religious absolutist, fundamentalist and ultra-conservative followers of islam believe in very strict biological sex segregation.
With all unsupervised non-essential social contact and other face to face interactions in the same room between girls & guys outside of the immediate family forbidden under the free-mixing classification.
Immediate family to include parents, siblings, uncles, aunts and sometimes in-laws.
This approach to islam prohibits all other attempts to find a spouse that do not involve the supervised arranged marriage practices involving older relatives every step of the way or a representative outside of the family that the nearest practicing male relative gives his authority to.
Original post by Anonymous
Hey so as a muslim girl i was wondering if it would be sinful to date. I dont mean kisses and all that. A bunch of ppl in my school do and its been happening so much to the point where it confuses me
I am 16 rn and I had a guy who confessed to me and wants us to be a thing. I really want to stay away from this behaviour bet I can't help but be interested.
I am 16 rn and I had a guy who confessed to me and wants us to be a thing. I really want to stay away from this behaviour bet I can't help but be interested.
Hi sister,
It’s completely normal at your age to have feelings or be interested in guys. But the nature of Islam, for good reason, prohibits dating. If you are not interested in getting married right now, then just do yourself a favour and focus on your studies, and your friendships (these are what will carry you through life). It becomes a lot harder as you get older to make friends, so nurture your friendships and leave dating for when you are older.
Reply 6
what if in the future I am interested in dating
Reply 7
Original post by Anonymous
what if in the future I am interested in dating
Sister get your education done and at 18-20 find yourself a stable job whether that’s you both living in his parents home or not you are stable enough educated enough to not only provide for one and other but to progress your future ambitions and goals forget that. Wipe that away.
Reply 8
Original post by Anonymous
Hey so as a muslim girl i was wondering if it would be sinful to date. I dont mean kisses and all that. A bunch of ppl in my school do and its been happening so much to the point where it confuses me
I am 16 rn and I had a guy who confessed to me and wants us to be a thing. I really want to stay away from this behaviour bet I can't help but be interested.
I am 16 rn and I had a guy who confessed to me and wants us to be a thing. I really want to stay away from this behaviour bet I can't help but be interested.
Salaam.
In Islam, you have to be very careful when interacting with the other gender. There was a story of an Islamic sheikh who was extremely pious and was even unmarried and lived in the mosque because he wanted to be close to Allah. A woman's family came to him and asked him to take care of their daughter whilst they went on a business trip. The man first refused, but Shaytaan got to his feelings and made him take the girl in. At the beginning, the priest only kept her in a room, locked up, and he would serve her food from outside so as not to commit zina. Eventually, Shaytaan kept whispering to him that he was treating like an animal and the least he could do is have a short convo with her. The priest dwelled on this and caved in, regularly speaking to the woman when he served her food. Once this happened, they began to commit zina and the priest got her pregnant. When he realised this, he killed her out of him being scared and buried her. When her brothers came to collect her, he lied and said she died of illness, but a post mortem scan showed she was imregnated.
The point of this story is to say that even if you think you wont do anything haram, there is always that chance and Shaytaan can convince you. Even someone as pious as the priest is liable to mistakes. As Allah says in Surah Isra ayah 32, "Dont go near zina". Please for the sake of Allah, don't go on dates with anyone and only be with the opposite gender through marriage.
Original post by Anonymous
Hey so as a muslim girl i was wondering if it would be sinful to date. I dont mean kisses and all that. A bunch of ppl in my school do and its been happening so much to the point where it confuses me
I am 16 rn and I had a guy who confessed to me and wants us to be a thing. I really want to stay away from this behaviour bet I can't help but be interested.
I am 16 rn and I had a guy who confessed to me and wants us to be a thing. I really want to stay away from this behaviour bet I can't help but be interested.
Dating outside marriage is not allowed due to various evidences from the Qur'ān and the Sunnah. From them is:
{Today [all] good foods have been made lawful, and the food of those who were given the Scripture is lawful for you and your food is lawful for them. And [lawful in marriage are] chaste women from among the believers and chaste women from among those who were given the Scripture before you, when you have given them their due compensation, desiring chastity, not unlawful sexual intercourse nor taking girlfriends. And whoever denies the faith - his work has become worthless, and he, in the Hereafter, will be among the losers.} [al-Mā'idah 5:5]
{And tell the believing women to lower their gaze and guard their private parts and not expose their adornment except that which [necessarily] appears thereof and to wrap [a portion of] their headcovers over their chests and not expose their adornment [i.e., beauty] except to their husbands, their fathers, their husbands' fathers, their sons, their husbands' sons, their brothers, their brothers' sons, their sisters' sons, their women, that which their right hands possess [i.e., slaves], or those male attendants having no physical desire, or children who are not yet aware of the private aspects of women. And let them not stamp their feet to make known what they conceal of their adornment. And turn to Allāh in repentance, all of you, O believers, that you might succeed.} [an-Nūr 24:3]
This āyah shows that you must lower your gaze and protect your private parts, which is not possible if you have a boyfriend. It is not possible to have a boyfriend without looking at him and it is near impossible to protect yourself from doing zina with him. Anybody who says otherwise is a liar or extremely foolish. Allāh said (meaning): {And do not come close to zina (unlawful sexual intercourse). Indeed, it is ever an immorality and is evil as a way.} [al-Isrā' 17:32] The āyah also commands the women to cover themselves up except in front of the listed people; the boyfriend is not one of them.
We have been commanded not to touch the opposite gender, apart from those who are you are allowed to (spouse, family etc.) The Prophet ﷺ said: “For one of you to be struck in the head with an iron needle is better for him than to touch a woman who is not permissible for him.” [at-Tabarānī; classed as sahīh (authentic) by al-Albānī]
We have also been commanded not to be alone with the opposite gender. Again, this is impossible to do if you have a boyfriend. The Shaytān will be with the both of you if you are alone and will entice you to do things you wouldn't think of ever doing. So if right now you think that "I can easily protect myself from zina if I'm with him", you will quickly find that things are not as you expect once you are alone with him.
The Prophet ﷺ said: “No man should be alone with a non-mahram woman unless a mahram is present.” [al-Bukhārī (4832), Muslim (2391)]
And he ﷺ said: “No man is alone with a woman but the Shaytān is the third one present.” [at-Tirmidhī (1091); classed as sahīh (authentic) by al-Albānī]
I hope that it is now clear that it is sinful to date outside marriage. As for what you said with regards to everybody in your school is doing it, then this does not change the fact that is is a sin nor does it make it acceptable. Know, may Allāh bless you, that the Prophet ﷺ told us: "Islām began as a something strange and it will return to being strange, so blessed are the strangers.” [Ṣaḥīḥ Muslim 145]
What does this mean? 'Abdullāh ibn 'Amr reported that the Messenger of Allah ﷺ said, “We are in such a time when the strangers are blessed.” It was said, “O Messenger of Allah, who are the strangers?” The Prophet said, “Righteous people among many evil people. Those who disobey them are more numerous than those who obey them.” [Musnad Aḥmad 6650, Sahīh (authentic) according to Ahmad Shakir]
And he also said “A time of patience will come to people in which adhering to one’s religion is like grasping a hot coal.” [at-Tirmidhī 2260 - Sahīh (authentic) according to Al-Albānī]
Therefore, you should not look at what people do and should instead focus on what Allāh commanded you with. It is sometimes hard but you must know in the end it is all worth it.
Reply 10
Original post by I7V
Dating outside marriage is not allowed due to various evidences from the Qur'ān and the Sunnah. From them is:
{Today [all] good foods have been made lawful, and the food of those who were given the Scripture is lawful for you and your food is lawful for them. And [lawful in marriage are] chaste women from among the believers and chaste women from among those who were given the Scripture before you, when you have given them their due compensation, desiring chastity, not unlawful sexual intercourse nor taking girlfriends. And whoever denies the faith - his work has become worthless, and he, in the Hereafter, will be among the losers.} [al-Mā'idah 5:5]
{And tell the believing women to lower their gaze and guard their private parts and not expose their adornment except that which [necessarily] appears thereof and to wrap [a portion of] their headcovers over their chests and not expose their adornment [i.e., beauty] except to their husbands, their fathers, their husbands' fathers, their sons, their husbands' sons, their brothers, their brothers' sons, their sisters' sons, their women, that which their right hands possess [i.e., slaves], or those male attendants having no physical desire, or children who are not yet aware of the private aspects of women. And let them not stamp their feet to make known what they conceal of their adornment. And turn to Allāh in repentance, all of you, O believers, that you might succeed.} [an-Nūr 24:3]
This āyah shows that you must lower your gaze and protect your private parts, which is not possible if you have a boyfriend. It is not possible to have a boyfriend without looking at him and it is near impossible to protect yourself from doing zina with him. Anybody who says otherwise is a liar or extremely foolish. Allāh said (meaning): {And do not come close to zina (unlawful sexual intercourse). Indeed, it is ever an immorality and is evil as a way.} [al-Isrā' 17:32] The āyah also commands the women to cover themselves up except in front of the listed people; the boyfriend is not one of them.
We have been commanded not to touch the opposite gender, apart from those who are you are allowed to (spouse, family etc.) The Prophet ﷺ said: “For one of you to be struck in the head with an iron needle is better for him than to touch a woman who is not permissible for him.” [at-Tabarānī; classed as sahīh (authentic) by al-Albānī]
We have also been commanded not to be alone with the opposite gender. Again, this is impossible to do if you have a boyfriend. The Shaytān will be with the both of you if you are alone and will entice you to do things you wouldn't think of ever doing. So if right now you think that "I can easily protect myself from zina if I'm with him", you will quickly find that things are not as you expect once you are alone with him.
The Prophet ﷺ said: “No man should be alone with a non-mahram woman unless a mahram is present.” [al-Bukhārī (4832), Muslim (2391)]
And he ﷺ said: “No man is alone with a woman but the Shaytān is the third one present.” [at-Tirmidhī (1091); classed as sahīh (authentic) by al-Albānī]
I hope that it is now clear that it is sinful to date outside marriage. As for what you said with regards to everybody in your school is doing it, then this does not change the fact that is is a sin nor does it make it acceptable. Know, may Allāh bless you, that the Prophet ﷺ told us: "Islām began as a something strange and it will return to being strange, so blessed are the strangers.” [Ṣaḥīḥ Muslim 145]
What does this mean? 'Abdullāh ibn 'Amr reported that the Messenger of Allah ﷺ said, “We are in such a time when the strangers are blessed.” It was said, “O Messenger of Allah, who are the strangers?” The Prophet said, “Righteous people among many evil people. Those who disobey them are more numerous than those who obey them.” [Musnad Aḥmad 6650, Sahīh (authentic) according to Ahmad Shakir]
And he also said “A time of patience will come to people in which adhering to one’s religion is like grasping a hot coal.” [at-Tirmidhī 2260 - Sahīh (authentic) according to Al-Albānī]
Therefore, you should not look at what people do and should instead focus on what Allāh commanded you with. It is sometimes hard but you must know in the end it is all worth it.
{Today [all] good foods have been made lawful, and the food of those who were given the Scripture is lawful for you and your food is lawful for them. And [lawful in marriage are] chaste women from among the believers and chaste women from among those who were given the Scripture before you, when you have given them their due compensation, desiring chastity, not unlawful sexual intercourse nor taking girlfriends. And whoever denies the faith - his work has become worthless, and he, in the Hereafter, will be among the losers.} [al-Mā'idah 5:5]
{And tell the believing women to lower their gaze and guard their private parts and not expose their adornment except that which [necessarily] appears thereof and to wrap [a portion of] their headcovers over their chests and not expose their adornment [i.e., beauty] except to their husbands, their fathers, their husbands' fathers, their sons, their husbands' sons, their brothers, their brothers' sons, their sisters' sons, their women, that which their right hands possess [i.e., slaves], or those male attendants having no physical desire, or children who are not yet aware of the private aspects of women. And let them not stamp their feet to make known what they conceal of their adornment. And turn to Allāh in repentance, all of you, O believers, that you might succeed.} [an-Nūr 24:3]
This āyah shows that you must lower your gaze and protect your private parts, which is not possible if you have a boyfriend. It is not possible to have a boyfriend without looking at him and it is near impossible to protect yourself from doing zina with him. Anybody who says otherwise is a liar or extremely foolish. Allāh said (meaning): {And do not come close to zina (unlawful sexual intercourse). Indeed, it is ever an immorality and is evil as a way.} [al-Isrā' 17:32] The āyah also commands the women to cover themselves up except in front of the listed people; the boyfriend is not one of them.
We have been commanded not to touch the opposite gender, apart from those who are you are allowed to (spouse, family etc.) The Prophet ﷺ said: “For one of you to be struck in the head with an iron needle is better for him than to touch a woman who is not permissible for him.” [at-Tabarānī; classed as sahīh (authentic) by al-Albānī]
We have also been commanded not to be alone with the opposite gender. Again, this is impossible to do if you have a boyfriend. The Shaytān will be with the both of you if you are alone and will entice you to do things you wouldn't think of ever doing. So if right now you think that "I can easily protect myself from zina if I'm with him", you will quickly find that things are not as you expect once you are alone with him.
The Prophet ﷺ said: “No man should be alone with a non-mahram woman unless a mahram is present.” [al-Bukhārī (4832), Muslim (2391)]
And he ﷺ said: “No man is alone with a woman but the Shaytān is the third one present.” [at-Tirmidhī (1091); classed as sahīh (authentic) by al-Albānī]
I hope that it is now clear that it is sinful to date outside marriage. As for what you said with regards to everybody in your school is doing it, then this does not change the fact that is is a sin nor does it make it acceptable. Know, may Allāh bless you, that the Prophet ﷺ told us: "Islām began as a something strange and it will return to being strange, so blessed are the strangers.” [Ṣaḥīḥ Muslim 145]
What does this mean? 'Abdullāh ibn 'Amr reported that the Messenger of Allah ﷺ said, “We are in such a time when the strangers are blessed.” It was said, “O Messenger of Allah, who are the strangers?” The Prophet said, “Righteous people among many evil people. Those who disobey them are more numerous than those who obey them.” [Musnad Aḥmad 6650, Sahīh (authentic) according to Ahmad Shakir]
And he also said “A time of patience will come to people in which adhering to one’s religion is like grasping a hot coal.” [at-Tirmidhī 2260 - Sahīh (authentic) according to Al-Albānī]
Therefore, you should not look at what people do and should instead focus on what Allāh commanded you with. It is sometimes hard but you must know in the end it is all worth it.
This guys given the best reply. You don't need to look any further than the Quran and Sunnah for your answer as this persons clearly shown.
Original post by anonymous
hey so as a muslim girl i was wondering if it would be sinful to date. I dont mean kisses and all that. A bunch of ppl in my school do and its been happening so much to the point where it confuses me
i am 16 rn and i had a guy who confessed to me and wants us to be a thing. I really want to stay away from this behaviour bet i can't help but be interested.
i am 16 rn and i had a guy who confessed to me and wants us to be a thing. I really want to stay away from this behaviour bet i can't help but be interested.
yes you should be able to everyone has the right to experience love
Reply 12
Original post by ivanita12
yes you should be able to everyone has the right to experience love
In Islam, it is forbidden to date anyone outside of marriage and any relationships should be held within the boundaries of marriage.
A key teaching in the Quran states:
"Do not go near zina (relations outside marriage)" - Surah Isra Verse 32
Reply 13
Original post by ivanita12
yes you should be able to everyone has the right to experience love
Stop giving advise as a non Muslim to a Muslim about these religious matters lol
Reply 14
No, they shouldn't really.
But lets be honest. Most younger people who are Muslim in the UK live pretty haram lives in some form.
most Muslim younger people cuss, act brash, or look at violent films. a lot smoke, some drink or do drugs, and others yet **** around and sleep with people. Like look at those chicken shops, which often are just fronts for gang activity. isn't that haram?
what YOU should do is up to you. and yes, you shouldn't follow bad **** because others do bad ****.
I'm not Muslim, but then I'm just putting stuff into context.
But lets be honest. Most younger people who are Muslim in the UK live pretty haram lives in some form.
most Muslim younger people cuss, act brash, or look at violent films. a lot smoke, some drink or do drugs, and others yet **** around and sleep with people. Like look at those chicken shops, which often are just fronts for gang activity. isn't that haram?
what YOU should do is up to you. and yes, you shouldn't follow bad **** because others do bad ****.
I'm not Muslim, but then I'm just putting stuff into context.
Reply 15
https://vadamagazine.com/highlights/queer-muslim-sex-worker-documentary
Like she is pretty ******* haram!! but then i bet there are a number like her. and most younger people who are strictly Muslim would find it difficult to live in the UK and the norms we have. and this **** happens in Muslim countries, though obviously it's stamped out more.
It's up to you i guess. I know the Quran says nobody is perfect and we have free will.
Like she is pretty ******* haram!! but then i bet there are a number like her. and most younger people who are strictly Muslim would find it difficult to live in the UK and the norms we have. and this **** happens in Muslim countries, though obviously it's stamped out more.
It's up to you i guess. I know the Quran says nobody is perfect and we have free will.
Reply 16
Original post by calmoceanforthem
https://vadamagazine.com/highlights/queer-muslim-sex-worker-documentary
Like she is pretty ******* haram!! but then i bet there are a number like her. and most younger people who are strictly Muslim would find it difficult to live in the UK and the norms we have. and this **** happens in Muslim countries, though obviously it's stamped out more.
It's up to you i guess. I know the Quran says nobody is perfect and we have free will.
Like she is pretty ******* haram!! but then i bet there are a number like her. and most younger people who are strictly Muslim would find it difficult to live in the UK and the norms we have. and this **** happens in Muslim countries, though obviously it's stamped out more.
It's up to you i guess. I know the Quran says nobody is perfect and we have free will.
If you are not a Muslim, why are you saying what is ok and not?
What is haram is haram even if everyone does it. Does everyone eating pork excuse me from eating pork? No.
And the fact that other Muslims in your community commit haram, it will be even better for a Muslim to not commit haram as they are not doing it for the sake of Allah.
The Quran says we have free will, but whoever sins will get punished. If you are going to quote the Quran, give the full picture.
As for the OP's question, I answered it above.
Reply 17
Original post by hh1209
If you are not a Muslim, why are you saying what is ok and not?
What is haram is haram even if everyone does it. Does everyone eating pork excuse me from eating pork? No.
And the fact that other Muslims in your community commit haram, it will be even better for a Muslim to not commit haram as they are not doing it for the sake of Allah.
The Quran says we have free will, but whoever sins will get punished. If you are going to quote the Quran, give the full picture.
As for the OP's question, I answered it above.
What is haram is haram even if everyone does it. Does everyone eating pork excuse me from eating pork? No.
And the fact that other Muslims in your community commit haram, it will be even better for a Muslim to not commit haram as they are not doing it for the sake of Allah.
The Quran says we have free will, but whoever sins will get punished. If you are going to quote the Quran, give the full picture.
As for the OP's question, I answered it above.
Coz anybody can post on anything here. I'm not sure why that bothers you. Nobody needs to be of a religion to say what's permitted in that religion. NObody needs to be Jewish to say Jews aren't allowed to eat pork. Or nobody needs to be Chrisitan to say Christians shouldn't lie or should be charitable. I don't know the OP. what she does is her business. Doesn't mean I or others cannot offer factual points or guidelines. She can do as she pleases.
You can continue to spout your imaginary posting rules here though. I wonder if that's haram or not.
(edited 10 months ago)
Reply 18
Original post by calmoceanforthem
Coz anybody can post on anything here. I'm not sure why that bothers you. Nobody needs to be of a religion to say what's permitted in that religion. NObody needs to be Jewish to say Jews aren't allowed to eat pork. Or nobody needs to be Chrisitan to say Christians shouldn't lie or should be charitable. I don't know the OP. what she does is her business. Doesn't mean I or others cannot offer factual points or guidelines. She can do as she pleases.
But by saying "I know the Quran says nobody is perfect and we have free will", you are ignoring the rest of the teachings
that explicitly explain that people will be punished for their sins and sugar-coating a situation. If you influence the OP into thinking it will be fine, you will be outwardly affecting her religion, regardless of whether you are a Muslim or not.
If billions of people swear, it doesn't make it any less wrong than what it is.
Reply 19
Original post by hh1209
But by saying "I know the Quran says nobody is perfect and we have free will", you are ignoring the rest of the teachings
that explicitly explain that people will be punished for their sins and sugar-coating a situation. If you influence the OP into thinking it will be fine, you will be outwardly affecting her religion, regardless of whether you are a Muslim or not.
If billions of people swear, it doesn't make it any less wrong than what it is.
that explicitly explain that people will be punished for their sins and sugar-coating a situation. If you influence the OP into thinking it will be fine, you will be outwardly affecting her religion, regardless of whether you are a Muslim or not.
If billions of people swear, it doesn't make it any less wrong than what it is.
The OP is free to interpret **** as she wants. I'm merely answering her question. and I'm correct, the Quran does say humans are flawed and we have free will, as does the Bible of that matter.
THough why don't you correct what MOST Muslim youth in the UK do? unless you know the OP, then challenge the many Muslim British youth who don't live purely Islamic lives.
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