Am I wrong to be insecure?
So,Me and my bf have been in a relationship for 2 and half years.I had had an emotional affair in the past but tbh I had no feelings for this guy because I wasn't aware that what I was doing was actually cheating and it took me a lot of awareness to understand it.I used to chat with many guys in the beginning of our relationship,to mention,none of the chats were flirty or sexual or anything,but I didn't inform my bf about the chats.Do when once he checked my phone he told that I was talking with guys and sice he was not informed I cheated.I had no proofs to give to him that I had feelings only for him and none of the guys,from then on I am bearing the tag of a cheater.He has agreed to stay with me if I let him call me names for 7 years.I am trying my beT to prove to hum that i love hima and that I didn't really cheat,I was unaware properly.But today he called me a piece of meat because I was insecure about his sister who is too open sexually with him.He tells his sister is older than him and also ia his sister so I am a creep to even be uncomfortable about her sharing her sexual secrets with him.He told me to apologise publicly to his sister for my creepy thoughts
Right, two things.
First, you didn't cheat. Honestly I've never seen the phrase 'emotional cheating' in a context that made me think it was actual cheating. It's overwhelmingly used by people who aren't secure enough about themselves or their relationships to understand that their other half can speak with members of the opposite sex, and even have feelings for them (because, lest we forget, that isn't something you can control) whilst remaining loyal. But here it looks like all you've done is talk to other guys without telling your boyfriend. And that is not, in any way at all, cheating.
Second, even if you did, there are major abuse red flags here. In the first instance, his insistence that you tell him when you speak to other men is controlling and is not acceptable. But it looks like he's then made it a condition of him staying with you that he gets to effectively treats you how he likes, both in terms of verbal abuse and controlling your behaviour. And all the while you don't see it because you think you should be grateful to him for staying with you, and feel that you need to make that up to him. But that isn't right at all. You have done nothing wrong, and it very much looks to me like you are the victim of his abusive behaviour.
The situation with his sister is irrelevant. I would break up with him and get as far away as you can. Then you can find someone who actually respects you.
First, you didn't cheat. Honestly I've never seen the phrase 'emotional cheating' in a context that made me think it was actual cheating. It's overwhelmingly used by people who aren't secure enough about themselves or their relationships to understand that their other half can speak with members of the opposite sex, and even have feelings for them (because, lest we forget, that isn't something you can control) whilst remaining loyal. But here it looks like all you've done is talk to other guys without telling your boyfriend. And that is not, in any way at all, cheating.
Second, even if you did, there are major abuse red flags here. In the first instance, his insistence that you tell him when you speak to other men is controlling and is not acceptable. But it looks like he's then made it a condition of him staying with you that he gets to effectively treats you how he likes, both in terms of verbal abuse and controlling your behaviour. And all the while you don't see it because you think you should be grateful to him for staying with you, and feel that you need to make that up to him. But that isn't right at all. You have done nothing wrong, and it very much looks to me like you are the victim of his abusive behaviour.
The situation with his sister is irrelevant. I would break up with him and get as far away as you can. Then you can find someone who actually respects you.
Reply 2
You definitely didn’t cheat, chatting to other guys while in a relationship isn’t cheating, is it slightly unusual? Yes. But is it cheating? Definitely not.
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