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Friendship trio

Hello

I've just finished college and am planning to hopefully go to the University of Portsmouth in September 🤞. (This information is relevant)

I am friends with 2 girls who I will call A and B. I've been friends with A for 4yr and B for 2yrs. I love our talks and the hangouts we have, however recently it's not been feeling the same. I've started to notice that A seems to have a problem with me? Whenever we have a conversation she's always trying to reject my opinions or compete with me. We all have a groupchat and it just seems like A won't talk to me unless B has said/asked something. We used to all have another friend (C) who dropped out of college and A always said that me and C were a duo whereas her and B are one.

I really love A and B and the friendship and conversations we have, I've never felt like I had an actual friendship before until I met these girls. We talk about any and everything. A few weeks ago, A and B made plans to hang out in the groupchat and didn't ask me to come along. I know this is probably my own fault as I didn't ask if I could also come, or they may have just assumed I'm busy. It just feels like B is the only thing holding us all together at times, as when B is not there it just seems awkward interacting with A as whenever I try to start a conversation she just seems put off.

Now, I mentioned the University of Portsmouth for a reason. All 3 of us are planning to go to Portsmouth, this decision was not made so all of us could be together but because we all like what the University offers and the course. We are all in the same accommodation block (one of the nicer ones) however luckily different flats. We have all said that we are planning on making our own friends at university but it would be nice to have each other as well. However I'm worried our friendship won't last, especially over summer. We've all said that we would make plans and see each other over summer and we have B's birthday to look forward too as well.

I try messaging in the groupchat but it just seems like I'm ignored for hours until someone else messages and a conversation starts. I don't know if it sounds narcissistic of me to say but I often worry they talk about me behind my back. I know I do have some problems myself, I often interrupt others without meaning too. I'm not sure if I do it due to fear of being left out or some other reasons. I am working on not doing it.

I am really looking forward to university and I am planning on joining socities. My dad has always said that university is the place I'll make lifelong friends and that everyone is in the same situation.

I just feel alone at the moment, I'm definitely a bit of an introvert but I do try and put myself out there when it comes to meeting new people and making plans.

I don't want to loose my friendship with A and B. I've messaged previously on the groupchat apologising if I feel I had upset them or come across a certain way. But they always says I didn't and it's fine.

I don't know what to do.

Reply 1

Anonymous #1

Another note:
I am quite an awkward person. I don't really understand social queues and sarcasm at times. A and B always say I'm like the mum of the friend group as I'm the oldest and I am just more mature. I'm not sure if it's because I'm an older sister so I'm used to looking after others and I'm more serious about stuff. I was never big on Love Island (I'm not a fan of reality tv and all the drama) either but I started watching this latest season so I could join in the conversations as they both are interested in it. On conversations in the groupchat I get involved, I'll compliment my friends on clothes they had bought (that they honestly look good in) and I'll be understanding and a comforting shoulder if they are upset and are ranting in the groupchat.

I'm really self conscious about my looks and personality but they make me feel so much better about myself. It's nice to have a friends opinion rather than my dad's who's always assuring me I'm beautiful despite my insecurities.

Reply 2

Anonymous #2

i've been in two trios in my life. one in middle school other one was in high school. trios never worked out for me. i get what yo mean no matter what happen you just wanna say sorry even though its not your fault and just go back to what it was right? i've tried multiple times saying sorry but al they did was saying nothing but then continuing to leave me on delivered for like 17 hours something. but i found a new way to get back at them. i dont recommend this but what i did was i brought some gifts and stuff those two friends would like like my friend A liked anime other one liked pinteresty stuff. its more like reverse psychology cuz now they feel bed for ignoring me and all. and hey you'll tell me i'm being an ass but comon, having two friends care about you and all those memories i had with them was great. so i'd do anything to get it back.

but now i've realized it doesnt acctually matter. you meet lot of new people everyday when you're in uni. i dont know what's wrong with trios like is it me? am i the problem? but making new friends in uni and getting on with all other social stuff going uni helped me. i still talk with those two friends but not like we used to. that's the thing with friends they come and go but tbh i really hope i'd have a one true best friend which i can really enjoy my twenties with.

and i'm sorry. looks like i couldn't give you a solve to your problem. but i want to let you know that whatever happens there's always a way out. you're gonna meet new people you'll get on with them. i know this sounds like something that'd a om would say. but trust me. and i can understand your pain too im really sorry.

hope this made you feel okay somewhat. <3