rant - mental health
I haven't been diagnosed with anything, I don't know if anything is wrong with me because idk if what im feeling is normal, nor would i tell my parents to ask to be diagnosed bc they would just tell me to get over it or just blame it on smt.
idrk where to start
I guess it started with GCSE in like year 10, I just started to get more unhappy for no reason and I don't think I've recovered to the same happiness I was before? I'm currently doing my A-levels. I have 4 exams left and I do not care at all. I know I should revise but I have no goals in life, no aims whatsoever. I didn't expect for me to be this far in life and I was sort of on autopilot of doing one day at a time but then Alevels came and I've fallen behind on work. I do care about my grades but not enough for me to have the motivation or discipline to revise because I truly can't picture myself living past 20 - so whats the point in having a degree if I know it's not gonna last long.
However, my brother is disabled and very lazy (he's 15) - and as hurtful as it is for me, i know my parents aren't going to live forever. Even though they are young, I can't help but feel so overwhelmed by the fact that i'll probably need to earn for my brother and practically look after him seeing as he can't do anything for himself. I just get so upset knowing that my life unlike my friends, is going to be more limited because i'm always going to have to keep coming back to him. I feel like I won't be able to enjoy my life or have a love life, social life of my own because I need to come back. It sucks. I wish I had a normal brother - it's not his fault. He suffers too so it's not like I can be mad at him but I'm just scared about how i'll never be truly free in my adult life like some people are.
idrk where to start
I guess it started with GCSE in like year 10, I just started to get more unhappy for no reason and I don't think I've recovered to the same happiness I was before? I'm currently doing my A-levels. I have 4 exams left and I do not care at all. I know I should revise but I have no goals in life, no aims whatsoever. I didn't expect for me to be this far in life and I was sort of on autopilot of doing one day at a time but then Alevels came and I've fallen behind on work. I do care about my grades but not enough for me to have the motivation or discipline to revise because I truly can't picture myself living past 20 - so whats the point in having a degree if I know it's not gonna last long.
However, my brother is disabled and very lazy (he's 15) - and as hurtful as it is for me, i know my parents aren't going to live forever. Even though they are young, I can't help but feel so overwhelmed by the fact that i'll probably need to earn for my brother and practically look after him seeing as he can't do anything for himself. I just get so upset knowing that my life unlike my friends, is going to be more limited because i'm always going to have to keep coming back to him. I feel like I won't be able to enjoy my life or have a love life, social life of my own because I need to come back. It sucks. I wish I had a normal brother - it's not his fault. He suffers too so it's not like I can be mad at him but I'm just scared about how i'll never be truly free in my adult life like some people are.
Reply 1
Original post by Anonymous
I haven't been diagnosed with anything, I don't know if anything is wrong with me because idk if what im feeling is normal, nor would i tell my parents to ask to be diagnosed bc they would just tell me to get over it or just blame it on smt.
idrk where to start
I guess it started with GCSE in like year 10, I just started to get more unhappy for no reason and I don't think I've recovered to the same happiness I was before? I'm currently doing my A-levels. I have 4 exams left and I do not care at all. I know I should revise but I have no goals in life, no aims whatsoever. I didn't expect for me to be this far in life and I was sort of on autopilot of doing one day at a time but then Alevels came and I've fallen behind on work. I do care about my grades but not enough for me to have the motivation or discipline to revise because I truly can't picture myself living past 20 - so whats the point in having a degree if I know it's not gonna last long.
However, my brother is disabled and very lazy (he's 15) - and as hurtful as it is for me, i know my parents aren't going to live forever. Even though they are young, I can't help but feel so overwhelmed by the fact that i'll probably need to earn for my brother and practically look after him seeing as he can't do anything for himself. I just get so upset knowing that my life unlike my friends, is going to be more limited because i'm always going to have to keep coming back to him. I feel like I won't be able to enjoy my life or have a love life, social life of my own because I need to come back. It sucks. I wish I had a normal brother - it's not his fault. He suffers too so it's not like I can be mad at him but I'm just scared about how i'll never be truly free in my adult life like some people are.
idrk where to start
I guess it started with GCSE in like year 10, I just started to get more unhappy for no reason and I don't think I've recovered to the same happiness I was before? I'm currently doing my A-levels. I have 4 exams left and I do not care at all. I know I should revise but I have no goals in life, no aims whatsoever. I didn't expect for me to be this far in life and I was sort of on autopilot of doing one day at a time but then Alevels came and I've fallen behind on work. I do care about my grades but not enough for me to have the motivation or discipline to revise because I truly can't picture myself living past 20 - so whats the point in having a degree if I know it's not gonna last long.
However, my brother is disabled and very lazy (he's 15) - and as hurtful as it is for me, i know my parents aren't going to live forever. Even though they are young, I can't help but feel so overwhelmed by the fact that i'll probably need to earn for my brother and practically look after him seeing as he can't do anything for himself. I just get so upset knowing that my life unlike my friends, is going to be more limited because i'm always going to have to keep coming back to him. I feel like I won't be able to enjoy my life or have a love life, social life of my own because I need to come back. It sucks. I wish I had a normal brother - it's not his fault. He suffers too so it's not like I can be mad at him but I'm just scared about how i'll never be truly free in my adult life like some people are.
Because you posted this message here for people to read, I'm assuming that you still care about your life and your brother, and you would like someone to offer some help and support to you. Well, I can tell you that I'm here to try, even though it's really all up to you in the end. I'll be here to offer virtual support and some words of encouragement, but unfortunately that's all I'll be able to do to back you up.
Look, your grades aren't the most important thing right now. Your health is. Your life is. Right now, based off of your message, it seems like you're hollow inside; your outlook on every aspect of the world seems so cold and negative. I bet that if I asked you, what is your favourite thing to do in life?, you would have no answer. And that's something you need to find. Something to do--something you enjoy doing. Do you enjoy the subjects you study? Do you even enjoy learning? Do you enjoy spending time with your family? Do you feel close to the people in your life--especially your brother?
Perhaps you do, perhaps you don't. But you have to decide is what to do with the time, the life, that you have. After all, it's your life; and you've only got this one. You may not be able to choose what family you were born into or whether your brother is disabled or not, but you can choose whether or not the circumstances shall affect you. You need to look inwards, inside yourself, for that hidden inspiration and that forgotten carefree peace, that you might remember feeling when you were a kid. It could be something as simple as taking a walk in Nature or kicking a ball against a wall, but you must find something that speaks to you.
I'm sorry if this reply is not helping you, or if I'm simply spewing nonsense here. To be frank, I'm simply writing some advice that I'm not sure will be good for you, but which worked for me when I was in a dark place. For me, it was my parents that helped me get better; I took a few weeks break from high school, spent a lot of time with them, and did something entirely different--I played tennis. I don't have a sibling to take care of like you, but it might help to take some time for yourself, and to have someone to talk to that you love and trust. I don't know your parents, but perhaps you could try to communicate with them.
All the same, I hope you get better. And I feel you; I'm right here with you.
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