So, I am a mature student who wants to eventually study English Literature and History as a joint honors. Now, the biggest hurdle that I am currently facing is my math GCSE exam, which I tanked the second paper due to having a severe anxiety attack during the test and freezing on questions I would have been able to answer if I weren't in exam conditions. Paper one I was calm, but I don't think the reality of it being an exam hit me until paper two came around.
For reference, I am sitting the higher-tier paper and I've had minimal support during my classes. The vast majority of grade 6-9 topics have been self-learned through watching videos and taking the mini quizzes on Khan Academy (the site I rely on for revision as they explain it so clearly with diagrams and stuff). I am a little worried that I won't pass it this time around, because of how badly I did on paper two, so the pressure is on to try and score at least 60 marks on paper three.
The algebra and geometry content isn't an issue for me. My biggest weakness is the pure number content and arithmetic. I've never been competent at it, I have always struggled with those aspects ever since I was a kid. So no matter how much I study pure number topics, I've never been able to grasp it. Unlike algebra where I can see the patterns and the method for solving said equations. Someone mentioned that the reason I'm good at algebra is because I am essentially taking my strongest subject(English) and weaving it into my weakest(math). One of my tutors suspects I may have dyscalculia, but I wouldn't know how to go about getting tested for it.
Now, for September I have applied to three colleges, St Helens, Liverpool City College (they also offer a levels but I am not sure if they have them for mature students), and UCEN for their Access to HE Humanities(English literature, history and sociology) program.
St Helens requires both math and English at GCSE. For the record, I have a grade 8/A* in English, which I obtained last year(I was predicted a B/6 in English last year and came out two grades higher). Liverpool offers a pre-access course where I could sit a math qualification alongside Science GCSES(Chem, bio & physics), I am strongly considering that option in the event I do not pass this year, but Liverpool has said they'd let me onto their Humanities course, because of my grade in English. UCEN/Manchester have given me an unconditional offer, which I found a little odd, because I don't have my math GCSE yet.
One option I was considering next year is, if I have to resit my math GCSE again, I would look into sitting an A level in English literature alongside it(through Learn Direct). Now as I said before, I aim to get into a Russell Group uni to study English Literature / History; however, I am beginning to think I am aiming too high, because I can't even pass math.
My uni choices were narrowed down to the following:
York, Bristol, Nottingham, Chester, and Exeter.
Now, for Bristol, I did recall reading they do consider GCSEs when sifting through applicants, which is why I am strongly considering sitting math alongside my science GCSEs next year if I do not pass this year. Would bringing my grades up in the sciences be worthwhile?
At this moment in time, I am not sure what to do. How can I push through this and not feel perpetually discouraged? It's beginning to feel like my aspirations are out of reach.