struggling with jealousy

(just for some context i’m in year 12)

i’ve been struggling with envy really bad, about literally everything and it’s starting to make me even resent my friends. i’m constantly comparing myself to everyone around me for everything, grades, looks, money, popularity, social skills, and it’s making me so miserable but i can’t stop. recently there were applications for head student and my best friend got in and i didn’t, and after we found out i was so jealous i couldn’t even bring myself to congratulate her. i know i sound like a bad friend and it reeks of insecurity and i’m fully aware of how *****y i look and i cant even really make excuses for myself other than the fact that i have crippling low self esteem.

ew this sounds so pitiful haha but really i’m just seeking some advice and how to be less pessimistic other than just surface level things like “positive affirmations” etc.

Reply 1

username7082171

Original post by Anonymous

(just for some context i’m in year 12)
i’ve been struggling with envy really bad, about literally everything and it’s starting to make me even resent my friends. i’m constantly comparing myself to everyone around me for everything, grades, looks, money, popularity, social skills, and it’s making me so miserable but i can’t stop. recently there were applications for head student and my best friend got in and i didn’t, and after we found out i was so jealous i couldn’t even bring myself to congratulate her. i know i sound like a bad friend and it reeks of insecurity and i’m fully aware of how *****y i look and i cant even really make excuses for myself other than the fact that i have crippling low self esteem.
ew this sounds so pitiful haha but really i’m just seeking some advice and how to be less pessimistic other than just surface level things like “positive affirmations” etc.

I was like this too and it made me hate myself a bit lol. My cousins and other family members are quite rich so would go on family holidays and trips quite often, whilst I would watch the social media updates of them "showing off." However, I watched a YouTube video of a therapist talking about her experience of dealing with resentment and jealously, and she showed an alternative perspective which helped quite a bit. Here is the Youtube video:

Also, jealously is very normal but try to channel the jealousy into motivation. That's what I am trying to do. Some of the most successful people channelled their resentment as motivation eg Kim Kardashian, although this isn't the best example.
Feel free to ask me to clarify or ask me for any more advice. I think I have left out explanations on other points you made, so let me know if you would like me to try to help with those. Hopefully I helped lol!!