The Student Room Group

bf in the closet and not coming out at all

Hi, I am gay and my boyfriend is also. I am coming out to my parents and friends and have been talking about him to my family and few friends. I’d woul like to introduce him to my friends and he does not mind. But when I ask to meet his friends he seems reluctant. He is not out at all, just to one member of his family and he does not think to tell anyone. He says it should happen naturally and I shouldn’t being ask him to meet his friends. That’s intriguing me now. That’s has been about 1 year now.
I never came out directly but but everyone pretty much knows i’m gay, and i’ve made sure that my girlfriend has met my friends and family and i also have a close relationship with her family and friends. I think its fair for you to feel curious or weird about him not wanting you to meet his friends because of course you would feel like he’s lowk hiding you away, especially if its already been a year i think you should find out why because if its because he doesn’t want his friends to know he has a boyfriend then you should be with someone who is not embarrassed to be with you. (xoxo a lil lesbian)
Reply 2
Give him a bit more time but tell him how it makes you feel
Original post by Anonymous
Hi, I am gay and my boyfriend is also. I am coming out to my parents and friends and have been talking about him to my family and few friends. I’d woul like to introduce him to my friends and he does not mind. But when I ask to meet his friends he seems reluctant. He is not out at all, just to one member of his family and he does not think to tell anyone. He says it should happen naturally and I shouldn’t being ask him to meet his friends. That’s intriguing me now. That’s has been about 1 year now.
Leave him to do things naturally. Your readiness to let people know should not influence his own timelines. It is unfair and selfish to force him to move at your pace.
I know how it feels to be "hidden" away from your significant other's friends and family. Even after 18 months, my now ex-SO kept me a secret (they were a bi asexual woman, I'm a straight, asexual guy).

The important thing is to remain respectful and to not pressure the other person. Make sure they are always comfortable. But, tell them how it makes you feel, its important for a healthy relationship to communicate. Talk about how it makes you feel, and importantly why you feel that way. Communicate how you would like to see things change and offer to help your partner. Clearly, they are struggling with coming out, and that is okay. Its important to be there for them too.

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