How can I make them happy?
I was hoping to come on here and see some solutions. My parent's call me lazy and tell me im taking advantage of them because im 18 and dont have a job even though i had to quit my old one to move to a different state and turn down a job because it conflicted with my sister's schedule. In the sense of me being lazy, im just tired. My body hurts so bad and im burnt out. It takes so much effort just to get out of bed nowadays. I dropped out of homeschooling because my parents didn't want to keep paying for it but i didn't have the motivation to do it. Every time i bring up how i feel i am told it is just a phase and how i need to get over it. Im just so tired of not being good enough for them. I wish I could just disappear. How can i make them happy or proud of me?
I understand that this is a complicated situation. I am 18 too so I understand how life feels rn. It sounds like you need to learn how to take care of yourself first. This does not mean making excuses, it means looking after yourself so that you can have the energy to do things.
You need to have a consistent sleep schedule which involves waking up around 8:00-8:30am (late enough so that you should be getting enough sleep, but early enough to not feel insulting to your parents). Most teenagers have this routine because of school or work and although people complain, this allows them to have a familiar routine. You need to make sure to look after your personal hygiene and get dressed every day (not saying you don't, but this just adds to the sense of routine and cleanliness gives you more self-confidence). You need to try to eat well and go for a 20-30 min walk every day which will improve both your physical and mental wellbeing.
This may seem overwhelming at the moment, but if you can try earnestly to implement all of these things over the course of the next few weeks and tell your parents that this is your intention, then some improvement should be seen. To motivate yourself to do this, you should set a goal with a deadline (like: "I am going to get up at 8:30am every day and go on a 20 minute walk every day for 2 weeks and only eat one unhealthy snack every day"). This gives you something to work towards instead of a blurry vision of improvement.
For your mental health, spending less time online will make a significant difference. I know this is hard because I struggle with it too. Perhaps you could colour, listen to music, sit in the garden listening to the world go by, or read. Anything that is not online because not only does it make you feel more productive, but it will allow you to actually be with yourself and not feel so overwhelmed. If you feel aimless in the day, try making a schedule. I always do even if I'm planning to chill with the day (eg: 8:30 - 9:00 - eat breakfast, 9:00 - 10:30 - get dressed and brush teeth, 10:30 - 11:00 - go for a walk, 11:00 - 12:00 - read/listen to music, 12:00 - 1:00 - eat lunch etc).
If you decide to journal or just have more time to sit and think, then perhaps inspiration will come to you. Is there anything you're interested in? Art, music, science, history, languages? Do some casual self study! (YouTube video essays, reading books about it, researching famous people in the field? Of course, you're going to want to focus on the looking after yourself first (sleep, hygiene, exercise, screen time) before moving on to finding inspiration and motivation and it is important to remember that progress is not a straight line upwards, sometimes there are pitfalls. If you keep trying, keep convincing yourself that you are going to improve, then you will! If you can get to this stage, then perhaps you can think about getting a new job, applying for an apprenticeship or studying something you are actually interested in and want to pursue.
It sounds like it might also be worthwhile in trying to have better communication with your parents. I acknowledge that this might be the most difficult step of all but if you are able to do this, it will make everything else better. Express to them that you want to have better sleep, spend less time online, eat better and possibly even suggest spending more time with them. This may feel awkward and they might not believe you at first, but if you keep trying, and if you can be open with your parents and maybe have some of their support, then you will improve exponentially. Try to help around the house, cook them food, suggest a film night; you have to remember that despite your differences, your parents are people too and if you do nice things for them (alongside actually trying to progress in your life) then they should be pleased. Try not to have arguments with them or use bad language etc, even when tensions are high. From contextual information, your parents just seem tired and worried about you, but if they are abusive (which is a strong accusation so don't use this word lightly) or simply are not the best of parents, then maybe the situation will be more complex.
I hope anything I have said has been useful and feel free to keep in contact with me as long as you are going to hold yourself accountable and face up to the challenge, as if the only reason to talk to me is to complain, then maybe that won't be the most productive (not accusing you of anything, just in case so it is clear from the start). Wishing up all the best and sorry for the long response lol
You need to have a consistent sleep schedule which involves waking up around 8:00-8:30am (late enough so that you should be getting enough sleep, but early enough to not feel insulting to your parents). Most teenagers have this routine because of school or work and although people complain, this allows them to have a familiar routine. You need to make sure to look after your personal hygiene and get dressed every day (not saying you don't, but this just adds to the sense of routine and cleanliness gives you more self-confidence). You need to try to eat well and go for a 20-30 min walk every day which will improve both your physical and mental wellbeing.
This may seem overwhelming at the moment, but if you can try earnestly to implement all of these things over the course of the next few weeks and tell your parents that this is your intention, then some improvement should be seen. To motivate yourself to do this, you should set a goal with a deadline (like: "I am going to get up at 8:30am every day and go on a 20 minute walk every day for 2 weeks and only eat one unhealthy snack every day"). This gives you something to work towards instead of a blurry vision of improvement.
For your mental health, spending less time online will make a significant difference. I know this is hard because I struggle with it too. Perhaps you could colour, listen to music, sit in the garden listening to the world go by, or read. Anything that is not online because not only does it make you feel more productive, but it will allow you to actually be with yourself and not feel so overwhelmed. If you feel aimless in the day, try making a schedule. I always do even if I'm planning to chill with the day (eg: 8:30 - 9:00 - eat breakfast, 9:00 - 10:30 - get dressed and brush teeth, 10:30 - 11:00 - go for a walk, 11:00 - 12:00 - read/listen to music, 12:00 - 1:00 - eat lunch etc).
If you decide to journal or just have more time to sit and think, then perhaps inspiration will come to you. Is there anything you're interested in? Art, music, science, history, languages? Do some casual self study! (YouTube video essays, reading books about it, researching famous people in the field? Of course, you're going to want to focus on the looking after yourself first (sleep, hygiene, exercise, screen time) before moving on to finding inspiration and motivation and it is important to remember that progress is not a straight line upwards, sometimes there are pitfalls. If you keep trying, keep convincing yourself that you are going to improve, then you will! If you can get to this stage, then perhaps you can think about getting a new job, applying for an apprenticeship or studying something you are actually interested in and want to pursue.
It sounds like it might also be worthwhile in trying to have better communication with your parents. I acknowledge that this might be the most difficult step of all but if you are able to do this, it will make everything else better. Express to them that you want to have better sleep, spend less time online, eat better and possibly even suggest spending more time with them. This may feel awkward and they might not believe you at first, but if you keep trying, and if you can be open with your parents and maybe have some of their support, then you will improve exponentially. Try to help around the house, cook them food, suggest a film night; you have to remember that despite your differences, your parents are people too and if you do nice things for them (alongside actually trying to progress in your life) then they should be pleased. Try not to have arguments with them or use bad language etc, even when tensions are high. From contextual information, your parents just seem tired and worried about you, but if they are abusive (which is a strong accusation so don't use this word lightly) or simply are not the best of parents, then maybe the situation will be more complex.
I hope anything I have said has been useful and feel free to keep in contact with me as long as you are going to hold yourself accountable and face up to the challenge, as if the only reason to talk to me is to complain, then maybe that won't be the most productive (not accusing you of anything, just in case so it is clear from the start). Wishing up all the best and sorry for the long response lol
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