Can you please rate my poem and tell me what you think it's about?

You grabbed my hand
And suddenly...
All the people faded away.
It was only you and I.
The plants disappeared in an instant.
The Sun had been stolen.
Darkness took over.
Leaving behind
only you and I

You pulled me closer
And suddenly...
My body became numb
All I felt
was your cold breath
against my neck.
But why was it cold?

You whispered in my ear
And suddenly...
The sound of my heartbeat disappeared.
All I heard
was your soothing voice.
The hollow words
falling from your lips.
But why were they hollow?

Reply 1

Chickenunicorn17

Original post by btmnflsh

You grabbed my hand
And suddenly...
All the people faded away.
It was only you and I.
The plants disappeared in an instant.
The Sun had been stolen.
Darkness took over.
Leaving behind
only you and I
You pulled me closer
And suddenly...
My body became numb
All I felt
was your cold breath
against my neck.
But why was it cold?
You whispered in my ear
And suddenly...
The sound of my heartbeat disappeared.
All I heard
was your soothing voice.
The hollow words
falling from your lips.
But why were they hollow?

The beautiful thing about poetry is that everyone has their own interpretations and perspective on it, in my opinion your poem is about 2 people in some sort of relationship, the narrator, aka the speaker is deeply in love with an unamed individual and yet this individual doesnt recipricate her passion and appears to be manipulating the speaker and the speaker begins questioning his attitude and behaviour in the middle and last stanza, the first stanza is almost an idelaistic, rose-tinted version of love. Its a good piece, well done 🙂 In my reading the speaker was female and the "you" male.