Why do I dumb myself down for guys?

Why do u dumb myself down for males? I find it very hard to find guys likeable. I like boys and I’m attractived to them of course but I just find them hard to like. I wouldn’t say I’m a 10/10 but I’m decent looking and achieve high grades. Boys do have crushes on me but I actually don’t care😭 I find most so immature and just dirty minded and disgusting. However, I’ve noticed when I find a guy attractive and we get talking, even irl, I’ll dumb myself down and if they say something incorrect I won’t correct them or educate them. I also rarely ever talk to boys because of this. Why am I like this?

One day I would like to get married. But not a silly little boy with a beard, a real man. Provider, kind, gentle, respectful, older. I guess I just don’t want to settle down for less. I’m 17 by the way and plan hopefully to marry in my mid 20s.

So I’m just asking like what do I do? Why am I like this? And how can I get better ?

Reply 1

Anonymous #2

stop acting dumb and be yourself then I guess? 😭

Reply 2

Anonymous #3

Bro just don’t dumb yourself down then. Also why are you thinking of marriage when you’re 17 years old?😭 I’m almost 17 and the only thing I’m concerned about is getting into my dream uni. Just focus on your self mate.

Reply 3

MiaALD91

Original post by Anonymous

Why do u dumb myself down for males? I find it very hard to find guys likeable. I like boys and I’m attractived to them of course but I just find them hard to like. I wouldn’t say I’m a 10/10 but I’m decent looking and achieve high grades. Boys do have crushes on me but I actually don’t care😭 I find most so immature and just dirty minded and disgusting. However, I’ve noticed when I find a guy attractive and we get talking, even irl, I’ll dumb myself down and if they say something incorrect I won’t correct them or educate them. I also rarely ever talk to boys because of this. Why am I like this?
One day I would like to get married. But not a silly little boy with a beard, a real man. Provider, kind, gentle, respectful, older. I guess I just don’t want to settle down for less. I’m 17 by the way and plan hopefully to marry in my mid 20s.
So I’m just asking like what do I do? Why am I like this? And how can I get better ?

Typically girls mature faster than boys. This is often what can cause girls to feel boys are “immature”. Typically past the teenage years the maturity level evens out. “Dumbing yourself down” and “not correcting people” isn’t necessary the same thing. Due to biological differences and environmental influence on the development of the brain some people may be more inclined to correct someone in situations where someone else wouldn’t correct someone. Typically there is no malice intention behind this but it can appear to other people there is. “Dumbing yourself down” could be for two reasons. The first being due to biological differences and environmental influence on the development of the brain. Some people enjoy having what would be seen as “academic” conversations. Such as history, sociology, politics, science etc. So when around those who don’t enjoy these areas of discussion it can feel like “dumbing down”. Though if this is the case it’s most commonly seen among people you socialise with no matter gender.
The second being male validation. Many societies put an emphasis from a young age on the female need to be validated by men. The idea you seen in 90s & 2000s romance films that the girls life is nothing without the guy. This can be presented in a way of a girl “dumbing herself down” in order to be seen the way it’s believed men want girls to be. Male validation is caused by socialisation. It most often is an unconscious response to being in a society where the validation of men is seen as more valued than the validation of woman and that the validation of men is needed for a woman to be valued and worth something

Reply 4

Anonymous #4

Original post by Anonymous

Why do u dumb myself down for males? I find it very hard to find guys likeable. I like boys and I’m attractived to them of course but I just find them hard to like. I wouldn’t say I’m a 10/10 but I’m decent looking and achieve high grades. Boys do have crushes on me but I actually don’t care😭 I find most so immature and just dirty minded and disgusting. However, I’ve noticed when I find a guy attractive and we get talking, even irl, I’ll dumb myself down and if they say something incorrect I won’t correct them or educate them. I also rarely ever talk to boys because of this. Why am I like this?
One day I would like to get married. But not a silly little boy with a beard, a real man. Provider, kind, gentle, respectful, older. I guess I just don’t want to settle down for less. I’m 17 by the way and plan hopefully to marry in my mid 20s.
So I’m just asking like what do I do? Why am I like this? And how can I get better ?