The Student Room Group

Coping with absolutely no friends

I’m in sixth form and year 12 finishes in a few weeks and in this year I have not made a single friend, the sixth form I attend is part of a high school and I am an external, at the start of year 12 for maybe 2 months I hung out with 3 people from my old high school but I left them because it was obvious they didn’t want me around but this meant I had missed the opportunity to make friends. Every single day I have spent lunch Time , break time, free time, study time in the library, I am utterly alone, I have 2 people that I have a conversation with once every 4 months and it isn’t long enough for me to hang out with them and they all have their groups. I see people hanging out together and having fun but I can do nothing but sit in the library pretending to revise so I don’t look like a weirdo. All my old friends have successfully made friends so why can’t I. I often plot on people to make friends with but I feel like I’m the only one who makes effort or feel like I’m an intruder. I feel like an outsider in this school as I know no one and no one knows me. I try to comfort myself with the idea that once year 13 starts, it’s a lot of revision so friends don’t matter, while this does work occasionally, I feel like this has been the most miserable year of my life and I would like if one person could see me as a friend where I can hang out with them. My school has social areas which I have never been in because of the shame and embarrassment of being alone. I don’t understand why I am so unlikeable. People say I have negative energy but I try and smile and laugh with everyone I see. I feel empty and unable to hold conversations, I’m shy and just miserably alone. I don’t really know how long I can feel this way for as it only gets worst. I always have tears in my eyes when I see others like how can i genuinely have no one. I try to pray but my situation hasn’t changed since the start. Currently I’m writing this in the library during the 45 minutes lunch. It feels bad that no one cares whether I come to school or not or cares where I am or what I do. I guess this could be used as an opportunity to succeed in my subjects but I’m really struggling with maths and got a D in the most recent examination. I don’t see any happiness down the line and I’ve been trying to hang on but i am being eaten by this loneliness. I want to belong but I can’t, some days I go by without even hearing my voice. Teachers in class literally forget I’m there, I genuinely do feel invisible but I am a person too. It’s too late to start joining friend groups as they have been established for years since this is a high school and sixthform. I can’t make friends in class as they belong to established groups and I can’t fit in with anyone, I don’t know if this is because of a lack of personality or I’m genuinely undesirable I don’t know. There are no groups to join as they are all for the younger years. This loneliness has been taking tolls on my personal life too, I find myself becoming more lazy and demotivated, pushing away old friends and family too. Sometimes I randomly start crying and I have other family issues too and others I won’t say, I feel as though if I actually had a friend or friends, a lot of my issues would dissolve but I feel like it’s impossible now. Days feel like blurs to me and this depression feels inescapable. Any solace or comfort or advice would be much appreciated, thank you.
Original post by Anonymous
I’m in sixth form and year 12 finishes in a few weeks and in this year I have not made a single friend, the sixth form I attend is part of a high school and I am an external, at the start of year 12 for maybe 2 months I hung out with 3 people from my old high school but I left them because it was obvious they didn’t want me around but this meant I had missed the opportunity to make friends. Every single day I have spent lunch Time , break time, free time, study time in the library, I am utterly alone, I have 2 people that I have a conversation with once every 4 months and it isn’t long enough for me to hang out with them and they all have their groups. I see people hanging out together and having fun but I can do nothing but sit in the library pretending to revise so I don’t look like a weirdo. All my old friends have successfully made friends so why can’t I. I often plot on people to make friends with but I feel like I’m the only one who makes effort or feel like I’m an intruder. I feel like an outsider in this school as I know no one and no one knows me. I try to comfort myself with the idea that once year 13 starts, it’s a lot of revision so friends don’t matter, while this does work occasionally, I feel like this has been the most miserable year of my life and I would like if one person could see me as a friend where I can hang out with them. My school has social areas which I have never been in because of the shame and embarrassment of being alone. I don’t understand why I am so unlikeable. People say I have negative energy but I try and smile and laugh with everyone I see. I feel empty and unable to hold conversations, I’m shy and just miserably alone. I don’t really know how long I can feel this way for as it only gets worst. I always have tears in my eyes when I see others like how can i genuinely have no one. I try to pray but my situation hasn’t changed since the start. Currently I’m writing this in the library during the 45 minutes lunch. It feels bad that no one cares whether I come to school or not or cares where I am or what I do. I guess this could be used as an opportunity to succeed in my subjects but I’m really struggling with maths and got a D in the most recent examination. I don’t see any happiness down the line and I’ve been trying to hang on but i am being eaten by this loneliness. I want to belong but I can’t, some days I go by without even hearing my voice. Teachers in class literally forget I’m there, I genuinely do feel invisible but I am a person too. It’s too late to start joining friend groups as they have been established for years since this is a high school and sixthform. I can’t make friends in class as they belong to established groups and I can’t fit in with anyone, I don’t know if this is because of a lack of personality or I’m genuinely undesirable I don’t know. There are no groups to join as they are all for the younger years. This loneliness has been taking tolls on my personal life too, I find myself becoming more lazy and demotivated, pushing away old friends and family too. Sometimes I randomly start crying and I have other family issues too and others I won’t say, I feel as though if I actually had a friend or friends, a lot of my issues would dissolve but I feel like it’s impossible now. Days feel like blurs to me and this depression feels inescapable. Any solace or comfort or advice would be much appreciated, thank you.

im so sorry to hear this. honestly, it breaks my heart.

as someone who isnt completely social either, i understand the struggle of making new friends when everyone already has their friends. it's tough.

if i could help in any way possible, (and im sorry if this comes off as horrible or mean), but use the idea that people don't actually care about you to your advantage! what i mean by this is, just completely let go of any fear of judgement! in class say a joke about the topic you're learning loud + proud! maybe sit with a different friend group in school and ramble on and on and on about whatever topic they are talking about! people judge you less than you think, and if you don't believe that, think about the judgements you have made about people.

ik it seems easier said than done, but you can start with little things such as not leaving a group if you feel excluded, and standing your ground. i hope this helps you truly, sorry if it didnt <3
Honestly, I was EXACTLY like you in sixth form. No friends, no one to talk to or hang out with. Every day I just went to the library or the study rooms and spent my entire time alone. I always thought there was something wrong with me because I really struggled to build connections with others and even hold a simple conversation.
Aww, I'm really sorry that you're feeling like this. Here's a hug 🤗. Jesus is the best friend anybody could ever have. I sometimes feel lonely too and sad, but everybody else thinks the grass is greener on the other side. Everybody wishes they had more friends. Just remember all friendships end, except the one you can have with God. Nothing matters then anymore as he is the best comforter and friend anyone could ever have. ☺️
hey I’m so sorry to hear that but know that things will always get better 🩷 it might not seem like it now but there are countless people out there that you’ll meet one day who you’ll be able to connect with, even though they may be hard to find. that makes them even more special!

even though you may feel embarrassed and it can be difficult, you should push yourself to go to the social areas. people can be kinder and more understanding than you expect, and you’ll only find out if you interact with them.

I truly believe things will get better for you. if not right now, there are plenty of opportunities that will emerge soon such as uni and work, even though it may sound far away.
and take this chance to learn comfort in being alone! it becomes a really helpful and importing thing in the future.

sending love 🩷🩷
Reply 5
Original post by Anonymous
I’m in sixth form and year 12 finishes in a few weeks and in this year I have not made a single friend, the sixth form I attend is part of a high school and I am an external, at the start of year 12 for maybe 2 months I hung out with 3 people from my old high school but I left them because it was obvious they didn’t want me around but this meant I had missed the opportunity to make friends. Every single day I have spent lunch Time , break time, free time, study time in the library, I am utterly alone, I have 2 people that I have a conversation with once every 4 months and it isn’t long enough for me to hang out with them and they all have their groups. I see people hanging out together and having fun but I can do nothing but sit in the library pretending to revise so I don’t look like a weirdo. All my old friends have successfully made friends so why can’t I. I often plot on people to make friends with but I feel like I’m the only one who makes effort or feel like I’m an intruder. I feel like an outsider in this school as I know no one and no one knows me. I try to comfort myself with the idea that once year 13 starts, it’s a lot of revision so friends don’t matter, while this does work occasionally, I feel like this has been the most miserable year of my life and I would like if one person could see me as a friend where I can hang out with them. My school has social areas which I have never been in because of the shame and embarrassment of being alone. I don’t understand why I am so unlikeable. People say I have negative energy but I try and smile and laugh with everyone I see. I feel empty and unable to hold conversations, I’m shy and just miserably alone. I don’t really know how long I can feel this way for as it only gets worst. I always have tears in my eyes when I see others like how can i genuinely have no one. I try to pray but my situation hasn’t changed since the start. Currently I’m writing this in the library during the 45 minutes lunch. It feels bad that no one cares whether I come to school or not or cares where I am or what I do. I guess this could be used as an opportunity to succeed in my subjects but I’m really struggling with maths and got a D in the most recent examination. I don’t see any happiness down the line and I’ve been trying to hang on but i am being eaten by this loneliness. I want to belong but I can’t, some days I go by without even hearing my voice. Teachers in class literally forget I’m there, I genuinely do feel invisible but I am a person too. It’s too late to start joining friend groups as they have been established for years since this is a high school and sixthform. I can’t make friends in class as they belong to established groups and I can’t fit in with anyone, I don’t know if this is because of a lack of personality or I’m genuinely undesirable I don’t know. There are no groups to join as they are all for the younger years. This loneliness has been taking tolls on my personal life too, I find myself becoming more lazy and demotivated, pushing away old friends and family too. Sometimes I randomly start crying and I have other family issues too and others I won’t say, I feel as though if I actually had a friend or friends, a lot of my issues would dissolve but I feel like it’s impossible now. Days feel like blurs to me and this depression feels inescapable. Any solace or comfort or advice would be much appreciated, thank you.

dm me if you wanna talk yk, everythings gonna be okay :smile:

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