The Student Room Group

asked out by a friend and i declined; has it ruined our relationship?

I was recently asked out by a friend from uni.
We've shared some classes and were in the same sports club with a group of friends, and we got along really well. He started texting me start of the summer (he lives in the city where we go to uni; I have a summer job there) asking about meeting up and he kind of soft-launched asked me out to dinner. I politely declined, saying I was flattered but not interested. He played it off saying that he thought I liked him, however it's been really awkward trying to contact him afterwards; he's been kind of sullen/not responding when I have asked to meet. It doesn't help that I apparently come across as really flirtatious when I text and I am a very affectionate person (it's literally just how I am), so I'm afraid that I may have accidently led him on.
I don't know if he actually likes me. I've never liked him romantically, but I know a lot of people who do. We're living in the same block of flats next year too with friends. I really don't want to lose him as a friend, especially as it took me ages to find a friend group at uni but it's made me uncomfortable trying to text/meet up with him.
What do I do?
Not much you can do. It’s not uncommon for people of uni age to not deal well with rejection. Give them a bit of space and see if they want to reconnect after they’ve had time to digest it.
Reply 2
Original post by Anonymous
I was recently asked out by a friend from uni.
We've shared some classes and were in the same sports club with a group of friends, and we got along really well. He started texting me start of the summer (he lives in the city where we go to uni; I have a summer job there) asking about meeting up and he kind of soft-launched asked me out to dinner. I politely declined, saying I was flattered but not interested. He played it off saying that he thought I liked him, however it's been really awkward trying to contact him afterwards; he's been kind of sullen/not responding when I have asked to meet. It doesn't help that I apparently come across as really flirtatious when I text and I am a very affectionate person (it's literally just how I am), so I'm afraid that I may have accidently led him on.
I don't know if he actually likes me. I've never liked him romantically, but I know a lot of people who do. We're living in the same block of flats next year too with friends. I really don't want to lose him as a friend, especially as it took me ages to find a friend group at uni but it's made me uncomfortable trying to text/meet up with him.
What do I do?

edit: about a week after this, I asked him if he wanted to get dinner (which was kind of regrettable as I was very tired) however he declined due to tiredness. My response was kind of in the way we text (aka 'good I'm very tired and would have probably pulled out anyway') however I think in hindsight that may have made it worse oops
Reply 3
Friendship is never quite the same after rejection. I don’t think being friendly and affectionate is necessarily leading on, but it can of course raise hopes, and the text reply is harsh. Let the dust settle and see how it goes

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