my bf has still snaps an old talking stage

My bf loves me very much and we've been dating for 7 months and I've known him for 8 months. I was on his phone and clicked on the profile of a girl on his phone (to look at her username to see if i knew her), and I saw that he had three saved chats on her cleavage. It said they were from 8 months ago which could be as we met or just before we met but before dating, but it made me feel a bit uneasy that he still snaps her. I'm a very insecure person and I'm not necessarily jealous but I'm an overthinker. He knows this and usually does his best to calm my nerves about everything.
I don't have a problem that he snaps her (for streaks), but there was still some photos saved in chat from around 4 months ago. This literally put a pit in my stomach because HE was saving other girls in chat.
There was a problem like this a couple months ago where he was snapping and chatting to a girl he used to talk to - harmlessly because he showed me the messages - but I always have the mentality of if they're an ex they're an ex, and if you're in a committed relationship you shouldn't talk to them, let alone have their saved semi-nudes still on your phone.

I know he loves me and I love him very much - but things like this make me so uncomfortable and angry. I don't talk to any of my exes/failed talking stages/situationships and I have them removed. I understand if you don't remove them, but literally having another girls nudes on his phone was playing at my mind.

Anyways this was kind of a vent, but does anyone have advice on this? Like should I talk to him about it? Or just pretend I didn't see anything?

Reply 1

reenaleila

talk to him about it, you’re hurt and you need to express to him how that makes you feel. Personally I don’t think there’s a reason for my bf to be taking to failed talking stages/exes/situationships as that’s too many feelings (dead or not) involved. I think you should tell him and figure out a resolution (either he unadds her or something like that)
I also don’t think this is an insecurity it’s honestly a valid concern

Reply 2

Anonymous #2

Original post by Anonymous

My bf loves me very much and we've been dating for 7 months and I've known him for 8 months. I was on his phone and clicked on the profile of a girl on his phone (to look at her username to see if i knew her), and I saw that he had three saved chats on her cleavage. It said they were from 8 months ago which could be as we met or just before we met but before dating, but it made me feel a bit uneasy that he still snaps her. I'm a very insecure person and I'm not necessarily jealous but I'm an overthinker. He knows this and usually does his best to calm my nerves about everything.
I don't have a problem that he snaps her (for streaks), but there was still some photos saved in chat from around 4 months ago. This literally put a pit in my stomach because HE was saving other girls in chat.
There was a problem like this a couple months ago where he was snapping and chatting to a girl he used to talk to - harmlessly because he showed me the messages - but I always have the mentality of if they're an ex they're an ex, and if you're in a committed relationship you shouldn't talk to them, let alone have their saved semi-nudes still on your phone.
I know he loves me and I love him very much - but things like this make me so uncomfortable and angry. I don't talk to any of my exes/failed talking stages/situationships and I have them removed. I understand if you don't remove them, but literally having another girls nudes on his phone was playing at my mind.
Anyways this was kind of a vent, but does anyone have advice on this? Like should I talk to him about it? Or just pretend I didn't see anything?

this is horrible , i am so sorry - tell your boyfriend to stop it or just dump that mf

Reply 3

Anonymous #3

Original post by Anonymous

My bf loves me very much and we've been dating for 7 months and I've known him for 8 months. I was on his phone and clicked on the profile of a girl on his phone (to look at her username to see if i knew her), and I saw that he had three saved chats on her cleavage. It said they were from 8 months ago which could be as we met or just before we met but before dating, but it made me feel a bit uneasy that he still snaps her. I'm a very insecure person and I'm not necessarily jealous but I'm an overthinker. He knows this and usually does his best to calm my nerves about everything.
I don't have a problem that he snaps her (for streaks), but there was still some photos saved in chat from around 4 months ago. This literally put a pit in my stomach because HE was saving other girls in chat.
There was a problem like this a couple months ago where he was snapping and chatting to a girl he used to talk to - harmlessly because he showed me the messages - but I always have the mentality of if they're an ex they're an ex, and if you're in a committed relationship you shouldn't talk to them, let alone have their saved semi-nudes still on your phone.
I know he loves me and I love him very much - but things like this make me so uncomfortable and angry. I don't talk to any of my exes/failed talking stages/situationships and I have them removed. I understand if you don't remove them, but literally having another girls nudes on his phone was playing at my mind.
Anyways this was kind of a vent, but does anyone have advice on this? Like should I talk to him about it? Or just pretend I didn't see anything?

You should ask him abt it confront him its wied tell him he better tell the truth or u guys need to end it its not worth loving himif he is semi cheating he might not love u on the same level not tryna break ur heart but u have to break his link up witha ex and snapp harmlessly and. See how he acts

Reply 4

Dunnig Kruger

It's time for you to face down your overthinking. For you to address that and conquer that.

The Bible passage about taking the plank out of your own eye before addressing the splinter in your neighbour's eye applies here.

I improved my over-thinking a lot when - overnight - I decided to take myself and my life less seriously than I had up till then. When I sat down and took a totally zoomed-out view of my life and my place in the history of the universe.

Also look at addressing these 2 things:
Your intolerance of faults in your boyfriends - to the extent that their faults make you feel uncomfortable or angry. Don't let your mood be affected by the behaviour of others. By all means get uncomfortable or angry at your own behaviour and use those emotions to motivate you to take the right sort of action. Although even then you should be about as harsh on yourself as a caring mother would be on you.
Your reluctance to dump boyfriends and move on - sunken cost fallacy. If any man isn't overall good enough for you, dump him diplomatically straight away.

When you've sorted these 3 things out, you will be a more attractive person to your boyfriend and more attractive to men in general.