I don't know how I'll ever get a job
I finish my A-Levels soon so I'm going to have a lot of free time. I'd like to get a job as a way to fill my time and obviously to generate an income. However, I don't think I can get a job because my social anxiety is just so overwhelming. I could not cope with talking to the public or even doing teamwork as even situations like going to the shops make me overwhelmed. I am seeing a therapist about this but the waiting list is 4 months and I don't want to sit around for that long. I know people will tell me to just get it over it, but this is genuinely debilitating and I don't know what to do. Was thinking of looking into jobs where I can work from home but any other tips would be appreciated.
(I am in no way a therapist or life professional, but sharing what I would do if I was in your situation).
I think the first thing to take into account is that this isn't always permanent. Some people may always have anxiety, sometimes it comes and goes, and sometimes you can work to overcome or live with it enough for it not to take over your life. So timeline wise, don't rush into thinking this is exactly what needs to happen this summer.
Look at your finance and think, do you really need a job right this second? If you don't financially, maybe this is the perfect time to work on helping to deal with your anxiety on your own before you get assigned a therapist. Use this time, not to throw yourself into the deep end, but start small.
In terms of jobs, look at Prolific. It is a survey website where you can do however many surveys are available in your own time. I'm not sure how easy it is to sign up now as it's been years since I first became a member but with consistency, you can earn a bit of money on the side.
If you did want a job, have a think of jobs that might suit your circumstances:
Or, you could apply for jobs in retail, food, supermarkets etc. and just see how it goes. If you have to leave after a few weeks, who cares? You gave it a go. You might find that actually when you're in the situation, it isn't all that bad after all. Some jobs it may seem like you are having to speak to people a lot, but it is all kind of scripted. Working in Greggs for example, you probably say 'Hi what can I get you?', 'Is that everything?' and 'Have a nice day' 1000x, but you won't need small talk with customers to do your job. So the interacting is actually the same all through the day. And if you come across something you don't know, or feel anxious to answer, a simple 'please wait there while I go get my colleague to assist.'
Finally there is fake it til you make it. Sounds easier said than done but this was actually what worked personally for me. I'd decide to 'act' confident in a situation and over time I realised that I had become more confident as a person in social situations without even realising it.
You've got a few options here, take and leave what you want as you are the only person who can tell your own capabilities. I would say the sooner you try to challenge yourself, the more you will become comfortable with the situations. If you don't feel up to that, no worries. You can acknowledge this and hopefully get support from your therapist soon. Remember it's only temporary!
You've got this! Good Luck!
I think the first thing to take into account is that this isn't always permanent. Some people may always have anxiety, sometimes it comes and goes, and sometimes you can work to overcome or live with it enough for it not to take over your life. So timeline wise, don't rush into thinking this is exactly what needs to happen this summer.
Look at your finance and think, do you really need a job right this second? If you don't financially, maybe this is the perfect time to work on helping to deal with your anxiety on your own before you get assigned a therapist. Use this time, not to throw yourself into the deep end, but start small.
•
Start with just taking yourself to the shops. Don't buy anything, just browse. Then once you get comfortable with that, buy something. Next step: ask questions that you don't actually need the answer to (eg. in a clothes shop, ask a staff member if they could please direct you to where to find black trousers etc). You already know the answer, but it is the act of practicing speaking to people. The workers get asked things all day long so the only 'abnormal' feeling about it will be how you feel yourself.
•
Go into coffee shops. Take someone (family/friend) with you and order your own drink. Next time, order your friends drink too, next time, go on your own, order your drink and take some 'work' to do and headphones. You will be alone, but the headphones will act as a barrier so people (normally) won't approach you.
•
If you have a career you are passionate about, find events or ways to get involved with that, if you feel comfortable in the context of where you are, it is only the social aspect to focus on.
In terms of jobs, look at Prolific. It is a survey website where you can do however many surveys are available in your own time. I'm not sure how easy it is to sign up now as it's been years since I first became a member but with consistency, you can earn a bit of money on the side.
If you did want a job, have a think of jobs that might suit your circumstances:
•
Library Assistant - still requires talking, but is in a much more relaxed environment
•
Freelancer - Any skills you have (video editing, Etsy crafts, tutoring) from the comfort of your own home.
•
Delivery Driver - Interaction lasts seconds.
•
Work From Home - Remember you may have online meetings.
Or, you could apply for jobs in retail, food, supermarkets etc. and just see how it goes. If you have to leave after a few weeks, who cares? You gave it a go. You might find that actually when you're in the situation, it isn't all that bad after all. Some jobs it may seem like you are having to speak to people a lot, but it is all kind of scripted. Working in Greggs for example, you probably say 'Hi what can I get you?', 'Is that everything?' and 'Have a nice day' 1000x, but you won't need small talk with customers to do your job. So the interacting is actually the same all through the day. And if you come across something you don't know, or feel anxious to answer, a simple 'please wait there while I go get my colleague to assist.'
Finally there is fake it til you make it. Sounds easier said than done but this was actually what worked personally for me. I'd decide to 'act' confident in a situation and over time I realised that I had become more confident as a person in social situations without even realising it.
You've got a few options here, take and leave what you want as you are the only person who can tell your own capabilities. I would say the sooner you try to challenge yourself, the more you will become comfortable with the situations. If you don't feel up to that, no worries. You can acknowledge this and hopefully get support from your therapist soon. Remember it's only temporary!
You've got this! Good Luck!
Original post by Bexh133
(I am in no way a therapist or life professional, but sharing what I would do if I was in your situation).
I think the first thing to take into account is that this isn't always permanent. Some people may always have anxiety, sometimes it comes and goes, and sometimes you can work to overcome or live with it enough for it not to take over your life. So timeline wise, don't rush into thinking this is exactly what needs to happen this summer.
Look at your finance and think, do you really need a job right this second? If you don't financially, maybe this is the perfect time to work on helping to deal with your anxiety on your own before you get assigned a therapist. Use this time, not to throw yourself into the deep end, but start small.
In terms of jobs, look at Prolific. It is a survey website where you can do however many surveys are available in your own time. I'm not sure how easy it is to sign up now as it's been years since I first became a member but with consistency, you can earn a bit of money on the side.
If you did want a job, have a think of jobs that might suit your circumstances:
Or, you could apply for jobs in retail, food, supermarkets etc. and just see how it goes. If you have to leave after a few weeks, who cares? You gave it a go. You might find that actually when you're in the situation, it isn't all that bad after all. Some jobs it may seem like you are having to speak to people a lot, but it is all kind of scripted. Working in Greggs for example, you probably say 'Hi what can I get you?', 'Is that everything?' and 'Have a nice day' 1000x, but you won't need small talk with customers to do your job. So the interacting is actually the same all through the day. And if you come across something you don't know, or feel anxious to answer, a simple 'please wait there while I go get my colleague to assist.'
Finally there is fake it til you make it. Sounds easier said than done but this was actually what worked personally for me. I'd decide to 'act' confident in a situation and over time I realised that I had become more confident as a person in social situations without even realising it.
You've got a few options here, take and leave what you want as you are the only person who can tell your own capabilities. I would say the sooner you try to challenge yourself, the more you will become comfortable with the situations. If you don't feel up to that, no worries. You can acknowledge this and hopefully get support from your therapist soon. Remember it's only temporary!
You've got this! Good Luck!
I think the first thing to take into account is that this isn't always permanent. Some people may always have anxiety, sometimes it comes and goes, and sometimes you can work to overcome or live with it enough for it not to take over your life. So timeline wise, don't rush into thinking this is exactly what needs to happen this summer.
Look at your finance and think, do you really need a job right this second? If you don't financially, maybe this is the perfect time to work on helping to deal with your anxiety on your own before you get assigned a therapist. Use this time, not to throw yourself into the deep end, but start small.
•
Start with just taking yourself to the shops. Don't buy anything, just browse. Then once you get comfortable with that, buy something. Next step: ask questions that you don't actually need the answer to (eg. in a clothes shop, ask a staff member if they could please direct you to where to find black trousers etc). You already know the answer, but it is the act of practicing speaking to people. The workers get asked things all day long so the only 'abnormal' feeling about it will be how you feel yourself.
•
Go into coffee shops. Take someone (family/friend) with you and order your own drink. Next time, order your friends drink too, next time, go on your own, order your drink and take some 'work' to do and headphones. You will be alone, but the headphones will act as a barrier so people (normally) won't approach you.
•
If you have a career you are passionate about, find events or ways to get involved with that, if you feel comfortable in the context of where you are, it is only the social aspect to focus on.
In terms of jobs, look at Prolific. It is a survey website where you can do however many surveys are available in your own time. I'm not sure how easy it is to sign up now as it's been years since I first became a member but with consistency, you can earn a bit of money on the side.
If you did want a job, have a think of jobs that might suit your circumstances:
•
Library Assistant - still requires talking, but is in a much more relaxed environment
•
Freelancer - Any skills you have (video editing, Etsy crafts, tutoring) from the comfort of your own home.
•
Delivery Driver - Interaction lasts seconds.
•
Work From Home - Remember you may have online meetings.
Or, you could apply for jobs in retail, food, supermarkets etc. and just see how it goes. If you have to leave after a few weeks, who cares? You gave it a go. You might find that actually when you're in the situation, it isn't all that bad after all. Some jobs it may seem like you are having to speak to people a lot, but it is all kind of scripted. Working in Greggs for example, you probably say 'Hi what can I get you?', 'Is that everything?' and 'Have a nice day' 1000x, but you won't need small talk with customers to do your job. So the interacting is actually the same all through the day. And if you come across something you don't know, or feel anxious to answer, a simple 'please wait there while I go get my colleague to assist.'
Finally there is fake it til you make it. Sounds easier said than done but this was actually what worked personally for me. I'd decide to 'act' confident in a situation and over time I realised that I had become more confident as a person in social situations without even realising it.
You've got a few options here, take and leave what you want as you are the only person who can tell your own capabilities. I would say the sooner you try to challenge yourself, the more you will become comfortable with the situations. If you don't feel up to that, no worries. You can acknowledge this and hopefully get support from your therapist soon. Remember it's only temporary!
You've got this! Good Luck!
Thank you so so much. This was incredibly helpful and I will definitely take into account everything you suggested. I really cannot thank you enough for being so kind and helping
Original post by Anonymous
Thank you so so much. This was incredibly helpful and I will definitely take into account everything you suggested. I really cannot thank you enough for being so kind and helping
Glad to offer advice! Hope it all goes well for you!
Someone like myself who isn't an anxious person, but experiences extreme anxiety when it comes to public speaking and interviews; what I have found is that my anxiety stems from my ability to convey information in a concise or fluent manner (which I'm able to do, but my brain always thinks the opposite during these situations). I've found that the only way to overcome this (not fully) is by not allowing yourself to go down the route of avoidance. You need to desensitise yourself through repeated exposure to the feeling of stage fright. A beta blocker (40-80mg) can help control the rate at which your heart beats during these scenarios, and what I've also noticed is that being able to feel and hear your heart beat impedes fluent communication.
Original post by Anonymous
I finish my A-Levels soon so I'm going to have a lot of free time. I'd like to get a job as a way to fill my time and obviously to generate an income. However, I don't think I can get a job because my social anxiety is just so overwhelming. I could not cope with talking to the public or even doing teamwork as even situations like going to the shops make me overwhelmed. I am seeing a therapist about this but the waiting list is 4 months and I don't want to sit around for that long. I know people will tell me to just get it over it, but this is genuinely debilitating and I don't know what to do. Was thinking of looking into jobs where I can work from home but any other tips would be appreciated.
Social skills:
Be open, relaxed, approachable, friendly, lighten up
0) You can try nlp exercises, meditation, breathing techniques, visualisation. You can read books on this subject and there is a wealth of resources on the internet, youtube regarding this subject.
1) Relax, imagine you're just observing or there as a traveller. For example, if you are on holiday, you go there to experience and observe the attraction, you're not going to get anxious doing that are you?
2) Smile, smiling in contagious.
3) Be confident, respect yourself, accept yourself, work out, wear good clothes, feel good, focus on your passions, know you are a good person who treats people well, you have got as much right as everyone else.Think positively, be proud of yourself, do things that make you happy, remember your happy times, what makes you confident? What makes you proud? Do you have a skill you are good at? Do things like cooking, driving, learning that increases your confidence daily. Relax.Have good posture, body language, improve your appearance. Be happy with yourself.
4) Dress well, have good grooming, hairstyle, have good posture.
5) Just say hi or hey to people in your vicinity, who cares if they don't say anything back?
6) Ask how they are, how's everything, how's it going, what's the latest, what made them choose this course, their plans for the future, their plans for the rest of the day, weekend, how was their weekend, their day, what they will get up to, what they got up to, ask them about their hobbies, talk about what's happening. You could read up on current affairs.Talk about the weather or did you see that sports game? Just mingle with them,Compliment them, say "I like your jacket".If you know they went on a holiday or somewhere, ask them about it etc.
7) Be passionate about life.
8) In group discussions, relax and talk to someone close or if someone says something you know, you can talk then. Stay relaxed.
9) Lighten up, have a laugh, laugh easily, be friendly, approachable, interested, relaxed.
10) You can write things down and come up with a rational reframed response, keep a journal of your thoughts, reach out to people slowly
Original post by Anonymous
Someone like myself who isn't an anxious person, but experiences extreme anxiety when it comes to public speaking and interviews; what I have found is that my anxiety stems from my ability to convey information in a concise or fluent manner (which I'm able to do, but my brain always thinks the opposite during these situations). I've found that the only way to overcome this (not fully) is by not allowing yourself to go down the route of avoidance. You need to desensitise yourself through repeated exposure to the feeling of stage fright. A beta blocker (40-80mg) can help control the rate at which your heart beats during these scenarios, and what I've also noticed is that being able to feel and hear your heart beat impedes fluent communication.
Thank you for this! 1 have been thinking about forcing myself into situations that make me uncomfortable (but doing so in a safe manner) until l'm eventually comfortable with them. I've definitely heavily leaned into the act of avoidance so gonna try and work around that
Original post by Analyst89
Social skills:
Be open, relaxed, approachable, friendly, lighten up
0) You can try nlp exercises, meditation, breathing techniques, visualisation. You can read books on this subject and there is a wealth of resources on the internet, youtube regarding this subject.
1) Relax, imagine you're just observing or there as a traveller. For example, if you are on holiday, you go there to experience and observe the attraction, you're not going to get anxious doing that are you?
2) Smile, smiling in contagious.
3) Be confident, respect yourself, accept yourself, work out, wear good clothes, feel good, focus on your passions, know you are a good person who treats people well, you have got as much right as everyone else.Think positively, be proud of yourself, do things that make you happy, remember your happy times, what makes you confident? What makes you proud? Do you have a skill you are good at? Do things like cooking, driving, learning that increases your confidence daily. Relax.Have good posture, body language, improve your appearance. Be happy with yourself.
4) Dress well, have good grooming, hairstyle, have good posture.
5) Just say hi or hey to people in your vicinity, who cares if they don't say anything back?
6) Ask how they are, how's everything, how's it going, what's the latest, what made them choose this course, their plans for the future, their plans for the rest of the day, weekend, how was their weekend, their day, what they will get up to, what they got up to, ask them about their hobbies, talk about what's happening. You could read up on current affairs.Talk about the weather or did you see that sports game? Just mingle with them,Compliment them, say "I like your jacket".If you know they went on a holiday or somewhere, ask them about it etc.
7) Be passionate about life.
8) In group discussions, relax and talk to someone close or if someone says something you know, you can talk then. Stay relaxed.
9) Lighten up, have a laugh, laugh easily, be friendly, approachable, interested, relaxed.
10) You can write things down and come up with a rational reframed response, keep a journal of your thoughts, reach out to people slowly
Be open, relaxed, approachable, friendly, lighten up
0) You can try nlp exercises, meditation, breathing techniques, visualisation. You can read books on this subject and there is a wealth of resources on the internet, youtube regarding this subject.
1) Relax, imagine you're just observing or there as a traveller. For example, if you are on holiday, you go there to experience and observe the attraction, you're not going to get anxious doing that are you?
2) Smile, smiling in contagious.
3) Be confident, respect yourself, accept yourself, work out, wear good clothes, feel good, focus on your passions, know you are a good person who treats people well, you have got as much right as everyone else.Think positively, be proud of yourself, do things that make you happy, remember your happy times, what makes you confident? What makes you proud? Do you have a skill you are good at? Do things like cooking, driving, learning that increases your confidence daily. Relax.Have good posture, body language, improve your appearance. Be happy with yourself.
4) Dress well, have good grooming, hairstyle, have good posture.
5) Just say hi or hey to people in your vicinity, who cares if they don't say anything back?
6) Ask how they are, how's everything, how's it going, what's the latest, what made them choose this course, their plans for the future, their plans for the rest of the day, weekend, how was their weekend, their day, what they will get up to, what they got up to, ask them about their hobbies, talk about what's happening. You could read up on current affairs.Talk about the weather or did you see that sports game? Just mingle with them,Compliment them, say "I like your jacket".If you know they went on a holiday or somewhere, ask them about it etc.
7) Be passionate about life.
8) In group discussions, relax and talk to someone close or if someone says something you know, you can talk then. Stay relaxed.
9) Lighten up, have a laugh, laugh easily, be friendly, approachable, interested, relaxed.
10) You can write things down and come up with a rational reframed response, keep a journal of your thoughts, reach out to people slowly
This is very helpful, thank you for being so detailed and considerate
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