can't tell from interest in idea of dating or actually liking them

so this was actually ages ago
me and this boy was "talking" but i was lowkey dropping hints that i didnt like him because i didnt feel ready for a relationship yet
ive never really had convos like that with other boys
so he was my first?
i was scared because i didnt know whether i was interested in the dating aspect or HIM
i am such a hopeless romantic with 0 prev experience
and now i missed him
i actually asked him out but i got rejected but i wasnt too sad about it i just felt really embarrassed and awkward
now he has a gf and looks so happy but i always think back to if only i asked him out or dropped hints earlier
it just feels like olivia rodgrigo's deja vu so much
he plays the same games that i used to with him, same music sigh

Reply 1

Anonymous #2

What do you want said to this?

No, he wasn't your 'first'; you never dated, he was never a boyfriend and if you kept on that you didn't like him you didn't even have proper conversations with him. Have you ever thought that he picked up on what you were 'hinting' and that's why he moved on? You missed out through playing silly games.

You sound quite young, so remember everyone has '0 previous experience' until they date and get experience. And if you want that experience, be yourself and remember that communication is key in relationships...

Reply 2

Anonymous #1

Original post by Anonymous

What do you want said to this?
No, he wasn't your 'first'; you never dated, he was never a boyfriend and if you kept on that you didn't like him you didn't even have proper conversations with him. Have you ever thought that he picked up on what you were 'hinting' and that's why he moved on? You missed out through playing silly games.
You sound quite young, so remember everyone has '0 previous experience' until they date and get experience. And if you want that experience, be yourself and remember that communication is key in relationships...

but surely if i truly liked him i wouldve felt more than embarrassment and awkardness when i got rejected

really wished that i didnt ask him out now if i didnt like him in that way because we could still be friends right now :/

Reply 3

Anonymous #1

Original post by Anonymous

i meant first talking stage(?)

Reply 4

Anonymous #2

Original post by Anonymous

i meant first talking stage(?)

I hate that phrase 'talking stage' because it's meaningless. You either talk because you're friends or talk because you're you're dating and getting to know each other. What else is there? But in your case no, because there was nothing meaningful.