The Student Room Group

Why did he go from very friendly to off-ish?

I don't know where to ask this, as it isn't to do with a relationship (well not mine anyway), but it's been playing on my mind.

Basically, I'm a woman in her 20s and I've been renting a house from a couple in their 40s. Since I moved in, the husband has always been very friendly and chatty - I figured it's just his personality. He is slightly offbeat, but not too much. For example, he'll often randomly be reminded of something, e.g. a scene in a book or an anecdote from his home life as a kid, and he'll go off on a tangent talking about it. As he's a nice man, so I've shown interest and asked him about these things, rather than 'shutting him down'.*

Roughly about once a month/every six weeks he'll turn up at the house to fix something (it's a London HMO - things break a lot!). He's always very*chatty, and always asks lots of questions about what I'm doing, seems very interested..... We text back-and-forth occasionally, always house or rent related, but sometimes with a bit of small talk thrown in. For example, when I didn't get my graduate job, he responded with a huge angry face emoji about the company not hiring me.*

When I first moved in, he told me that this bleach we use would burn through my dress...and he kept smiling...I asked, a bit puzzled, 'is it really that strong?', with a smirk, and he didn't say anything he just carried on grinning...Sometimes he stares at me quite intensely, and smiles, when I'm talking. It could just be a quirk of his?

About a month ago, I bumped into him with his wife on the street; he smiled and me and asked me where I was off to; I told him the library.....he asked me what I was reading, and stared at my face really intensely for what must have been about two minutes.....he acted very surprised/interested in what I was saying ('oh my goodness, really, you're still studying that? What else is on the course these days?'). His wife started stroking his shoulder/arm, but he seemingly paid no attention and just carried on staring at me...He did eventually turn around to his wife and make a comment...

Last month, he came to repair something which took a good few hours, and as I was in, I was talking to him for most of that time, about jobs, our parents, things we wished we'd done careers-wise, books/films we like ...etc. *He acts as though he knows me a little (I suppose he does - or was beginning to...), and told me about some things he knew I'd be interested in (his mother did an English degree at the same university I do, for instance).*He also said, as one of the corridors in our house is very narrow, "it's a wonder anyone except you can even walk through this space....it only looks like there's space for one of you!", presumably referring to how slim I am (well, my waist, anyway....). He told me not to worry about finding*accommodation*next year, when I*will be on a grad scheme and not a student anymore - he promised to help me find somewhere, and not to worry, which I thought was very kind. He said he wouldn't take away my security deposit for breaking a vase, either - although in fairness, it was a cheap thing from Ikea!

However, when I saw him earlier this week, he seemed a bit off with me, and he'd obviously, actively tried to avoid me.*A rather large parcel had arrived for him, and he promised he'd collect it. I was in my room, and my housemate, a guy, was in the kitchen. I stayed in my room, expecting the landlord to pop in and collect this large parcel (we don't have a proper foyer/corridor). However, he walked through the house, into the kitchen, and spoke quietly to my housemate; and I heard him*mention*my name; he just asked: 'have you seen Emily?' My*housemate*replied: 'yeah, she's in....' and from then on I couldn't hear much. The landlord then just left the house without stopping to say hi. I found it odd; he normally would.

As the estate agent's office is on the next street, and I knew the landlord was likely*heading*there, I called him to ask if he'd forgotten the parcel. He replied and said, 'oh yeah, sorry....I did forget....are you in now?' Five minutes later he came back, but instead of stopping and talking to me, as normal, he*seemed to want to leave. "Well, I must be getting on...I'm already behind today with work....we'll [he and his wife, he usually just says 'I'] see you soon". His wife was waiting outside as I glimpsed her from the window. He could just have been busy and I could be overthinking.

I found him avoiding me odd, and it made me worry whether he now, for some bizarre reason, doesn't like me? Landlords who don't like you can be annoying, they can take deposits etc...

Any thoughts?
just cus he doesn't like u doesnt mean he now hates u. i doubt he would take deposits and stuff. probably assumed ur housemate was ur bf and isn't as friendly with u out of respect for ur "bf".
perhaps his wife told him to stop being so chatty with other girls out of jealousy which is normal.

besides, he shouldn't "like" you like that. if anything its good hes neutral, hes a married man.
Sounds like he was getting a bit too friendly/flirty and his partner chewed him out over it.

I wouldn’t worry about, he’s a landlord at the end of the day. You’re still on decent terms.
Reply 3
Original post by Anonymous
just cus he doesn't like u doesnt mean he now hates u. i doubt he would take deposits and stuff. probably assumed ur housemate was ur bf and isn't as friendly with u out of respect for ur "bf".
perhaps his wife told him to stop being so chatty with other girls out of jealousy which is normal.
besides, he shouldn't "like" you like that. if anything its good hes neutral, hes a married man.

I didn't mean "like" in a romantic way
Reply 4
Original post by Admit-One
Sounds like he was getting a bit too friendly/flirty and his partner chewed him out over it.
I wouldn’t worry about, he’s a landlord at the end of the day. You’re still on decent terms.

My worry was, I suppose, that his wife might now decide, despite only ever having seen me once briefly, to be harsh, take a deposit for a silly reason, for example, just because she might not like me....
Original post by Anonymous
My worry was, I suppose, that his wife might now decide, despite only ever having seen me once briefly, to be harsh, take a deposit for a silly reason, for example, just because she might not like me....


Ahhh yeah the wife’s the evil one when you’ve been chatting up her husband and he’s been entertaining it, if anyone’s to blame about the deposit it’s him and partially, you.
Reply 6
Original post by Anonymous
Ahhh yeah the wife’s the evil one when you’ve been chatting up her husband and he’s been entertaining it, if anyone’s to blame about the deposit it’s him and partially, you.

I have not been "chatting him up" - I'm 27, he's pushing 50. He started talking to me, asking me lots of questions
Original post by Anonymous
I didn't mean "like" in a romantic way


u made it seem like this dude was crazily in love with u. litch 80% of the post was u and him playing footsy.
Original post by Anonymous
u made it seem like this dude was crazily in love with u. litch 80% of the post was u and him playing footsy.

Crazily in love?? The guy may - probably does if she’s good looking - fancy her, but not « love » 😅
Original post by Anonymous
Crazily in love?? The guy may - probably does if she’s good looking - fancy her, but not « love » 😅

depends how you define love i guess. love is a very complex thing but you get what i meant.

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