My life is so boring. I don't enjoy anything, I only do stuff because I know its useful or just a good way to spend time or if I'm being forced. I have friends but I hate how they have other friends they spend time with - I've never said anything because it's not like our friendships have been changed in a bad. I'm just jealous. Jealous of people being able to connect and talk to people so comfortably, whilst I take ages to trust and get comfortable with a person but by that point - they have already gotten bored with me. I wouldn't say I'm a boring person, I'm just a quiet person. I've tried talking to my friends friends so I can have more mutual friends but some of them just give me a side eye or just don't include me. I don't understand what i've done and my friends have said that i'm a nice, funny and considerate person. Maybe the people I interact with, just don't vibe with me. And thats reasonable. I just hate how everyone around me, everyone in my area can connect and bond with each other so well and yet I can't.
I don't rlly know what to do, I feel like no one actually knows what I truly feel like - even my close friend of 10 years does. I just keep everything in, sleep it off and feel better in the morning. But i'm dreading for when I hopefully go to Uni, my life will be very depressing. One of my friends sisters said to me that she was an introvert, but she ended up having a better social life in UNI then she did in sixth form. But when I look at the things she likes and does - it makes sense because its what the majority likes ya know? Idk the whole thing just sounds like a massive lie. The world was built for extroverts and I wish I was one.