I confronted the guy I was dating. I don't know how to move on.

We dated for a long, long time. It got to the point where I told him I'm not comfortable carrying on if there are other girls. He told me he's also not okay with me seeing other guys. I repeatedly gave him chances to tell me the truth, he always said, 'No, I'm not talking to anyone else'. I desperately tried to believe him, and I overstepped my own boundaries after he continuously told me what I wanted to hear. But I ended up taking matters into my own hands. I found pictures of him with another girl AND a Hinge account he created in the past week (he's not slick lol, it was all found in less than an hour).

I confronted him about it and, surprisingly, he admitted it. I got a lot of apologies, a lot of 'it's my fault'. He says it wasn't serious (we are long distance, haven't had sex but spoke about it often) so he was just keeping his options open. I can understand it wasn't super serious, but I made my boundaries clear and he straight up lied. He's been travelling to see girl(s?) on the weekend and, pretty much definitely, having sex with them. Then returning home knowing I'll be there waiting for him. He says he has commitment issues because of trauma. Stupidly, I still like him and my instinct is to fix it so I don't lose him. I asked him if I should just give up hope and he told me 'I don't know, I wouldn't say give up'. He says he wants to see me and know me better.

I don't know what to do. I feel so betrayed, I like him so much. All along I was putting in the effort to make it work and this is what it has come to. He won't tell me about the other girls and how many there are, I don't know if they know. I only know who one of them is, they seemed so serious I was (and kinda still am) afraid he has a girlfriend. Do I tell her myself? Just leave it? I can't even get myself to block him. I wasted so much time on this guy just for it to end like this... And part of my sadness is the fact that he's obviously very unhappy within himself to be able to treat others like this.

Reply 1

Surnia

Life & Style Forum Helper

'Commitment issues because of trauma'; do you believe that? Or is he seeing other girls just because he can?

You haven't said anything positive about this guy; where is your self-worth that you want a relationship with someone who lies and cheats? You'll always have doubts about him, so end it now for the sake of your sanity.