The Student Room Group

Friendships

Hey,

So a lot of people used to say to me that my bestfriend is using me but I couldn’t see it. However, whenever she needed me I was there for her; I even booked a holiday for her (fully paid) and now she goes it seems highly unlikely that she’ll be to come - seems like someone is filling her ears against me or something as she’s always wanted to go on holiday etc and especially when you fully pay for the holiday, why would one refuse?

I don’t know what to do as I love my bestfriend to bits and care for her but it seems like it’s a one way friendship - like she’ll always ask for help and I’ll be willing to help.

I need your help as I am slightly indecisive whether to break the friendship or carry on - I just feel like I’ll miss her as I’ve had this attachment; she always says she loves and cares for me in return as well but it doesn’t seem legit to me. I’m such a good friend but don’t know why people love to use and abuse the friendship.

What should I do? I’m getting severe anxiety
Original post by Anonymous
Hey,
So a lot of people used to say to me that my bestfriend is using me but I couldn’t see it. However, whenever she needed me I was there for her; I even booked a holiday for her (fully paid) and now she goes it seems highly unlikely that she’ll be to come - seems like someone is filling her ears against me or something as she’s always wanted to go on holiday etc and especially when you fully pay for the holiday, why would one refuse?
I don’t know what to do as I love my bestfriend to bits and care for her but it seems like it’s a one way friendship - like she’ll always ask for help and I’ll be willing to help.
I need your help as I am slightly indecisive whether to break the friendship or carry on - I just feel like I’ll miss her as I’ve had this attachment; she always says she loves and cares for me in return as well but it doesn’t seem legit to me. I’m such a good friend but don’t know why people love to use and abuse the friendship.
What should I do? I’m getting severe anxiety


Balance it up. Is she there for you and would do the same things you would do for her?
Depending on who the people were telling you she might not be a good friend typically if you have more than one person telling you that it’s likely true to some degree
Reply 2
Original post by MiaALD91
Balance it up. Is she there for you and would do the same things you would do for her?
Depending on who the people were telling you she might not be a good friend typically if you have more than one person telling you that it’s likely true to some degree


Like when she wants to be she’s the nicest person ever with a heart of gold but she’s very self centre and people say she comes across selfish - I’m just hurt that we were suppose to have so many things booked for the summer and she didn’t have the audacity to tell me…..I just feel hurt and don’t want to make any rationale decisions; she’s not even apologetic 😔
Original post by Anonymous
Like when she wants to be she’s the nicest person ever with a heart of gold but she’s very self centre and people say she comes across selfish - I’m just hurt that we were suppose to have so many things booked for the summer and she didn’t have the audacity to tell me…..I just feel hurt and don’t want to make any rationale decisions; she’s not even apologetic 😔


My best friend for 6 years was a self absorbed manipulative (much more I can’t say). I was always aware of who she was but it was better than being alone in school. Similarly she could be nice but could also be completely self absorbed and would similarly just drop me and was never apologetic.

If this is out the norm for her there may be something going on but if it has happened before that’s different.

You don’t necessarily have to just drop her as that can be hard. With the summer coming up it might be easier to sort of phase the friendship out if that’s the route you decide
Reply 4
Original post by MiaALD91
My best friend for 6 years was a self absorbed manipulative (much more I can’t say). I was always aware of who she was but it was better than being alone in school. Similarly she could be nice but could also be completely self absorbed and would similarly just drop me and was never apologetic.
If this is out the norm for her there may be something going on but if it has happened before that’s different.
You don’t necessarily have to just drop her as that can be hard. With the summer coming up it might be easier to sort of phase the friendship out if that’s the route you decide


I’m so sorry to hear this and I hope you are okay! Yeah, my case is the exact same like she’ll treat me like crap but with others she’ll be absolutely fine but later regrets and apologises only if it suits her.

This has happened the first time and I think her partner or something is going on; seems like she’s unable to make decisions herself and she needs him to make decisions on her behalf.

I know, I’m really struggling, since she messaged, I just don’t feel like responding to her as it’s painful as I won’t be able to get the money back and the struggle I had to go through to get annual leave.
Original post by Anonymous
I’m so sorry to hear this and I hope you are okay! Yeah, my case is the exact same like she’ll treat me like crap but with others she’ll be absolutely fine but later regrets and apologises only if it suits her.
This has happened the first time and I think her partner or something is going on; seems like she’s unable to make decisions herself and she needs him to make decisions on her behalf.
I know, I’m really struggling, since she messaged, I just don’t feel like responding to her as it’s painful as I won’t be able to get the money back and the struggle I had to go through to get annual leave.


That is definitely a big thing when people get a partner they can become very… like that. But if she’s the sort of person who would drop u for a bf she ain’t worth your time
Original post by Anonymous
I’m so sorry to hear this and I hope you are okay! Yeah, my case is the exact same like she’ll treat me like crap but with others she’ll be absolutely fine but later regrets and apologises only if it suits her.
This has happened the first time and I think her partner or something is going on; seems like she’s unable to make decisions herself and she needs him to make decisions on her behalf.
I know, I’m really struggling, since she messaged, I just don’t feel like responding to her as it’s painful as I won’t be able to get the money back and the struggle I had to go through to get annual leave.


Oh and thanks bye but tbh I always knew what she was like and I just ended up finding it funny 😂

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