The Student Room Group

Trying to make sense of my messed up life

Has anyone else been in this situation before?
Reply 1
Original post by Anonymous
Has anyone else been in this situation before?

yes
and usually it takes a really long time
sometimes it just clicks
But you should always keep trying, and when you look back, you will feel great about how you overcame your messed-up life.
there will always be obstacles in life, but the key is how we overcome them
I hope this helps
reply if u have any questions
Reply 2
It depends what you call 'messed up'

You can have regrets, but often regret (and the associated depression) is anchored in living a life defined by how you think about it - an illness, an event, a set back that disproportionately overpowers your view of the 'today' Using a life event to 'live by' anchors your whole outlook and can stop you looking forward and having any hope for tomorrow.

By all means learn from your mistakes if you can. Work out when the 'film' of your life to date changed for you. Was it from happy to sad; good to bad? Why did it get so bad? What could you have done differently? You might not be able to control anything about illness and it can be tragic to succumb to diseases or illness, but you can be determined to change your life narrative if you want to. You can make sure you eat whole foods, learn to cook, treasure your body (whatever still works) and give it the best opportunity to try and boost your immune system. What have you learned about yourself? Was this about anger, violence, drugs? Get support to want to change an aspect of your life. If it is about pain, emotional or physical, seek self help groups and get professional medical help and advice. Then start again and be determined never to repeat the mistake or follow the same mistakes again. If you keep making the same mistakes over and over again then you may have to understand what tilted aspect of your psyche or personality makes you keep doing this?

But - you have to get up, brush yourself down and keep going. That is life. You might only have today to live and do all the things you have ever wanted to. Life is very short, and our time on this planet is unknown. Plan today and do it tomorrow. Link into help and support offered by others. If you don't have hope, and don't look forward to a better day tomorrow you will have a very difficult life. When you do achieve a small success, celebrate (a lot)
Reply 3
Original post by JF ZAK
yes
and usually it takes a really long time
sometimes it just clicks
But you should always keep trying, and when you look back, you will feel great about how you overcame your messed-up life.
there will always be obstacles in life, but the key is how we overcome them
I hope this helps
reply if u have any questions




I've lost friendships, came out of an abusive relationship and feel like a burden to everyone around me. Failing uni too and feel like an utter shitshow
Reply 4
Original post by Muttly
It depends what you call 'messed up'

You can have regrets, but often regret (and the associated depression) is anchored in living a life defined by how you think about it - an illness, an event, a set back that disproportionately overpowers your view of the 'today' Using a life event to 'live by' anchors your whole outlook and can stop you looking forward and having any hope for tomorrow.

By all means learn from your mistakes if you can. Work out when the 'film' of your life to date changed for you. Was it from happy to sad; good to bad? Why did it get so bad? What could you have done differently? You might not be able to control anything about illness and it can be tragic to succumb to diseases or illness, but you can be determined to change your life narrative if you want to. You can make sure you eat whole foods, learn to cook, treasure your body (whatever still works) and give it the best opportunity to try and boost your immune system. What have you learned about yourself? Was this about anger, violence, drugs? Get support to want to change an aspect of your life. If it is about pain, emotional or physical, seek self help groups and get professional medical help and advice. Then start again and be determined never to repeat the mistake or follow the same mistakes again. If you keep making the same mistakes over and over again then you may have to understand what tilted aspect of your psyche or personality makes you keep doing this?

But - you have to get up, brush yourself down and keep going. That is life. You might only have today to live and do all the things you have ever wanted to. Life is very short, and our time on this planet is unknown. Plan today and do it tomorrow. Link into help and support offered by others. If you don't have hope, and don't look forward to a better day tomorrow you will have a very difficult life. When you do achieve a small success, celebrate (a lot)


Thank you for the kind words. I went through a lot of abuse and blackmail that affefted other areas of my life
Reply 5
Original post by Anonymous
I've lost friendships, came out of an abusive relationship and feel like a burden to everyone around me. Failing uni too and feel like an utter shitshow

Hey there, I'm really sorry to hear that you're going through such a tough time. It sounds like you've been dealing with a lot of heavy stuff, and it's totally understandable that you're feeling overwhelmed. Just know that you're not alone in feeling this way, and it's okay to struggle sometimes.
I remember a time when I felt like everything was falling apart around me, and I didn't know how to pick up the pieces. But eventually, with the support of friends and family, I was able to start putting things back together. It's a process, and it takes time, but you'll get there.
As for feeling like a burden, please know that you are not. True friends and loved ones will always be there for you, no matter what. And failing uni is not the end of the world - there are always options and opportunities to turn things around.
Take a deep breath, be kind to yourself, and remember that you are stronger than you think. You've already made it through so much, and you have the strength to keep going. Sending you lots of love and support. You've got this.
Reply 6
Original post by JF ZAK
Hey there, I'm really sorry to hear that you're going through such a tough time. It sounds like you've been dealing with a lot of heavy stuff, and it's totally understandable that you're feeling overwhelmed. Just know that you're not alone in feeling this way, and it's okay to struggle sometimes.
I remember a time when I felt like everything was falling apart around me, and I didn't know how to pick up the pieces. But eventually, with the support of friends and family, I was able to start putting things back together. It's a process, and it takes time, but you'll get there.
As for feeling like a burden, please know that you are not. True friends and loved ones will always be there for you, no matter what. And failing uni is not the end of the world - there are always options and opportunities to turn things around.
Take a deep breath, be kind to yourself, and remember that you are stronger than you think. You've already made it through so much, and you have the strength to keep going. Sending you lots of love and support. You've got this.


How long did it take you if you don't mind saying?
Reply 7
Original post by Anonymous
How long did it take you if you don't mind saying?

the truth is, im still working on it
but it did take a few months for me to realize that this is not really the end
Reply 8
Original post by JF ZAK
the truth is, im still working on it
but it did take a few months for me to realize that this is not really the end


Thanks for the kind words

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