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Social anxiety

I think I have social anxiety even in college I would get so nervous when answering questions, asking the teacher for help or asking to use the bathroom, I can’t really hold conversations or make friends it kind of effects my self esteem because I feel like people don’t like me then please give adviceeee!!!!!!
Reply 1
Original post by Amber28x
I think I have social anxiety even in college I would get so nervous when answering questions, asking the teacher for help or asking to use the bathroom, I can’t really hold conversations or make friends it kind of effects my self esteem because I feel like people don’t like me then please give adviceeee!!!!!!

honestly I'm exactly the same and it's a constant struggle+ the worst is avoiding people as you assume they dislike you only to realise later that you were really similar and could of been besties. honestly i guess theres no other option but to keep going and try to develop strategies that work for you personally and have so much determination as tbh it never gets easier you just get better at it
Original post by Amber28x
I think I have social anxiety even in college I would get so nervous when answering questions, asking the teacher for help or asking to use the bathroom, I can’t really hold conversations or make friends it kind of effects my self esteem because I feel like people don’t like me then please give adviceeee!!!!!!


The best and most effective advice I could give is to “humanise everyone”.

Everyone is human, not just you. They have conscious thoughts, worries and doubts, just like you. You aren’t special, neither are you different.

For example if you’re anxious to speak to people, think of something cringe or embarrassing you’ve said before and how it made you feel, and then how you think people would react to it. Then think of the same thing, but instead this time someone saying that thing to you. When it comes from someone else it’s much less deeper than when it comes from you, but to everybody else you are the “someone saying the thing” (to you). Your actions/words are not their priority like their own are, stop caring so much or imaging yourself, in people’s minds, as being on a pedestal, because in reality you’re just another side character in their story. Enjoy yourself and be yourself, don’t be scared and don’t think too much. Overthinking kills hopes and dreams, even when they are very still much alive.

Also, speaking one to one with someone about these things is so important. That could be your friend or a professional, doesn’t matter, because it’s all about perspectives and it’s much easier to understand when it’s a human live in the flesh rather than an account on an online website/forum blurting out lines of code.
Reply 3
Original post by Albert_burdett
The best and most effective advice I could give is to “humanise everyone”.
Everyone is human, not just you. They have conscious thoughts, worries and doubts, just like you. You aren’t special, neither are you different.
For example if you’re anxious to speak to people, think of something cringe or embarrassing you’ve said before and how it made you feel, and then how you think people would react to it. Then think of the same thing, but instead this time someone saying that thing to you. When it comes from someone else it’s much less deeper than when it comes from you, but to everybody else you are the “someone saying the thing” (to you). Your actions/words are not their priority like their own are, stop caring so much or imaging yourself, in people’s minds, as being on a pedestal, because in reality you’re just another side character in their story. Enjoy yourself and be yourself, don’t be scared and don’t think too much. Overthinking kills hopes and dreams, even when they are very still much alive.
Also, speaking one to one with someone about these things is so important. That could be your friend or a professional, doesn’t matter, because it’s all about perspectives and it’s much easier to understand when it’s a human live in the flesh rather than an account on an online website/forum blurting out lines of code.


I think it’s easy to say but when I’m actually in the situation it’s harder to think about what you said I don’t really feel like thinking of something cringe or embarrassing I have done will really help me I think it would make me more anxious.
Original post by Amber28x
I think it’s easy to say but when I’m actually in the situation it’s harder to think about what you said I don’t really feel like thinking of something cringe or embarrassing I have done will really help me I think it would make me more anxious.


I get what you’re saying, but it’s okay to say cringe stuff, that’s the whole point of getting better social skills. You can’t lock yourself away for the rest of your life, it’s gonna damage your future serious bad. Get socialising more, join clubs and social events. Doesn’t have to be parties, but just something.
Original post by Amber28x
I think I have social anxiety even in college I would get so nervous when answering questions, asking the teacher for help or asking to use the bathroom, I can’t really hold conversations or make friends it kind of effects my self esteem because I feel like people don’t like me then please give adviceeee!!!!!!

The best way to relieve symptoms is to force yourself through uncomfortable situations rather than avoiding them. I find that social anxiety is at its peak with people in their late teens. With more exposure to social situations, you will feel more confident. You don't need to love or like yourself, as long as you accept yourself for who you are, that is all that matters in the long run.
Reply 6
Original post by Amber28x
I think I have social anxiety even in college I would get so nervous when answering questions, asking the teacher for help or asking to use the bathroom, I can’t really hold conversations or make friends it kind of effects my self esteem because I feel like people don’t like me then please give adviceeee!!!!!!

Social skills:

Be open, relaxed, approachable, friendly, lighten up

0) You can try nlp exercises, meditation, breathing techniques, visualisation. You can read books on this subject and there is a wealth of resources on the internet, youtube regarding this subject.

1) Relax, imagine you're just observing or there as a traveller. For example, if you are on holiday, you go there to experience and observe the attraction, you're not going to get anxious doing that are you?

2) Smile, smiling in contagious.

3) Be confident, respect yourself, accept yourself, work out, wear good clothes, feel good, focus on your passions, know you are a good person who treats people well, you have got as much right as everyone else.Think positively, be proud of yourself, do things that make you happy, remember your happy times, what makes you confident? What makes you proud? Do you have a skill you are good at? Do things like cooking, driving, learning that increases your confidence daily. Relax.Have good posture, body language, improve your appearance. Be happy with yourself.

4) Dress well, have good grooming, hairstyle, have good posture.

5) Just say hi or hey to people in your vicinity, who cares if they don't say anything back?

6) Ask how they are, how's everything, how's it going, what's the latest, what made them choose this course, their plans for the future, their plans for the rest of the day, weekend, how was their weekend, their day, what they will get up to, what they got up to, ask them about their hobbies, talk about what's happening. You could read up on current affairs.Talk about the weather or did you see that sports game? Just mingle with them,Compliment them, say "I like your jacket".If you know they went on a holiday or somewhere, ask them about it etc.

7) Be passionate about life.

8) In group discussions, relax and talk to someone close or if someone says something you know, you can talk then. Stay relaxed.

9) Lighten up, have a laugh, laugh easily, be friendly, approachable, interested, relaxed.

10) You can write things down and come up with a rational reframed response, keep a journal of your thoughts, reach out to people slowly

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