Making friends at uni
I’m going to uni next year but recently i’ve seen a lot of people on tiktok and instagram saying how they found it impossible to make friends. I get the importance of joining clubs and activities to meet new people but I sometimes get social anxiety and I struggle to push myself to try new things. Do you think this will be a problem? Do people generally make friends naturally or is it something you have to try really hard to do?
Reply 1
i was an anxious student
but honestly, there's loads of people in the same boat
you do you, whatever floats your boat socialising wise, as slow or as fast as you want to integrate into social circles
tiktok people with thousands of views are just begging for attention, they cant be that lonely, so take those vids with a pinch of salt
its a once i a lifetime experience, take a deep breath and have fun as much as you can, however you define it
but honestly, there's loads of people in the same boat
you do you, whatever floats your boat socialising wise, as slow or as fast as you want to integrate into social circles
tiktok people with thousands of views are just begging for attention, they cant be that lonely, so take those vids with a pinch of salt
its a once i a lifetime experience, take a deep breath and have fun as much as you can, however you define it
Reply 2
Original post by Anonymous
I’m going to uni next year but recently i’ve seen a lot of people on tiktok and instagram saying how they found it impossible to make friends. I get the importance of joining clubs and activities to meet new people but I sometimes get social anxiety and I struggle to push myself to try new things. Do you think this will be a problem? Do people generally make friends naturally or is it something you have to try really hard to do?
Hey!
There are multiple different ways of making friends which don't have to include joining societies or sports teams this can be: if you are living in student accommodation you usually meet a handful of people as you would socialize with your flat and also sometimes your floor as well. There is also the opportunity to make friends on your course and across courses if you have shared modules. Its rather easy to makes friends on your course due to freshers week mainly including ice breakers and group activities.
Please don't stress over the idea of making friends you have plenty of time to make them and I would say it is natural as you talk to people more you become friends. I would say freshers week is a bit more of forcing friendships just because your talking to so many different people and everyone is in the same boat of wanting to make friends.
I would recommend you at least having a look at the societies and sport teams and seeing if any would be of interest however if there aren't any don't force yourself to join them. I just think societies and sport teams are a great way of making friends or even just meeting new people. But you can always leave them if you don't want to stay there is no pressure on it.
Hopefully that was somewhat useful let me know if you have further questions!
Rebecca
3rd Year Geoenvironmental Hazards Student
Reply 3
Original post by Anonymous
I’m going to uni next year but recently i’ve seen a lot of people on tiktok and instagram saying how they found it impossible to make friends. I get the importance of joining clubs and activities to meet new people but I sometimes get social anxiety and I struggle to push myself to try new things. Do you think this will be a problem? Do people generally make friends naturally or is it something you have to try really hard to do?
Hi Anon,
I admit that it can get very anxiety-inducing and overwhelming to make new friends in university, not everyone has it the same way and some may find making friends in uni to be more difficult than others. In my case, I would force myself into situations I wouldn't normally find myself in (like join societies) and approach students to friendly greet them. It took lots of back and forth before I said "hi" to any of them, but what kept me going was the idea that, we're all in our first year of university, and we're all here to make friends. We're all in the same situation, and nobody will judge me for greeting them.
I think when you subconsciously keep in mind that everyone is at uni to make new friends, it gets a lot less intimidating knowing that sometimes inserting yourself into a social situation wouldn't be too scary.
Hope this helps,
Danish
BCU Student Rep
Original post by Anonymous
I’m going to uni next year but recently i’ve seen a lot of people on tiktok and instagram saying how they found it impossible to make friends. I get the importance of joining clubs and activities to meet new people but I sometimes get social anxiety and I struggle to push myself to try new things. Do you think this will be a problem? Do people generally make friends naturally or is it something you have to try really hard to do?
Anxious student here!
I found joining a club really helped me as there's already that common interest in place but I totally understand it can be difficult to push yourself. You will make friends naturally, especially in your flat and on your course but you may have to make the first move every now and then.
Becoming a student ambassador is another fun way to make friends and you get paid!
Original post by Anonymous
I’m going to uni next year but recently i’ve seen a lot of people on tiktok and instagram saying how they found it impossible to make friends. I get the importance of joining clubs and activities to meet new people but I sometimes get social anxiety and I struggle to push myself to try new things. Do you think this will be a problem? Do people generally make friends naturally or is it something you have to try really hard to do?
Hi there, I joined university two years ago and I felt exactly the same! I've always found it hard to make friends and felt held back by social anxiety. Everyone's experience joining uni and making friends is completely different but I can guarantee that most of the people you will meet feel exactly the same.
Here are some things I'd like to suggest based on what helped me:
•
If you're staying in halls I would suggest attending any events held or visiting any common rooms that are available. Everyone will be looking to meet people so by hanging out at these events or in the communal areas you're very likely to bump into some people and don't be afraid to make the first move and just say hi!
•
If you are in a flat I would suggest sitting in the kitchen while you eat to meet flatmates who will also be coming in for food and maybe wedging open your door in the day so others feel more welcome to pop in and say hi (depending on how comfortable you are with this).
•
Definitely join a society if you find something that interests you as this will help you meet people with similar interests which gives you something to talk about!
•
Attend any student union or university events.
•
Visit the on campus university bar (if they have one, here at Southampton we have Stags where I have met some of my closest friends).
•
If you join a society definitely definitely attend a social (whether drinking is for you or not it is a brilliant way to get to know people casually and bond).
•
In lectures try sitting next to someone new and use your course as a way to start a conversation
You will likely have to go out of your comfort zone if you want to meet people but only do what you are comfortable with. People will likely come to you so don't be afraid to engage in conversation and see where it goes. It is pretty typical for people to start by asking what course you are taking or where you have come from so use these if you want to use something easy to approach someone and start a conversation.
I hope some of this helps!
Kim (Second year rep)
Reply 6
Hi anonymous #1,
I agree with everyone else! You're all in the same boat at uni, and pretty much everyone is open to making friends. I wouldn't put too much pressure on yourself to find your people right away, and don't be disheartened if you don't. I wasn't very good friends with my flatmates, but after first term I'd formed really strong friendships with my course mates and others I'd met through societies/just at uni.
Bottom line, my advice is to be friendly and chatty when you feel comfortable and you'll find your people!
All the best,
Sophie, University of Exeter student ambassador
I agree with everyone else! You're all in the same boat at uni, and pretty much everyone is open to making friends. I wouldn't put too much pressure on yourself to find your people right away, and don't be disheartened if you don't. I wasn't very good friends with my flatmates, but after first term I'd formed really strong friendships with my course mates and others I'd met through societies/just at uni.
Bottom line, my advice is to be friendly and chatty when you feel comfortable and you'll find your people!
All the best,
Sophie, University of Exeter student ambassador
Reply 7
Original post by Anonymous
I’m going to uni next year but recently i’ve seen a lot of people on tiktok and instagram saying how they found it impossible to make friends. I get the importance of joining clubs and activities to meet new people but I sometimes get social anxiety and I struggle to push myself to try new things. Do you think this will be a problem? Do people generally make friends naturally or is it something you have to try really hard to do?
Hi there,
It is totally normal to feel nervous about making friends at university, but just remember that everyone is in the same boat!
For me, I was lucky to only have to push myself fully out of my comfort zone right at the beginning. After I moved in, and after a lot of pep-talks from myself, I encouraged myself to go downstairs to the common room to say 'hi' to everyone moving in. From there, I was invited to lunch on-campus and got a few people's socials, which made it so much easier to develop friendships.
Joining sports, societies, and clubs; going to activities on- and off-campus; finding part-time work; volunteering; and doing things like talking to people in your accommodation and on your course are all ways to find new friends. Sometimes it can be easy, and sometimes it might take some more work. It really depends!
If you're especially nervous, try to take it slow to begin with. Maybe smile and say 'hi' to someone on your course, or sit next to someone new. Talk about course materials, or make small talk in the shared kitchen with those in your accommodation! The little things can lead to great friendships, so don't forget that.
University can be a wonderful experience, but it is truly what you make it. If you put the effort in, you will get great things in return.
Best of luck,
Isabella
Third-year Geography with a Year Abroad Student
Original post by Anonymous
I’m going to uni next year but recently i’ve seen a lot of people on tiktok and instagram saying how they found it impossible to make friends. I get the importance of joining clubs and activities to meet new people but I sometimes get social anxiety and I struggle to push myself to try new things. Do you think this will be a problem? Do people generally make friends naturally or is it something you have to try really hard to do?
Hi there,
Finding friends at university is a very straightforward thing
Simply try to engage with people, do not be afraid to communicate, as it is very likely that they feel exactly the same way as you. Be open for new interactions.
And yes, student societies and events do help a lot with meeting new people and building strong connections.
So, my main advice for you is to be yourself and to be open with others.
Take care,
Ilya
Reply 9
Original post by Anonymous
I’m going to uni next year but recently i’ve seen a lot of people on tiktok and instagram saying how they found it impossible to make friends. I get the importance of joining clubs and activities to meet new people but I sometimes get social anxiety and I struggle to push myself to try new things. Do you think this will be a problem? Do people generally make friends naturally or is it something you have to try really hard to do?
I know it can feel daunting thinking about making friends at uni but try not to worry too much as there are plenty of opportunities to make friends! Here are some ways I would suggest making friends:
•
join a society! They are great ways of meeting lots of like minded people to yourself and there will be lots of people there so it is likely that you will get along with some of them at least. It’s also just a good way of doing something fun and getting out of your house for a bit to do something you enjoy. The socials are fun too and you will meet people here too!
•
in freshers week try and spend as much time in social areas around your flat and building as much as you can/ would like to as this is how you will meet people and make friends with your flatmates. Of course you can spend time in your room too but it’s a good chance to meet people and make friends.
•
ask your course friends to meet up with you. After uni, ask them if they want to go out for food or even just go to the library to work on assignments together so you can get to know them better! They will likely say yes so it’s worth asking.
•
put yourself out there a bit! It can be scary, especially if you are not used to doing it and it feels daunting for you but in freshers week especially, everyone wants to make friends so nobody would think it was strange for you to ask to meet up and they would most likely want to do it!
•
It sounds obvious but make sure you are attending uni! Try and sit next to new people in your classes and just talk to them as this is one of the best ways of meeting people and making friends with them. Again, everyone will want to make friends so they will talk to you!
I hope some of this helps and try not to worry too much about what you see on social media as that is just one persons experience!
Lucy - SHU student ambassador 🙂
Reply 10
Original post by Anonymous
I’m going to uni next year but recently i’ve seen a lot of people on tiktok and instagram saying how they found it impossible to make friends. I get the importance of joining clubs and activities to meet new people but I sometimes get social anxiety and I struggle to push myself to try new things. Do you think this will be a problem? Do people generally make friends naturally or is it something you have to try really hard to do?
Hi Anon,
I felt exactly the same a year ago. However here are a some ways I grew my confidence and made friends! 😃
Societies
This was my favourite way to meet people. Everyone is there to socialise and you all have a shared interest, so it's such a welcoming environment. I highly recommend getting involved and you also may make a few new hobbies/interests along the way!
Classes
This is an excellent opportunity to make friends as you are with each other most days of the week. The course is a common point of interest, which I personally use as an easy talking point to spark a conversation.
Freshers
Most universities host an abundance of events during freshers week. These group together large amounts of new students and everyone is in the same boat. Take the opportunity to put yourself out there during this time and you will be surprised the friends you can make!
Facebook groups
Some universities set up Facebook groups for each school within the university. This can give you a chance to speak to other students before even stepping foot on campus!
The most important piece of advice is don't stress! You will meet some amazing people. 😊
Hopefully this helps, please feel free to ask me any questions,
-Sophia (Business and Management)
Original post by Anonymous
I’m going to uni next year but recently i’ve seen a lot of people on tiktok and instagram saying how they found it impossible to make friends. I get the importance of joining clubs and activities to meet new people but I sometimes get social anxiety and I struggle to push myself to try new things. Do you think this will be a problem? Do people generally make friends naturally or is it something you have to try really hard to do?
Hello!
I found that the first few weeks of uni everyone is in the same position and is so keen to make friends that everyone will speak to everyone and you will naturally form friendships with the people you get on most with from your flat and your course. As you said joining societies can also help as you will all share a common interest so can make the first few conversations easier!
The university will also put on lots of events throughout the year and especially during freshers week which will be another opportunity to make friends or go with your flatmates to form closer friendships!
Ultimately you won’t be alone in how you feel and lots of people will be in the same boat.
Hope this helps,
Lucy (Lancaster University Student Ambassador)
Reply 12
Original post by Anonymous
I’m going to uni next year but recently i’ve seen a lot of people on tiktok and instagram saying how they found it impossible to make friends. I get the importance of joining clubs and activities to meet new people but I sometimes get social anxiety and I struggle to push myself to try new things. Do you think this will be a problem? Do people generally make friends naturally or is it something you have to try really hard to do?
Hi
It can be really nerve-racking starting university for the first time, moving away from home, or even starting university a bit later in life than most people, all these feelings are totally normal in this situation, but please remember there are lots of people in this situation.
I went through this last year as I was the only one from my school to go to my university, here are a few things that I did to try to put myself out there and make new friends.
•
Attended as many different freshers' events as I could.
•
Spoke to people in my flat to create new friendships.
•
Joined different sports teams and societies
•
Went to social events put on by my course
What advice would you give to any new students starting in September?
Hope this helps
Matt
1st Year Physiotherapy Student
Wrexham Uni Reps
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