Okay so I want to preface this by saying that I don't usually get crushes very easily, I'm very work oriented and have spent alot of my school days just studying. It's now that I'm almost going to uni that I realised that I should probably venture outside my bubble and pursue a relationship. To be honest, after telling myself that there wasn't a lot of progress that was made. I went about my day and tried to talk to people in hopes of feeling a spark but it just wasn't there. Sure, there are many attractive people around me but I want to feel connected to someone and looks isn't a dealbreaker for me.
It was until I signed up for a cambridge conference trip with my college that things changed. The conference pretty well, but it was when we were on the coach ride home that I felt something spark. We were a small group of people who went on the trip and so we all huddled together and played card games. It was so much fun and I made so many friends. I eventually noticed something, (ik it sounds cringe but istg it felt magical) twinkling eyes and the most beautiful smile. I felt a spark. I asked him for his name in a way that didn't feel suspicious.
When we got back I could feel a pair of eyes staring. It was him but he quickly looked away and started walking home with his friend. I felt like I was alive again.
Over the next few weeks, I tried to find him walking around college and I did, multiple times. I was crushing hard, you could say and it got to the point that I wanted to confess to him. And a little side note, I've been rejected many times by my crushes so much so that it doesn't phase me
ig life just moves on and thats okay. So thats why I decided to find a way to message him. I tried finding his socials but it was as if he didnt exist on the internet. Then, I remembered that he has a college email and begged one of his friends to give it to me. I emailed him from a fake email and wrote "I think you're cute" and we started emailing back and forth until he found out who I was and gave me his snap.
I confessed to him once he added me on snap and he didn't say anything back, he wasnt rude at all but after a few mins of conversation we both decided to unfriend each other. He wasn't rude about it, all he said was that he's not dating right now. I respected his decisions and that was the end of that?
WRONG. I was bummed that he didn't like me but I didn't let it phase me and all was well. Until one day... I was walking out of chemistry and as I walked out my bsf elbowed me. I shook it off until she elbowed me again and this was our convo;
"Are you slow?"
"What are you talking about, and stop nudging me ow"
"He was stood outside of ur class and kept looking in and you just walked right past him"
"You're crazy"
She wasn't crazy, because after that day I began to see him everywhere. We would catch each other staring and it went on for months. Until one day, I came early to lesson so our teacher had the door open to allow other students to come in and I saw that he was lining up outside his class in the corridor (he was right outside the door). He kept looking then looking away until we locked eyes for 10 seconds ( my bsf counted idk why omg) and then he went into his class. After that, we keep catching each other staring but neither of us has said anything.
I know this is such a stupid question but I am so confused as to where I stand. Does he like me or is this all in my head. I'm not so sure and I'm finding it hard to concentrate on my studies.
All and any advice/constructive criticism is welcome!