Should I go for it or not?

I met this girl a short while ago and to begin with we hit things off really well. The dates were great and I felt we had a strong connection. After our last date I started to develop feelings for her, but unfortunately for me she decided she didn’t want to pursue things any further. She didn’t delve into the reasons too much, but I got the sense she felt too overwhelmed. Anyway, after we stopped seeing each other she was interested in staying in touch. Whilst initially I was against the idea, as she was a great person I told her I was happy to remain friends with her.

So, for the past two months while I have been dating other girls we have remained in contact with each other mainly to check in and have a casual convo. At first I was happy with this just being friends, but the past week or so things have changed. She has been on my mind quite a bit and my feelings I had for her before have started to resurface. In all honesty I don’t really want to just be friends with her anymore and I’m kind of tempted to see if she wants to try things again. As I'm currently not seeing anyone and I don't think she is either, I think there is no harm in asking. If she does say no then that's perfectly fine and I'll just move on fully.

The only thing I don’t really know is what exactly I should message her.

Reply 1

jelllyfiiish

Life & Style Forum Helper

Original post by Anonymous

I met this girl a short while ago and to begin with we hit things off really well. The dates were great and I felt we had a strong connection. After our last date I started to develop feelings for her, but unfortunately for me she decided she didn’t want to pursue things any further. She didn’t delve into the reasons too much, but I got the sense she felt too overwhelmed. Anyway, after we stopped seeing each other she was interested in staying in touch. Whilst initially I was against the idea, as she was a great person I told her I was happy to remain friends with her.
So, for the past two months while I have been dating other girls we have remained in contact with each other mainly to check in and have a casual convo. At first I was happy with this just being friends, but the past week or so things have changed. She has been on my mind quite a bit and my feelings I had for her before have started to resurface. In all honesty I don’t really want to just be friends with her anymore and I’m kind of tempted to see if she wants to try things again. As I'm currently not seeing anyone and I don't think she is either, I think there is no harm in asking. If she does say no then that's perfectly fine and I'll just move on fully.
The only thing I don’t really know is what exactly I should message her.

That sounds reasonable and a responsible consideration towards a conclusion. In my own opinion, you should go for it as you never know what may happen between you both!
Perhaps you could start off with a friendly conversation and slowly link towards to the idea of having to need to talk about something important (your feelings + thoughts).

Make sure to keep things comfortable and I wish you all the best.
Good luck! :biggrin:

Reply 2

Serene Dreams

For sure. I mean you clearly don't want to be just friends so if she doesn't return your feelings, you really just have to end it here. She doesn't owe you anything and you don't owe her a friendship if what you really want is a relationship. And you need closure to properly date others/ give other people a decent chance.

Reply 3

Zarek

Have you any reason to suspect she might have changed her mind. The harm in asking is the knock to your morale and recovery if she rejects you again. Probably the best thing is to leave the ball in her court. But if you can’t do that, maybe suggest going for a drink, see if she’s up for that, and what happens next