Parents won’t allow me taking Bio and Chem for dentistry
I’ve just finished Year 11 and my GCSEs, and I told my parents I want to do Biology and Chemistry for my A-Levels so I could pursue dentistry. However, my mum and brother are insistent on me taking IT because I took computer science at GCSE. I’ve told them that I really don’t want to do IT because I just don’t have much of an interest in it, and want to do something like dentistry. It has taken weeks trying to convince them but to no avail, only my dad has supported me from the start. In the end, I had an intense breakdown saying things I shouldn’t have. I’m just really disappointed because they have never once asked me what I want to do in life and want me to follow their set path.
Furthermore, they said that even if I did get a place in university, I wouldn’t get any financial support from them and would have to do everything myself. I’m completely lost and not sure what to do, I have nobody to talk to or let out my feelings with.
Furthermore, they said that even if I did get a place in university, I wouldn’t get any financial support from them and would have to do everything myself. I’m completely lost and not sure what to do, I have nobody to talk to or let out my feelings with.
Reply 1
I think you should try to communicate with your family and express that it is your ambition to study dentistry, this is what I’m passionate about. I don’t see a point in studying something I have no interest in so I ask you to support me.
Try explaining it will be you who will have to study and how are you supposed to study something you have no interest in? Explain you’ll have to work in a field that you don’t want to which would mean working in a job you will hate going to every morning.
From a families perspective I understand they have their intended paths but ultimately it is YOUR life and a career YOU will be working in.
So personally I would chase my dreams!
Try explaining it will be you who will have to study and how are you supposed to study something you have no interest in? Explain you’ll have to work in a field that you don’t want to which would mean working in a job you will hate going to every morning.
From a families perspective I understand they have their intended paths but ultimately it is YOUR life and a career YOU will be working in.
So personally I would chase my dreams!
Reply 2
22
Ultimately it's your decision what A-levels you take. Parents can't stop you there.
University finances are more of an issue - do you expect to be eligible for a higher maintenance loan and/or bursaries? The government assumes that parents will support their children financially when attending university, but they are not forced to do so. The standard maintenance loan is, by design, not enough. With no support whatsoever, you would likely need to defer for a year, get a job and save some money, and work part-time while at university. If, after a couple of years, you've had no contact with them whatsoever, you might be eligible for additional support as an estranged student - but that's obviously a pretty bad situation to be in.
University finances are more of an issue - do you expect to be eligible for a higher maintenance loan and/or bursaries? The government assumes that parents will support their children financially when attending university, but they are not forced to do so. The standard maintenance loan is, by design, not enough. With no support whatsoever, you would likely need to defer for a year, get a job and save some money, and work part-time while at university. If, after a couple of years, you've had no contact with them whatsoever, you might be eligible for additional support as an estranged student - but that's obviously a pretty bad situation to be in.
Reply 3
Hi, I'm sorry that you're going through this.
I find it a bit strange that they don't want you to pursue A levels like biology and chemistry (aren't these supposed to be the most demanding and therefore most prestigious A levels? lol).
It's a shame they've got this attitude, as to do subjects like medicine or dentistry it's best to make a commitment early on to follow these. On the other hand, traditional qualifications for IT (e.g. A levels, or even degrees) aren't necessary for a career in IT, and most companies tend to favour more industry specific qualifications (e.g. you start with COMPTIA A+ certifications to get the basic IT support jobs, and later work towards Microsoft certifications as well as networking (CISCO CCNA). Even later on, if you decided dentistry wasn't the path for you, it will be far easier to switch from dentistry to IT rather than going the other way round.
I find it a bit strange that they don't want you to pursue A levels like biology and chemistry (aren't these supposed to be the most demanding and therefore most prestigious A levels? lol).
It's a shame they've got this attitude, as to do subjects like medicine or dentistry it's best to make a commitment early on to follow these. On the other hand, traditional qualifications for IT (e.g. A levels, or even degrees) aren't necessary for a career in IT, and most companies tend to favour more industry specific qualifications (e.g. you start with COMPTIA A+ certifications to get the basic IT support jobs, and later work towards Microsoft certifications as well as networking (CISCO CCNA). Even later on, if you decided dentistry wasn't the path for you, it will be far easier to switch from dentistry to IT rather than going the other way round.
Reply 4
Original post by Old Skool Freak
Hi, I'm sorry that you're going through this.
I find it a bit strange that they don't want you to pursue A levels like biology and chemistry (aren't these supposed to be the most demanding and therefore most prestigious A levels? lol).
It's a shame they've got this attitude, as to do subjects like medicine or dentistry it's best to make a commitment early on to follow these. On the other hand, traditional qualifications for IT (e.g. A levels, or even degrees) aren't necessary for a career in IT, and most companies tend to favour more industry specific qualifications (e.g. you start with COMPTIA A+ certifications to get the basic IT support jobs, and later work towards Microsoft certifications as well as networking (CISCO CCNA). Even later on, if you decided dentistry wasn't the path for you, it will be far easier to switch from dentistry to IT rather than going the other way round.
I find it a bit strange that they don't want you to pursue A levels like biology and chemistry (aren't these supposed to be the most demanding and therefore most prestigious A levels? lol).
It's a shame they've got this attitude, as to do subjects like medicine or dentistry it's best to make a commitment early on to follow these. On the other hand, traditional qualifications for IT (e.g. A levels, or even degrees) aren't necessary for a career in IT, and most companies tend to favour more industry specific qualifications (e.g. you start with COMPTIA A+ certifications to get the basic IT support jobs, and later work towards Microsoft certifications as well as networking (CISCO CCNA). Even later on, if you decided dentistry wasn't the path for you, it will be far easier to switch from dentistry to IT rather than going the other way round.
Reply 5
Original post by Sinnoh
Ultimately it's your decision what A-levels you take. Parents can't stop you there.
University finances are more of an issue - do you expect to be eligible for a higher maintenance loan and/or bursaries? The government assumes that parents will support their children financially when attending university, but they are not forced to do so. The standard maintenance loan is, by design, not enough. With no support whatsoever, you would likely need to defer for a year, get a job and save some money, and work part-time while at university. If, after a couple of years, you've had no contact with them whatsoever, you might be eligible for additional support as an estranged student - but that's obviously a pretty bad situation to be in.
University finances are more of an issue - do you expect to be eligible for a higher maintenance loan and/or bursaries? The government assumes that parents will support their children financially when attending university, but they are not forced to do so. The standard maintenance loan is, by design, not enough. With no support whatsoever, you would likely need to defer for a year, get a job and save some money, and work part-time while at university. If, after a couple of years, you've had no contact with them whatsoever, you might be eligible for additional support as an estranged student - but that's obviously a pretty bad situation to be in.
Reply 6
Original post by Anonymous
It’s partly because my brother failed his Maths and Physics A-Levels in Sixth Form and now he’s stuck with the belief that I’ll fail if I take anything STEM related.
More likely he doesn't want you showing him up lol.
The thing with these kind of core-science type subjects is they're very specific, as there are concrete correct answers; unlike social science or essay based subjects, where it's how well you put your point across. If you've got the right head for deciphering formulae and number crunching, it can be very easy to get very high grades, but also makes them much easier to out-right fail them, if you don't have that head.
NGL, when it comes to core-sciences, the jump from GCSE to A levels is very substantial, so it's not completely wrong of them that they should have some concerns (although having a bit more faith and confidence in you wouldn't hurt) . What have your science teachers said to them at parents evenings? What did your brother get at the GCSE's in those subjects? Have they come with you on sixth form / college open days? My sister did dentistry (and she is still a dentist), and one of the things she did was talk a lot to the family dentist and my parents also spoke to them as well. Could you arrange something like that? Obviously they know each other, so it may carry more weight if they hear encouragement from the horses mouth (so-to-speak).
Original post by Anonymous
I live in a low income area and my dad doesn’t work, so I understand why my parents are refusing to pay for university. They want me to get an apprenticeship in IT to start getting money and I’ve thought about it but my heart is stuck on dentistry.
On the other hand, IT is now the largest professional employment sector, as almost all modern businesses are dependent on it in some way (whether that's someone managing the workstations, or looking after their website / social media), and you can also climb the ranks quite quickly; starting salaries are quite modest (circa 20K), but the right person can be on double that in only a few years. As a worst case scenario, would you be prepared to do this for, say 5 years until you've saved enough to put yourself through University? After all, a degree isn't necessary for a successful IT career if you've got the professional certifications I mentioned in my previous post.
(edited 11 months ago)
Reply 7
at the end of the day you do you they’ll eventually forgive you, my dad wanted me to do maths and econ and do finance in uni i did bio and chem for a level and im applying to pharmacy
Reply 8
Original post by Anonymous
I live in a low income area and my dad doesn’t work, so I understand why my parents are refusing to pay for university. They want me to get an apprenticeship in IT to start getting money and I’ve thought about it but my heart is stuck on dentistry.
I'm sorry you're going through this. Like others have said previously, it is ultimately your decision what you take at A Level.
If you live in a low income area, and have only one working parent, your student finance would most likely be Maximum Loan anyway, if that's any consolation? So they wouldn't be paying for your university anyway. You may find you get contextual offers, and bursaries from many universities! You don't need to pay back bursaries, either. York, Cardiff, King's College are just a few I know offer financial help to students with a household income below a certain threshold. There are also scholarships available that you may end up qualifying for.
It's great that your dad is supportive, and I would say study what your heart is telling you to study. You'll do much better in subjects you're passionate about, which you clearly are! 🙂
Reply 9
Unfortunately the sad reality is that our parents won’t be here one day, and our lives will go on regardless. Don’t base your future on what others want for you, you may resent them for it in the future, when in reality it’s your responsibility to make decisions for your life and bear the consequences. Don’t study something you’re not interested in, you’re at a higher risk of dropping out of uni or just all around not enjoying the experience, and considering how much money you’re spending to be there that sounds like a crappy deal. You have to take responsibility for your actions just as your parents do. If they refuse to provide financial support, declare yourself estranged to the local council (try and do it while you’re still 17), they’ll find you free housing and you’ll qualify for the maximum amount of maintenance loan (the money you use to pay for your accommodation and weekly necessities, i.e everything that isn’t tuition fees) when you go to uni. It’s kind of like playing chess. They’ve made their move and unless you make yours they’re probably going to get their way and it’ll change the course of your entire future. I’m pretty sure your parents would rather let you pursue dentistry than lose their daughter.
Reply 10
Original post by ryereine
Unfortunately the sad reality is that our parents won’t be here one day, and our lives will go on regardless. Don’t base your future on what others want for you, you may resent them for it in the future, when in reality it’s your responsibility to make decisions for your life and bear the consequences. Don’t study something you’re not interested in, you’re at a higher risk of dropping out of uni or just all around not enjoying the experience, and considering how much money you’re spending to be there that sounds like a crappy deal. You have to take responsibility for your actions just as your parents do. If they refuse to provide financial support, declare yourself estranged to the local council (try and do it while you’re still 17), they’ll find you free housing and you’ll qualify for the maximum amount of maintenance loan (the money you use to pay for your accommodation and weekly necessities, i.e everything that isn’t tuition fees) when you go to uni. It’s kind of like playing chess. They’ve made their move and unless you make yours they’re probably going to get their way and it’ll change the course of your entire future. I’m pretty sure your parents would rather let you pursue dentistry than lose their daughter.
Message me if you want more info regarding declaring yourself estranged
Reply 11
Original post by Anonymous
I live in a low income area and my dad doesn’t work, so I understand why my parents are refusing to pay for university. They want me to get an apprenticeship in IT to start getting money and I’ve thought about it but my heart is stuck on dentistry.
Ah, they want you to support them. It will take a long time to do that if you take dentistry.
Reply 12
21
You can keep working on your parents, with the argument of investing for the future. Dentistry is a well paid profession. It is fiercely competitive to get a place though. I can appreciate their financial concerns and the appeal of an apprenticeship route.
I would do the A levels which you want to and take things step by step. While it would not be easy to do a five year degree without parental support, there probably is a way to do it. Your parents only need to be prepared to fill in the forms showing low income for you to get maximum loan. Then you could look in to other sponsorship and work part time. Good luck.
I would do the A levels which you want to and take things step by step. While it would not be easy to do a five year degree without parental support, there probably is a way to do it. Your parents only need to be prepared to fill in the forms showing low income for you to get maximum loan. Then you could look in to other sponsorship and work part time. Good luck.
Reply 13
Original post by Anonymous
I’ve just finished Year 11 and my GCSEs, and I told my parents I want to do Biology and Chemistry for my A-Levels so I could pursue dentistry. However, my mum and brother are insistent on me taking IT because I took computer science at GCSE. I’ve told them that I really don’t want to do IT because I just don’t have much of an interest in it, and want to do something like dentistry. It has taken weeks trying to convince them but to no avail, only my dad has supported me from the start. In the end, I had an intense breakdown saying things I shouldn’t have. I’m just really disappointed because they have never once asked me what I want to do in life and want me to follow their set path.
Furthermore, they said that even if I did get a place in university, I wouldn’t get any financial support from them and would have to do everything myself. I’m completely lost and not sure what to do, I have nobody to talk to or let out my feelings with.
Furthermore, they said that even if I did get a place in university, I wouldn’t get any financial support from them and would have to do everything myself. I’m completely lost and not sure what to do, I have nobody to talk to or let out my feelings with.
Just do chemistry, biology, and IT. Problem solved.
Reply 14
Original post by Anonymous
I’ve just finished Year 11 and my GCSEs, and I told my parents I want to do Biology and Chemistry for my A-Levels so I could pursue dentistry. However, my mum and brother are insistent on me taking IT because I took computer science at GCSE. I’ve told them that I really don’t want to do IT because I just don’t have much of an interest in it, and want to do something like dentistry. It has taken weeks trying to convince them but to no avail, only my dad has supported me from the start. In the end, I had an intense breakdown saying things I shouldn’t have. I’m just really disappointed because they have never once asked me what I want to do in life and want me to follow their set path.
Furthermore, they said that even if I did get a place in university, I wouldn’t get any financial support from them and would have to do everything myself. I’m completely lost and not sure what to do, I have nobody to talk to or let out my feelings with.
Furthermore, they said that even if I did get a place in university, I wouldn’t get any financial support from them and would have to do everything myself. I’m completely lost and not sure what to do, I have nobody to talk to or let out my feelings with.
Computer science is a more widely accepted qualifcation than IT. Could your teachers help you to stick up for your choices?
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