Worried about something that happened 18 months ago?

I went to xmas party in 2022 and I remember chatting to a colleague there for ages. He was young and my age and I guess we just had a lot in common (it transpired we went to the same uni).

I have a boyfriend (and we were living together and had been together 7 months at that time) but I never ever told this guy that I had a boyfriend?? I would never cheat on my boyfriend but I have anxiety and sometimes that night I hate myself because why would I not tell this guy?? I didn’t even bring it up.

I also remember that towards the end of the night I was dancing and me and this guy did this dance (not touching each other or anything romantic) but you know the one where you get twirled around? I’ve done it with girl friends too and I wouldn’t consider it romantic but I’m still mortified.

The conversation wasn’t flirty and I had a few drinks and I do remember phoning my boyfriend in the toilets intermittently but I never really check my phone at these work events cos I don’t like to look antisocial.

I love my boyfriend so much, and tbh we we’ve been together over 2 years now but I just worry about that night because it was probably my first night out as a person in a relationship so I worry that I didn’t compose myself like I should’ve done but I didn’t cheat!

Does that make sense and how do I get over it? I don’t think about it all the time but sometimes I’m like ‘ why didn’t I mention my boyfriend at all’… anyway I love my boyfriend to death and I wouldn’t make the same ‘mistake’ again & it transpired that this guy had a girlfriend based in Australia (and he never mentioned her to me) which made me feel a bit better so maybe I’m completely over analysing and it was harmless

Reply 1

username6682389

Original post by Anonymous

I went to xmas party in 2022 and I remember chatting to a colleague there for ages. He was young and my age and I guess we just had a lot in common (it transpired we went to the same uni).
I have a boyfriend (and we were living together and had been together 7 months at that time) but I never ever told this guy that I had a boyfriend?? I would never cheat on my boyfriend but I have anxiety and sometimes that night I hate myself because why would I not tell this guy?? I didn’t even bring it up.
I also remember that towards the end of the night I was dancing and me and this guy did this dance (not touching each other or anything romantic) but you know the one where you get twirled around? I’ve done it with girl friends too and I wouldn’t consider it romantic but I’m still mortified.
The conversation wasn’t flirty and I had a few drinks and I do remember phoning my boyfriend in the toilets intermittently but I never really check my phone at these work events cos I don’t like to look antisocial.
I love my boyfriend so much, and tbh we we’ve been together over 2 years now but I just worry about that night because it was probably my first night out as a person in a relationship so I worry that I didn’t compose myself like I should’ve done but I didn’t cheat!
Does that make sense and how do I get over it? I don’t think about it all the time but sometimes I’m like ‘ why didn’t I mention my boyfriend at all’… anyway I love my boyfriend to death and I wouldn’t make the same ‘mistake’ again & it transpired that this guy had a girlfriend based in Australia (and he never mentioned her to me) which made me feel a bit better so maybe I’m completely over analysing and it was harmless

You didn't do anything wrong. Don't worry. As long as you never do anything serious, you should be fine

Reply 2

isabellaeng

Original post by Anonymous

I went to xmas party in 2022 and I remember chatting to a colleague there for ages. He was young and my age and I guess we just had a lot in common (it transpired we went to the same uni).
I have a boyfriend (and we were living together and had been together 7 months at that time) but I never ever told this guy that I had a boyfriend?? I would never cheat on my boyfriend but I have anxiety and sometimes that night I hate myself because why would I not tell this guy?? I didn’t even bring it up.
I also remember that towards the end of the night I was dancing and me and this guy did this dance (not touching each other or anything romantic) but you know the one where you get twirled around? I’ve done it with girl friends too and I wouldn’t consider it romantic but I’m still mortified.
The conversation wasn’t flirty and I had a few drinks and I do remember phoning my boyfriend in the toilets intermittently but I never really check my phone at these work events cos I don’t like to look antisocial.
I love my boyfriend so much, and tbh we we’ve been together over 2 years now but I just worry about that night because it was probably my first night out as a person in a relationship so I worry that I didn’t compose myself like I should’ve done but I didn’t cheat!
Does that make sense and how do I get over it? I don’t think about it all the time but sometimes I’m like ‘ why didn’t I mention my boyfriend at all’… anyway I love my boyfriend to death and I wouldn’t make the same ‘mistake’ again & it transpired that this guy had a girlfriend based in Australia (and he never mentioned her to me) which made me feel a bit better so maybe I’m completely over analysing and it was harmless

Honestly, you didn’t do anything wrong as you didn’t cheat or do anything inappropriate, but still I can understand why it bothers you as maybe it feels like you are hiding something from your boyfriend? I would say to talk to him and explain that nothing happened but you feel guilty and can’t stop thinking about how you didn’t mention you were in a relationship when talking to the guy. Hopefully it will help you to let go of those negative feelings and move on. Don’t keep it to yourself as it will just harm your relationships, you need to be open with these feelings so you can move past them.