Husband keeps saying that I wouldn't pass my practical driving test.
Hi all,
I am new to this forum. I am 32yr old Female who recently decided to learn to drive in an automatic car. My husband 33yr has got almost 17 years of driving experience , he was teaching me to learn driving. My husband keeps on shouting and yelling at me for every single thing. With each lessons I feel like I am improving but my husband isn't convinced. He keeps shouting at me for breaking harshly and that his break pads will worn out which is understandable. However no matter how smoothly I break, he keeps yelling at me that the breaking was not smooth enough for him. With each yelling and shouting my confidence level decreases and I even forget to steer properly which again he shouts at me. Now he is convinced that I don't respect him , as I don't obey what he asks me to do, which is not true as I get really nervous while driving. Now he has asked me not to book a theory test as he is convinced that I cannot pass a driving test. It has been 10 lessons with him and every lesson I end up crying .
I am new to this forum. I am 32yr old Female who recently decided to learn to drive in an automatic car. My husband 33yr has got almost 17 years of driving experience , he was teaching me to learn driving. My husband keeps on shouting and yelling at me for every single thing. With each lessons I feel like I am improving but my husband isn't convinced. He keeps shouting at me for breaking harshly and that his break pads will worn out which is understandable. However no matter how smoothly I break, he keeps yelling at me that the breaking was not smooth enough for him. With each yelling and shouting my confidence level decreases and I even forget to steer properly which again he shouts at me. Now he is convinced that I don't respect him , as I don't obey what he asks me to do, which is not true as I get really nervous while driving. Now he has asked me not to book a theory test as he is convinced that I cannot pass a driving test. It has been 10 lessons with him and every lesson I end up crying .
Don't learn to drive with your partner or parent, this is exactly why, it stirs up stress that you both need to take home with you.
Plenty of experienced drivers seem to make this mistake of thinking they have magically gained teaching skills at some point while driving to work and back, but yeah they stress, they shout, they get angry.
Plenty of experienced drivers seem to make this mistake of thinking they have magically gained teaching skills at some point while driving to work and back, but yeah they stress, they shout, they get angry.
(edited 8 months ago)
You should learn to drive with an actual trained instructor. You may also want to discuss the interpersonal situation with your husband.
Original post by sruthy1012
Hi all,
I am new to this forum. I am 32yr old Female who recently decided to learn to drive in an automatic car. My husband 33yr has got almost 17 years of driving experience , he was teaching me to learn driving. My husband keeps on shouting and yelling at me for every single thing. With each lessons I feel like I am improving but my husband isn't convinced. He keeps shouting at me for breaking harshly and that his break pads will worn out which is understandable. However no matter how smoothly I break, he keeps yelling at me that the breaking was not smooth enough for him. With each yelling and shouting my confidence level decreases and I even forget to steer properly which again he shouts at me. Now he is convinced that I don't respect him , as I don't obey what he asks me to do, which is not true as I get really nervous while driving. Now he has asked me not to book a theory test as he is convinced that I cannot pass a driving test. It has been 10 lessons with him and every lesson I end up crying .
I am new to this forum. I am 32yr old Female who recently decided to learn to drive in an automatic car. My husband 33yr has got almost 17 years of driving experience , he was teaching me to learn driving. My husband keeps on shouting and yelling at me for every single thing. With each lessons I feel like I am improving but my husband isn't convinced. He keeps shouting at me for breaking harshly and that his break pads will worn out which is understandable. However no matter how smoothly I break, he keeps yelling at me that the breaking was not smooth enough for him. With each yelling and shouting my confidence level decreases and I even forget to steer properly which again he shouts at me. Now he is convinced that I don't respect him , as I don't obey what he asks me to do, which is not true as I get really nervous while driving. Now he has asked me not to book a theory test as he is convinced that I cannot pass a driving test. It has been 10 lessons with him and every lesson I end up crying .
When you get a driver licence just ride him over to show him that you got the licence
Only way I've heard of this working is by getting professional lessons first and then doing some confidence building miles driving with your family member after you've learned the basics properly and calmly.
If your family member is destroying your confidence it's just counterproductive.
If your family member is destroying your confidence it's just counterproductive.
Original post by sruthy1012
Hi all,
I am new to this forum. I am 32yr old Female who recently decided to learn to drive in an automatic car. My husband 33yr has got almost 17 years of driving experience , he was teaching me to learn driving. My husband keeps on shouting and yelling at me for every single thing. With each lessons I feel like I am improving but my husband isn't convinced. He keeps shouting at me for breaking harshly and that his break pads will worn out which is understandable. However no matter how smoothly I break, he keeps yelling at me that the breaking was not smooth enough for him. With each yelling and shouting my confidence level decreases and I even forget to steer properly which again he shouts at me. Now he is convinced that I don't respect him , as I don't obey what he asks me to do, which is not true as I get really nervous while driving. Now he has asked me not to book a theory test as he is convinced that I cannot pass a driving test. It has been 10 lessons with him and every lesson I end up crying .
I am new to this forum. I am 32yr old Female who recently decided to learn to drive in an automatic car. My husband 33yr has got almost 17 years of driving experience , he was teaching me to learn driving. My husband keeps on shouting and yelling at me for every single thing. With each lessons I feel like I am improving but my husband isn't convinced. He keeps shouting at me for breaking harshly and that his break pads will worn out which is understandable. However no matter how smoothly I break, he keeps yelling at me that the breaking was not smooth enough for him. With each yelling and shouting my confidence level decreases and I even forget to steer properly which again he shouts at me. Now he is convinced that I don't respect him , as I don't obey what he asks me to do, which is not true as I get really nervous while driving. Now he has asked me not to book a theory test as he is convinced that I cannot pass a driving test. It has been 10 lessons with him and every lesson I end up crying .
Has he passed his driving test?
Original post by ivanita12
Has he passed his driving test?
With 17 years driving experience that will probably be a yes.
Original post by StriderHort
With 17 years driving experience that will probably be a yes.
Oh i was gonna say bc if he didn't he is probably jealous
Original post by StriderHort
With 17 years driving experience that will probably be a yes.
all i can say is ignore him you are gonna do great
Original post by StriderHort
With 17 years driving experience that will probably be a yes.
you won't do great you will do amazing
Thank you all for your comments. It means a lot to me . Since the last driving lesson with him, he has banned me from learning to drive in his car for a week for not breaking smoothly (according to him). Since then I have decided to take professional lessons from a qualified instructor. Hopefully I will gain the confidence to drive again without been yelled.
Please divorce your husband. It will be the best thing you've ever done.
My mother went through the same sort of stuff when she was learning to drive - at the hands - well fists actually - of my father.
My mother went through the same sort of stuff when she was learning to drive - at the hands - well fists actually - of my father.
The most important thing here is never to have lessons with family members or partners as has previously been said in this thread. Always go for professional driving instructors.
The primary reason is because whilst a family member or partner could say yes to giving some instruction, there is always the chance of picking up some of their bad habits aswell, hence the saying do as I say not as I do.
my sister is looking to learn and has ask my brother and I if either of us would show her how to drive before she starts actual lessons with an instructor but as my sister and I have never got on, I politely declined. The biggest mistake your husband has made is yelling at you, he should have known better because the 1 thing no instructor should do ( whether qualified or not ) is yell at anybody who is learning as it will inevitably harm their confidence and lead to anxiety.
If I may also add, everyone has to get used to how a vehicle works, accelerates and it's braking system as no 2 vehicles are alike in how they perform. I often had minor arguments with my dad while I was his backup driver when he was on motability and frequently he used to have a go at me for how I changed gears, however, I rapidly shut him down and said that he was only having a go at me because I didn't drive exactly how he did and he didn't like it when I also told him that no 2 drivers anywhere in the world drive exactly the same, we all pick up our little habits the more experience we get.
As for your test and your hubby saying you won't pass, definitely ignore him, he's just trying to beat you down and make you feel like you can't or won't do it, but know this, you can do it and most importantly, you will do it and never ever let him judge you or make you feel the way you do.
His behaviour is totally unacceptable, DO NOT tolerate it at all.
You've got this, go for it.
The primary reason is because whilst a family member or partner could say yes to giving some instruction, there is always the chance of picking up some of their bad habits aswell, hence the saying do as I say not as I do.
my sister is looking to learn and has ask my brother and I if either of us would show her how to drive before she starts actual lessons with an instructor but as my sister and I have never got on, I politely declined. The biggest mistake your husband has made is yelling at you, he should have known better because the 1 thing no instructor should do ( whether qualified or not ) is yell at anybody who is learning as it will inevitably harm their confidence and lead to anxiety.
If I may also add, everyone has to get used to how a vehicle works, accelerates and it's braking system as no 2 vehicles are alike in how they perform. I often had minor arguments with my dad while I was his backup driver when he was on motability and frequently he used to have a go at me for how I changed gears, however, I rapidly shut him down and said that he was only having a go at me because I didn't drive exactly how he did and he didn't like it when I also told him that no 2 drivers anywhere in the world drive exactly the same, we all pick up our little habits the more experience we get.
As for your test and your hubby saying you won't pass, definitely ignore him, he's just trying to beat you down and make you feel like you can't or won't do it, but know this, you can do it and most importantly, you will do it and never ever let him judge you or make you feel the way you do.
His behaviour is totally unacceptable, DO NOT tolerate it at all.
You've got this, go for it.
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