I recently completed an Honours Degree and I will be graduating with a 2:1. I completed this degree as part of an apprenticeship scheme so it was alongside a full time job. Throughout the years I've put in hard work and I've been on track for a first however, I completely tanked it on my dissertation which brought my grade down to an upper second, just missing a first.
Now I know that's still a really great grade & I know plenty of people (my parents included) who got 2:1's & had a successful career. However, I can't help but feel devastated that I got a 2:1 when majority of my cohort got firsts including best friend.
I'm also guaranteed a job on completion of the apprenticeship but I can't help but feel embarrassed & doubting my capabilities against my peers who got firsts. I feel as though all my hard work over the years has been for nothing & I cringe when people ask me what I got or thinking about graduating, which I was excited for. I'm bitter that they'll all get to celebrate results they're proud of whilst I feel ashamed of my own. I'm aware that this is all extremely pathetic as it's still a good grade & there are much bigger things to worry about. However, I have always been my own biggest critic & strive for perfection putting way too much pressure on myself, particularly as I'm used to being the 'academic one' - truly a curse!
I'm mainly kicking myself for not seeking extra help with my dissertation as I probably would have got a first if I had done so.
Not entirely sure what I’m looking for in posting this - perhaps someone who has felt similarly and can relate to this? Or anyone who can offer any advice/words of wisdom to help me stop beating myself up & get out of my own head?