The Student Room Group

Potential revenge porn?

I was speaking to this guy on Snapchat around a year ago, we didnt meet up and we have stopped speaking, however since he has tried to contact me, and a few months ago he said he has my nudes, which i took one time without showing my face on snapchat. I dont know how he has them because on snapchat it shows if someone screenshotted, unless he had another device and recorded it. I am worried now as this was a year ago but im only finding out recently that he has them, Im scared he might share them and i dont know what to do. If he recorded just the nude i would be okay as my face isnt on it, but if he records my whole profile then everyone will know its me. He also has my phone number which he could also expose. I dont want to go to the police because my family would kill me
Reply 1
Good that the images you shared didn’t have your face. I would be inclined not to worry about it and deal with it on the unlikely event he does do something. You could threaten to report him to the police, thankfully abusing images is a serious offence and it might make him think twice. You could also change your phone number.
Reply 2
I second Zarek's advice, and I agree that it's good your face wasn't visible in them, as if they do ever get leaked you can claim with confidence that they're not actually yours, which could make the issue less severe.

It's also worth noting that if you are under 18, those photos are considered CP and it's illegal for him to have them (and you wouldn't be in a good position having taking and sent them, but that's less important).
Reply 3
As someone who has dealt with a lot of this kind of nonsense - your first port of call should be Snapchat. Make a complaint to them. I am assuming you're under 18 if you're worried about your parents. If you go to police, it is going to be very very difficult to keep your parents out of this, and one of the first things that police will want to know is whether you are actually going to support any action by them. If the answer is no, then the whole thing is dead in the water - like there is literally no point in any of it, and it gets recorded as yet another crime that nothing can be done about.

Having said that, you can see how it will sound to Snapchat, or indeed anyone else. "I sent this guy my nudes, and now I'm worried that he has the nudes I sent him." If he hasn't actually made any threats to you, then he hasn't actually done anything wrong. (EDIT*) - aside of course from any potential IIC offence, but depending on how old he is, that might not even be much of an issue.
(edited 7 months ago)
Reply 4
Original post by Trinculo
If he hasn't actually made any threats to you, then he hasn't actually done anything wrong.

Unless the OP is under 18, in which case the person in question would be committing a crime for having them.
Reply 5
Original post by Zarek
Good that the images you shared didn’t have your face. I would be inclined not to worry about it and deal with it on the unlikely event he does do something. You could threaten to report him to the police, thankfully abusing images is a serious offence and it might make him think twice. You could also change your phone number.

I’m not sure whether to contact him again just to ask him if he actually has the nudes, because if he used another device to record them off snapchat i don’t know what he actually has, like he could have also recorded my whole profile which shows my username, birthday and has photos of my actual face, then i wouldn’t be able to deny that it was me. Part of me is thinking that he doesn’t have my nudes and he could be saying that just so i can stay with him but i’m really unsure at this point as he still has our conversations on imessage. I will be changing my number though but i was thinking if he exposes my number i am done for, as for people who have my number they will see it’s me.
Reply 6
Original post by Doomotron
I second Zarek's advice, and I agree that it's good your face wasn't visible in them, as if they do ever get leaked you can claim with confidence that they're not actually yours, which could make the issue less severe.
It's also worth noting that if you are under 18, those photos are considered CP and it's illegal for him to have them (and you wouldn't be in a good position having taking and sent them, but that's less important).

Hopefully my snapchat profile wasn’t recorded or whatever then i could possibly be okay and say it wasn’t me- but he does have my number and i think he still has like an actual photo of my face saved i’m not sure. I’m not under 18 also
Reply 7
Original post by Trinculo
As someone who has dealt with a lot of this kind of nonsense - your first port of call should be Snapchat. Make a complaint to them. I am assuming you're under 18 if you're worried about your parents. If you go to police, it is going to be very very difficult to keep your parents out of this, and one of the first things that police will want to know is whether you are actually going to support any action by them. If the answer is no, then the whole thing is dead in the water - like there is literally no point in any of it, and it gets recorded as yet another crime that nothing can be done about.
Having said that, you can see how it will sound to Snapchat, or indeed anyone else. "I sent this guy my nudes, and now I'm worried that he has the nudes I sent him." If he hasn't actually made any threats to you, then he hasn't actually done anything wrong. (EDIT*) - aside of course from any potential IIC offence, but depending on how old he is, that might not even be much of an issue.

If i make a complaint to snapchat what can i say? Also no i’m 22 he’s olderI’m worried about my parents because i’ll just get in really bad trouble so i don’t think i would report it to the police if i’m honest. He didn’t make any threats but when he reached out to me a few months ago he was begging to be back with me and i didn’t want to them all of a sudden he sent me screenshots of our old conversations outside of snapchat and then he just said he still has my nudes and then i straightaway blocked him cause i panicked…
Reply 8
Original post by Anonymous
I’m not sure whether to contact him again just to ask him if he actually has the nudes, because if he used another device to record them off snapchat i don’t know what he actually has, like he could have also recorded my whole profile which shows my username, birthday and has photos of my actual face, then i wouldn’t be able to deny that it was me. Part of me is thinking that he doesn’t have my nudes and he could be saying that just so i can stay with him but i’m really unsure at this point as he still has our conversations on imessage. I will be changing my number though but i was thinking if he exposes my number i am done for, as for people who have my number they will see it’s me.

Maybe just let it lie and only act if he does something. Revenge porn is a serious offence so you can take action if necessary. Everyone too accepts that it is a despicable thing to do and would blame the perpetrator not the victim. You could also try getting some legal advice from a law centre, trade union or women support charity.
Reply 9
Original post by Anonymous
If i make a complaint to snapchat what can i say? Also no i’m 22 he’s olderI’m worried about my parents because i’ll just get in really bad trouble so i don’t think i would report it to the police if i’m honest. He didn’t make any threats but when he reached out to me a few months ago he was begging to be back with me and i didn’t want to them all of a sudden he sent me screenshots of our old conversations outside of snapchat and then he just said he still has my nudes and then i straightaway blocked him cause i panicked…

At this point, do you have any reason to think he might do this? Did you try just asking him to delete them? You don't have anything to lose.
Reply 10
Original post by Trinculo
At this point, do you have any reason to think he might do this? Did you try just asking him to delete them? You don't have anything to lose.

Well because i don’t want to be in a relationship with him or have any contact with him so he could do it because he’s angry or something, i did ask him to delete it but he said only if i send them again he will which i didn’t believe so then i just blocked him.. i’m kind of more worried about him leaking my phone number because i do see this happens a lot especially on tiktok, and he has pictures of me too and i’m scared he can just easily leak it i don’t know.
Reply 11
Original post by Anonymous
Well because i don’t want to be in a relationship with him or have any contact with him so he could do it because he’s angry or something, i did ask him to delete it but he said only if i send them again he will which i didn’t believe so then i just blocked him.. i’m kind of more worried about him leaking my phone number because i do see this happens a lot especially on tiktok, and he has pictures of me too and i’m scared he can just easily leak it i don’t know.

Make the relevant complaints to Snapchat or whatever platform via their processes. They're best placed to deal with it.

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