My boyfriend broke up with me over this.

First of all, I am sorry about what you are going through. This sounds like you're dealing with a lot. It seems that your ex boyfriend really cares about you but is not in a place where he feels he can support you right now. However, you are willing to stay with him throughout these difficult times. You are an amazing individual and IVF could definitely be something to think about if you end up back together in the future. I can understand how heartbroken you are, it makes sense. Although I don't think that your ex should have broken up with you over the financial worries, it seems like there is more to the problem than he is telling you. It seems unusual for him to have all of these problems arise and then avoid you? I mean.. I feel like he may need time to work on himself and by him saying he will always love you, could that be hope for the future? Anyways, I hope everything works out for you. I'm wondering if you feel that he is lying?

I'm very sorry about this predicament that you're in. It appears to me that your boyfriend is distraught with the fact he can't provide biological children for you, and that seems to be causing him a humongous amount of anxiety. I think he's really overreacting though, and he should listen to you because you have that solution and if you really do matter to him, then he should come around and you should be able to realign with him. Maybe he doesn't want to contend with depression around other people, but I think you need to really speak to him and tell him that there's always a way forward and the way forward is right in front of him, he just needs to think in a different way.

To be blunt, I also think there is more going on from his side here. Infertility and finances are serious issues but it certainly sounds like you were keen to work through them rather than it being insurmountable.
If he was super keen to continue the relationship, or emotionally mature enough to, I think he would have persisted.

There must've been something else because--- he has been avoiding me physically. I mean we didn't even have sex until 6 months into the relationship and he never wore protection and when I asked him if I should take contraception he said there was no need.

I was willing to go above and beyond for him. Now I am starting to feel like.. he knew the entire time that he was infertile.

I'm very sorry about this predicament that you're in. It appears to me that your boyfriend is distraught with the fact he can't provide biological children for you, and that seems to be causing him a humongous amount of anxiety. I think he's really overreacting though, and he should listen to you because you have that solution and if you really do matter to him, then he should come around and you should be able to realign with him. Maybe he doesn't want to contend with depression around other people, but I think you need to really speak to him and tell him that there's always a way forward and the way forward is right in front of him, he just needs to think in a different way.

I completely agree with this perspective. It's clear that your boyfriend's anxiety stems from his feelings of inadequacy regarding biological children, but it's important for him to see the bigger picture. You have a viable solution, and if he truly cares for you, he should be open to exploring it together. It's crucial for him to understand that facing this challenge as a team can strengthen your bond. Having a heartfelt conversation and encouraging him to adopt a new mindset could be the key to moving forward together.

Of course, he knew he was infertile. He's been playing you and he got what he wanted from you. He's probably found someone new to play with. Unfortunately, it is now time for you to move on.

Hi,
I am 28 (f) and my ex boyfriend (35) have been together for 8 months.
I live in London, he lives in Bicester. 3 months ago, he discovered his ex girlfriend of 2 years was pregnant by another man. They had been having intercourse for 2 years unprotected and he told me that she never got pregnant.
He suspected he was the problem. Got tested and the doctors told him he had zero sperm. He was mortified and I was completely distraught as we both planned on having a family together after getting married.
He was so heartbroken as we both wanted 3 kids. So alternatively I suggested that we go down the IVF route.
He has a pituitary gland tumour and therefore has to take testosterone injections for them. He insists that he didn't know he was infertile.
I googled the medication and symptoms till I was black and blue in the face to a point where it caused panic attacks and fever.
I just didn't want to lose him. I thought of every solution and sought to work through things together as a team cos I was so in love with him.
This occurred 2 weeks ago.
Yesterday he broke up with me because he discovered that he was suddenly financially stable and could not take me out on dates anymore.
His plan was to buy us a home in 10 months and now all of a sudden he cannot date me as he can't afford to. Yet, he is living with his parents. I assumed that he would have more disposable income than he did 4 months ago when he was renting. Nothing was adding up.
He avoided seeing me for two weeks. One reason was that his debit and credit cards got maxed out. Following week his car broke down on his way to seeing me.
He broke up with me because he felt I shouldn't have to endure all these problems before getting married and that infertility issues are "married people problems" not for people who are dating.
I offered to support him both financially and even reassured him that I will go through IVF just to give him babies. So we can be a family one day.
He refused. Told me he is in love with me and will never stop being in love but has to let me go to honour and preserve my future and to be with a man who can provide for me and give me biological children.
I am completely heartbroken.
I feel I have lost the love of my life.

That is a very sad story. I would say he has gone into a deep deep depression and he is kind of punishing himself BUT by that causing you grief. I think you should reach out to him and say it does not matter and whether you are rich or poor, kids of your own or not, that you love him. You should ,and he should, be happy that you have each other.
Get some counselling. If you look up "Hypnotherapy Directory" on Google they have all kinds of therapies all over UK it is good site.
LIFE IS FAR FAR TOO SHORT !!!!

He broke up with me.
When I did speak to him, I offered every solution to him under the sun and he still didn't want to meet me halfway.
So you want me out here beating a dead horse begging this man to want me?
Im here grieving over a future I thought I was going to have with him. He is the one who ended things.

Yes I know, but that may very well be HIS Depression causing him to break up, not that in his right mind he would do that.
I would speak to him and say you still want him whether or not he in penniless, cannot have children or whatever. If you love him then it can work out.

The ship has very much sailed.

Yes I know, but that may very well be HIS Depression causing him to break up, not that in his right mind he would do that.
I would speak to him and say you still want him whether or not he in penniless, cannot have children or whatever. If you love him then it can work out.

But what was the point? There are tons of women who don't want children, he could have gone after them when in the very beginning - I expressed to him that I wanted kids.