I think society has come a long way with equality between men and women and so im not particularly sure about where this post lies. But the idea of me (a woman) changing my surname that I have lived with for my entire life for my future husband really makes me feel weird. I really hope this expectation starts to change soon and it shocks me that it hasnt already.
Its not really the actual act of changing it, but more the expectation to do so for a woman. After marriage taking on my husbands surname will be considered the normal thing to do, however, the other way around would be a huge deal. I think a man would be offended if I were to not take on his surname, but asking him to do it would be considered unreasonable and woke. I guess it would make him think "does she not love me enough to take on my surname", but what about the other way around? I think I could be completely in love with and devoted to a man but still feel extremely uneasy about changing my surname to his.
I feel like my kids will have no part of my family name in their identities which seems crazy to me. I know middle names are sometimes maiden names but this isnt enough. I'd like for my name to be passed on to my kids and understandably a man would too, but society expects there to be an easy answer to this. Im not sure if this post sounds somewhat crazy but I guess a mans reasons for wanting their wife and kids to take on their surnames would be exactly the same as a woman's reasons for them to take on hers instead. I cant believe this isnt talked about more.
I feel as if it is just a tradition now and it isnt misogyny or anything because of how far back it goes but do any other women also feel this way? And how do you plan to overcome this? Also to any men, have you ever thought about including/taking on your wife's name and how do you feel about this?