Hi,
My boyfriend broke up with me a week ago. Im 28 and he is 35.
We were together for 8 months.
Before dating, we explored each other's dealbreakers and I explained to him that my non-negotiable was marriage, kids, provider etc.,
He told me he met that criteria. We continued our relationship as normal but.. it got to a point where 3 months in, I asked to go to his place in Oxford as he was renting. I live in London with my mum.
He refused to let me come up to him and would always come to me. But running around London for dates every week was exhausting and I wanted alone time, naturally. But he would say...
"Where I am living is not conducive for you as I live with questionable people"
But even when I said we can just lock the door?
He would flat out say No. I will not allow you over as it's not safe.
6 months in. Still the same thing, would not invite me to meet friends as they lived far away. Dad was a raging alcoholic and mother was disabled and he was constantly breaking their fights?
Then 4-5 months in... he asks me "What if it turns out I cannot have kids, will you break up with me?"
This came out of nowhere and I was so confused. As he told me he had unprotected sex with all his previous partners and they never got pregnant until they left him.
Right at the start he told me he had a health condition. A pituitary gland tumour. So he cannot produce testosterone naturally and has to take injections. Also, he mentioned suffering a testicular torsion at 18 and had to go to therapy for 2 years afterwards.
So he means to tell me his Urologist/Endocrinologist/Doctor! Did not manage his expectations regarding infertility?
They found he had zero sperm and it was highly likely he wasn't producing sperm before testosterone injections.
When he told me a month ago that he cannot have kids and he can only go through IVF/adoption. I reassured him that I loved him and I am open to IVF and then...
A few weeks later he started avoiding me. His credit/debit cards have been maxed out so cannot see me. The following week, he asked me to meet him to talk... halfway through my journey he sends me a text saying he cannot come as his car seized up. The same car he told me was not in a good way to begin with.
He told me he was taking the train? But instead chose to drive his non-functioning car?
Then he brought up baby names... and wanting to buy us a house in 10 months...
To now saying he has no money and can no longer afford to take me on dates after telling him I'd meet him halfway he refused. Suddenly now he is financially unstable and doesn't want to hold me back?
It just came out of nowhere. I have been so angry and confused since.